A Yardstick, The Yankees and Yesterday

Having opened this door after it has been nailed shut for so long, I am beginning to view it from a different perspective. Which is what this blog is all about. Trying to view life from a different angle. The past holds many a key that can unlock the gateway to the future . Using it as a landmark I can better gauge the distance I've traveled and the direction I'm headed. The delicate part is very similar to cave divng. The art of which involves very deliberate and thought out movements. This is so not to disturb the long settled silty bottom. Which if disturbed can obliterate any hope of visibility or sound navigation. I would go so far as to say that once silted up the chances for panic and disaster increase exponentially. That being said, I will move through the next series of stories with thoughtful consideration of each step so as not to muddy the waters and get lost. I left us last night with Bobby sleeping and me with a knife under my pillow. Even with my apprehension of our situation I still felt a sense of safety in the knowledge that I was handling things as well as I could. Unc was gone taking care of what I was pretty sure would be an escape plan. The trouble with this was I had made a promise to Bobby and planned on seeing it through. Morning came and I tip toed out to find unc in the kitchen cooking breakfast. I opened the drawer that I had taken the knife from and put it back. As always, unc knew what was going on even without being there or hearing about it. I must say it could be quite exasperating on occasion. Without skipping a beat unc said " Jody, get me the bacon and 6 eggs out of the fridge and don't drop them." Replying " O.k. unc which eggs do you want? The ostrich eggs , the easter eggs, the dinosaur eggs, the emu eggs there are so many to choose from I just can't decide." Chuckling with his "kikiki" sound he circled his spatula and said " Boy..." I cut hm off saying in my best unc imitation" Yeah I know, boy if you don't cut out that foolishness ain't nothing gonna get done around here, let alone breakfast." Spinning faster than a 70 year old man should be able to, he ran, grabbed me and said " O.k. Mr. Smarty pants that's it, your cooking breakfast." Thinking he was going to hit me with the spatula he swung it fast and then gently placed it in my hand. He continued with " You remember what I taught you?" Grabbing the spatula I said" It's pretty hard to forget since it's the only damn thing I know how to do in the kitchen. Move aside great one and make room for the next generaton of master chefs."WhileI was saying this I was circling the spatula over head like I was waving a flag. Unc steps to me and hugs me and says " You know I love you more than my own flesh and blood, don't you?" Letting me go I look up at him in confusion and say " Of course I know that, you've already told me. Now enough with the sappy stuff let's get to work. We got people to feed." We hold each others eyes for a few seconds longer than usual. This saying much more than any words we ever spoke to each other. My mother said she would watch us for hours from her room. We would be on the front porch just sitting and looking out at the trees. Unc in his rocker and me on the steps, we would mutually connect with natures lessons. At first I was just sitting to keep him company, without disturbing his privacy. I kept looking for what he was looking at. For years I wondered just what the hell he saw. I knew he wouldn't tell me anyway, so I just kept on looking, hoping one day I would get it. I don't know when it happened , but one day it struck me he wasn't looking , he was listening. When I started listening, that's when I began to really see what he was looking at. As if on cue at unscheduled intervals we would simultaneously turn and look at each other for a few seconds then turn back to looking out. Mama said it gave her the greatest thrill to see us do that. I guess she was easily amused. What can I say? So back to the kitchen, didn't I just say we had people to feed? Well people it was, as daddy Carlton stumbled out in his pajamas followed by Carlton Jr. . They sat down at the table and unc began serving them coffee and juice. They read the paper as I went to the stove to see what unc had already started. There was this pot of steaming water with what looked to me like white sand in the bottom of it. I wondered if it was a way to clean a really burnt or dirty pan. So I asked unc " Should I toss this out?" He looked at me seriously and said " Boy have you done gone and lost your mind? Don't ever touch a black mans grits. It's just plain bad mojo." Isn't it Carlton?" Surely right you are Gilbert. That's what caused the damn civil war.Those damn yankees went about messin' with our grits. Everybody know that.What grade you in?" Knowing better than to answer I just stood there looking at the pot to see if it would give up some answers as to what a grit was. Finally I raised my yet to be used spatula and said 3 famous words that got breakfast moving in a hurry. "What's a grit?" All heads turned except for uncs' ,which dropped and stared at me as if I had just insulted their mother.Unc took the spatula from me and guided me to the table saying "We might as well sit. They ain't gonna let us near the kitchen anyway." Walking around to the chair that faced the kitchen I said "Are they mad?" Unc replied " Well that's hard to say, let's just say they're not mad at you." Shocked I said " I got you in trouble because I didn't know what a grit was?" Unc rolls his eyes and says "No, now they want to personally show you every type of food from the south. Since I haven't." The kitchen is in a buzz. Bowls whisking, bacon fryng, potatoes being peeled,cheese being grated and gravy being made. In less than an hour mounds of delicious southern delicacies were being presented on the table. Unc leans over to me and says " I hope and pray you brought your appetite boy, because we gonna be here a while." Since I hadn't eaten anything since a hot dog in grand central, my appetite was up for the challenge. I turn to unc and ask " What about Bobby? Should I go get him?" Unc shrugs and says " If you want , better go now before the food gets cold." I nod and go to room where I find Bobby still sleeping. I think for a minute what would I want. Probably rest more than food. I can always save him a plate and keep him company while he eats. I return and unc glances over to me as I walk back to the table. I give him a little shake of my head and he nods understanding. Little Carlton is down right friendly now as we get ready to feast. Daddy Carlton says " Let us all bow our heads in thanks: Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest, and let these gifts to us be blessed. Amen. Lets dig in." We start passing plates around at break neck speed. Half the stuff I don't recognize so I keep nudging unc " What is this? What is that?" This goes on for a few more times and finally unc looks at me and says " Boy just eat what there and decide if you like it after. Now let me eat in peace." There are fresh blueberry pancakes, biscuits and gravy, bacon, sausage and something called scrapple plus a pan of corn bread. Let's not forget the reason for this feast in front of us. The humble grit who in all its' glory has launched a thousand ships and fed southern troops throughout the Civil war. There were even different kinds of grits. There were creamy cheese grits and plain old regular grits. I asked which one I should try first and the consensus was the regular with butter, salt and a dash of fresh ground pepper. The room is silent as I try them. There good and I like them so everybody's happy. My favorite thing was the biscuits smothered in gravy and the blueberry pancakes. Being completely stuffed I start to get up and clear the plates , when unc says" Psst sit down you little southern jackrabbit. You're a guest. For today at least, tomorrow feel free to wash and dry all the dishes you want." Remembering about Bobby I ask " May I make Bobby a plate?" Daddy Carlton waves one arm and points with other saying " Already taken care of Jody. There's a plate full of food that would choke Sherman in the oven warming for my little Bobby boy. Thanks for thinking of him, there's not many who do." Daddy Carlton glares and Jr and he glares back not backing down. Unc says " Why don't you two cantankerous timber wolves just give it a rest. At least until my food settles." Backing off, but no forgetting they both get up and start cleaning. Unc and me alone again I ask " So what are we doing today?" His look tells me we're doing it. I ask "May I go out side and explore?" Unc out of character brings other into the conversation saying " Carlton Jody wants to know if he can go exploring?" Jr. stops and looks at me and says" Don't leave the house without someone with you, period end of discussion" O.k. so much for that plan. Unc says " Maybe you should go get Bobby up so he doesn't sleep all day." I say "o.k." Going in I can see Bobby huddled in a ball crying. Now what? I think. Then it hits me the unmistakeable smell of urine. It's strong too. Maybe this is more than I can handle. My internal answer comes back " Maybe it's more than you want to handle." I say " Yo Bobby boy hold on. I'm going to get some more towels . You take off your clothes and get your ass in that shower right this minute." Bobby sits up and says "O.k. Jody I'll take the sheets off too." I say as I'm leaving " That's my man Bobby, get on it." I go out quietly and get uncs' attention he walks over and I tell him the deal. He grabs the back of my neck and massages it saying " Go get the towels and let me handle this . You've really done enough and I couldn't be prouder of you. Big change in a small time, good sign, good sign." Smiling he lets go of my neck and I walk slowly to get the towels as discreetly as possible. The rest of the day went smoothly until the sun went down. What is it with this place at night? Unc and me are coming back from a walk and a trip to the local candy store, which was awesome. Even until this day they had candies I couldn't find anywhere else. When we get home we find dinner waiting. It was homemade fried chicken, mashed potatoes, collard greens and fresh summer corn. Not to mention a cherry pie cooling on the counter with a pitcher of pink lemonade. We ate enjoyed and relaxed until it was time for bed. It seems that when Eleanor gets this way, they bring her to her sisters until she dries out, which has been from anywhere from a day to a month. Bobbys' room had been cleaned and I could see there were rubber sheets on Bobbys' bed. Embarrassed he starts to make excuses for why he wets the bed and why his mama beats him. I wave my hand and say " Bobby I don't know about your mama, if you say so then I'll believe you. The sheets you got there, are on my bed at home too. You're not the only one to wet the bed so get over it your not that specal. Let's play a game . What games do you have?" His face lighting up like I had never seen it. In the whole 2 days I've been here. Has it only been 2 days? Jeez !, seems more like a week. Oh well, let's see what games Bobby has : Battle ship, Monopoly, Sorry, Checkers and oh yes the best game ever made by man or mouse. That's right folks "Mouse Trap". If you haven't played this game your life is incomplete. We play not only "Mouse Trap" but Battleship and "Sorry"(the game). By now it's after midnight and we're ready to sleep. I go to my bag and get my toothbrush and toothpaste and start to go out to the bathroom. Bobby asks " Where are you going" I say "" Just to the bathroom to brush my teeth." Bobby looks shy and says Oh o.k. That's good I guess..." Cutting him off I say " Go in my bag there is an extra tooth brush. Get it and let's go ." We go and brush our teeth. To me it looks like he's only done it a few times. The hint was when he put toothpaste on the back of the toothbrush. I play it off and say " Good idea Bobby, paste up both sides. I never tried that. Let me see." I do it and Bobby puts paste on the right side as well." Back in bed we talk, giggle, laugh and fart of course, until we go to sleep. Suddenly I'm awakened by a crash , groan and then a scream in the house. Oh god ! What now? I hide under the covers until I hear Bobby screaming too. I go out and find unc holding little Carlton bleeding from his right shoulder. unc is putting pressure on it and yells to me to call 911. I go and Carlton obviously in pain grunts out " No Gilbert they won't come here too dangerous at night and if they do it'll take hours. We only 10 blocks from Harlem Hospital Center. Jody call a gypsy cab, the number is on the side of the phone." Scared out of my mind. I call, they answer I say "We want a cab as soon as possible please. Hold on Unc whats the address? He says " 605 Morningside Ave. and 125th st.." I repeat it to the dispatcher and hang up . I say " It'll be here in 5 minutes. Unc? How can I help?" He says get Bobby dressed and ready we're going to the Hospital." I go , but Bobby's already dressed and ready to go. We go back to the living room where Carlton and unc are wrapping his wound with an ace bandage tightly. Unc says "Lets start going down stairs, take that side and hold Carlton." I do, as we slowly go down the stairs one step at a time. I see there's already blotches of Carltons blood. We get to the bottom and wait on the stoop. !0 minutes later the cab comes . We get in and Carlton says " Harlem Hospital Center on Lenox Avenue please." It takes about 15 min with lights and traffic. Unc tosses the guy a twenty and says "Thanks". Slowly getting out of the cab we help Carlton walk to the aumatic door. They whoosh open, we go in and they take Carlton on a gurney right away and I hear " Call the Police we've got another gunshot" Bobby and me wait until 6am and the sun is coming up. Daddy Carlton comes limping and hopping in on his cane. Goes to the desk and they tell him to wait . Unc goes to him and comforts him. Telling him what he knew. Unc takes us home and we fall into bed like I am to right now. Good night. Part 3 tomorrow, the conclusion. Thanks Jody

Tenements, Tears And Tenderness

This story takes place in the summer between middle school and high school. As we know the environment at the bowling alley was getting out of hand, or maybe more accurately the rebellious roots of my adolescence were cracking the pavement of reasonable behavior. I scaled back to just bowling league on Saturday mornings. Unc had his own mens league on Thursday nights. Unc and I stayed friends with everybody at the bowling alley. But our adventures with them dwindled to a precious few as lifes' consequences began collecting their debt . It wasn’t long after that when a big local robbery took place. The usual suspects were nowhere to be found. When I entered high school everyone was gone. Where they all landed is not much of a surprise. Learning from my past mistakes, I will do what it has taken me so long to do . That is to keep my big trap shut until the statute of limitations runs out. To me it was the end of an era I'll never forget.By this time I had a steady girl friend already and was headed in another dangerous direction in terms of life decisions. Seeing that the “Bad Life" was becoming irresistible to me, unc decided to give me a preview of what my life might be. Unc convinced my parents to let me go with him for 2 weeks to visit his family. We left on a train to grand central to begin our journey. When we arrived, unc explained to me that where we were going was very different in terms of what I had been used to. It’s one thing to drive through a ghetto or even spend an afternoon there. It’s another thing entirely to live there as the only person of a different color and background. In terms of distance its only 30 blocks from where I was born, but in relation to cultural understanding it may as well be another country. Take also into consideration that the time of this story is 1973. A ghetto is described as a "portion of a city in which members of a minority group live, especially because of social, legal, or economic pressure" This pretty much described where I spent those 2 weeks. Unc explained it to me as a place you spend your whole life getting out of, yet there is always still a little left inside. The term "Ghetto" was originally used to refer to the Venetion ghetto in Venice Italy where Jews were forced to live. The word "ghetto" actually means "foundry" in Italian, a reference to a foundry located on the same island as the area of Jewish confinement. It always struck me relevant that both my father and unc came from oppressed backgrounds and rose above them to recreate themselves as they saw fit.. Not accepting others' preconceived ideas about who and what they might be about. Truly self made men who graciously passed their gifts and experience onto me.So where were we? Oh yea, in the ghetto on vacation. Ironically you couldn't have planned a better life experience for me if you tried. Unc's brother Carlton picks us up at the 125th st station in his brand new..wait for it..Cadillac. Yeah, I know it's a stereotype, cliche or what have you, but at this time at this place for this man it is his freedom. He lives and dies for it. Carlton walks with a cane because of his having a near fatal crash when he fell asleep at the wheel of his last Cadillac.We get in and drive to Morningside Avenue, which is where the Jones clan resides. I'm excited because it's new and I know I'm safe with unc no matter where we are. We walk up 3 long flights of stairs into this tenement building with a potpourri of urban odors. Cabbage and urine vie for my olfactory attention as we walk by various apartments To complement this ambiance there is an equally interesting array of sounds. Blasting, televisions, couples screaming and babies crying set the stage for the birth of my humility. Daddy Carlton opens the door to his apartment. We enter it to find all of the above sensory experiences in concert with one another. Both unc and Carlton take charge in order to get things back to normal. Eleanor appears to be either very sleepy or very drunk. My instincts go with the latter as Carlton shakes her to regain consciousness. I can see this is not a new occurrence at this homestead. Carlton and unc leave the room to talk in private. Lil' Robert comes out with his fingers in his mouth and concern on his face as he looks on. Carlton leaves and unc gets Eleanor up and walking to the bathroom where they have a private little conference. .I put my bags down and sit on an aluminum red vinyl kitchen chair. Bobby looks at me and I wave saying "Hi I'm Jody" Looking scared and traumatized he reaches out a well salivated bunch of fingers to shake saying "I'm Bobby, are you Uncle Gilberts friend that's going to stay in my room with me?" Letting go of the over moist handshake I say" I guess I am. I never hard him called uncle Gilbert before. I call him unc. I 've been doing it since before I can remember." Nodding he smiles and says " Wanna see my room?" I reply " Sure Bobby show me the way." We walk down the hall way to the last room on the right as I wipe my hand ff on my pants.. Just in time, Bobby turns around sweeping his arm in a gesture to show me that he made space for me and to feel welcome. I pat Bobby on his shoulder , which is dry and say " Thanks for inviting me to stay in your room and going to the trouble of bringing an extra mattress in. Which one do you want me to sleep on?." I can see Bobby thinking as he says" I don't know check'em bofe see whith one yous likes best." I nod and step over the nearest one and take the one closest to the wall. Pointing I say " I think I'd like to sleep here. Do you have any pillows?" Bobby shakes his head and says " Yea, that's what I been tellin mama. That's we needs mo piwows.. Maybe if Uncle Gilbert talks to her we get them." Sitting down I laugh and say "Yeah, That's what usually happens. No matter who he talks to." Bobby snorts and a big old glob of snot comes bursting out and exploding like a soap bubble.He wipes most of it with the sleeve of his long sleeved green plaid shirt.. Still a good dab of clear mucus on his lip and chin he says " Sorry 'bout that I didn't get you did I? I gets da sniffles alot. Just don't know why that is." Seeing that I better toughen upon my aversion to others bodily fluids, I say " No problemo, you do hit me, I'll be flicking a fresh dug boogey your way . Don't you worry. Maye I'll start getting ready tonight just in case." Grabbing his face as if I hurt him he starts to make some heaving grunting sound between his hands. Just then Eleanor leans in suporting herself on the door jam and sees Bobby and mumbles something I can't quite get. Bobby slowly takes his hands away and begins wiping them on his shirt. From the looks of it one wipe won't be enough. He has what looks like a double palm full of hair gel. Lunging at him Eleanor takes a swipe at Bobby. He runs from her screaming and crying " No mama don' hit me please mama I ain't done nothin wrong.. I ain't done nufing wong." Grabbing him she start slapping and shaking him like he is some sort cushion that needs to be cleaned by beating it.. She hits him with every slurred syllable " Lil' Robert(wack wack) you'e a discussin dishcray zoo dis house. Goz on zan waj up zii may kin dinna (wack wack) sgo on skit boy foe I giz zoo nuza woopin.(wack wack)" Having seen enough of this tender family moment I hurdle both mattrsses in a single bound and slide by Eleanor on my way to a full run. Yelling "Unc! Unc, you better get over here things are way out of control." Running from the kitchen he looks at me with wide eyes seeing if I'm o.k.. I say " Not me! It's Bobby, she's in there having target practice on him and he ain't been anything but nice.. Please unc help him, She's going to kill him, please now!!" Hearing crashes and crying screams Bobby comes runnng out with his shirt torn and scratch marks on his face that are bleeding. He looks at unc and opens his slobbery, snotty and blood filled hand s and drops to his knees in a silent scream." Unc snaps his fingers and points at me saying " Dammit boy I can't be messin' with another womans child. Go get him cleaned up in my room and lock the door . Don't come out till I call you.,. You hear me? " Looking hard at me I nod and go to Bobby.I drop to my knees.and I start telling him what I would want to hear " Bobby it's me Jody, we're going to unc's room and get cleaned up both of us o.k.?" Looking up at me like a wounded animal he scrunches up his face and tries to say ".o.kaah" but blood starts pouring from inside his mouth. I lean over put my arm around him.and pick him up bodily fluid and all . He looks deep into my eyes for that place only children of the secret know to look for. Seeing it, he drops his head and lets me walk him to uncs room. I say " Bobby I know what it feels like. As long as unc and I are here you can believe that's not happening again. Thinking to myself where did that come from? Bobby is trying not to cry, but is heaving up and down almost like he's laughing. We go inside and I sit him on the bed. Taking his face in my hands I lift his head up to look in his eyes. He finally focuses on me and I say in a slow repeating rhythm that matches his breathing. "You did nothing wrong(inhale). It's going to be o.k(exhale). You did nothing wrong it's going to be o.k." Then slower " You... Did...Nothing....Wrong," Long pause " It's ...going ...to...be...o.k. Now say it with me You did nothing wrong , It's going to be o.k. Good" Barely a whisper, but it's a start, I keep this up until he keeps it going without me.I wet towels with warm water and wring them out. Bringing ithem to him I clean his hands. Then taking the warm towel with his hands inside I guide it to his face to start the assessment process..I say," Gentle Bobby , that's it ,nice and slow." He's still mumbling the chant " you bib nub nub ing hong Ebby hing hiss howing hoo hee ho wite." I affirm this by looking into his eyes. It's then that the fire starts to burn in me. I push it down deep inside me for later. Now Bobby needs gentleness ,not more violence. I bring a glass of cold water for him to take sips of if he wants. He justs keeps chanting softer and softer. I lay the glass on the night table. walk over and sit on the bed beside him and rock him to sleep.He lays down holding the towels and my hand until he falls asleep. I take the wet towels and toss them on the bathroom floor.. I sit on the floor with my back against the wall holding my knees and rocking. I hear myself chanting softly " You did nothing wrong Everyhing is going to be alright." Smiling with the knowledge that with unc and I here, they really are. Holy shit what a welcome wagon. I get up and walk to the window and hear screams of others sharing in the same shame filled secret of raging unbridled physical abuse. I say a silent prayer for them, for all of us. My nightmare ended, but thats a story for another time. It's late and Bobby's sound asleep. I decide to join him on the bed. At least it has pillows. Drifting off to sleep i smell something. I know that smell it's smoke, like a fire type smoke. I open the door and see 2 burnt smoldering pots steaming in the sink. Well I guess that was dinner. Everything under control I go back in the room and wait for unc. An hour later I hear the squeak of the front door. I open and peek out to see a guy in his twenty's carrying bags of food . I step out and say "Hey I'm Jody" He turns and says " Carlton, look man I just worked a double at the gas station. So nice to meet you goodnight kid" Well I thought, The welcome wagon justs keeps on coming. Getting pissed off I say to myself " Bring it on ! Bring that weak ass shit right to my door! I'm ready this time.fuckers! I go to the kitchen and get a knife and go to bed with it under my pillow..There's no knife under mine, but I think I'll join little bad ass me for a good nights sleep. Thanks Jody

When Worlds Collide!

This is part 2 of the story. Before I get too deep into this tale, I want to express my gratitude to my readers for your support , enthusiasm and helpful comments. To my younger readers I would like to apologize for the profanity and violence. Unfortunately they were both a part of my childhood. I hope and pray it will not be part of yours. I feel to hide that would be disingenuous. So take it in stride and realize it's only a story and not a manual for how to live your life. That being said let's return to our regularly scheduled program already in progress. The door Buddy runs out of is swinging shut when I realize I didn't tell him about the gun. I run out to tell him. I look for his car, which is a cherry red 1972 Ford Torino GT convertible with a 302 c.i. engine. I hear it before I see it as he rounds the corner to find me waving like a mad man. He pulls along side me, rolls down the window and I say " Buddy I'm so sorry about your brother. I didn't know. " He cuts me off with a wave saying "Believe me, I know you didn't. I've got to go warn a few people, so please let me go." He starts to drive and I slap his trunk and he screeches to a stop. Leaning out of his car he says " Are you nuts hitting my car? What do you want?" I say " Buddy he's got a gun in a black doctors bag, just so you know." Shaking his head he says "Sheeeit, I don't even want to know how you know that. Don't sweat it, he ain't the only one, I got it covered. If you see Gary tell him I went to Armonk to tell Kenny. Now would you please get out of my way." He starts and stops suddenly and leans out looking back saying "Thanks kid, that took some balls." I smile and walk back into the bowling alley to find unc standing there just watching. He turns and starts walking away. I run after him, but before I even get a word out he says " Boy don't you start spinning some yarn just to save your ass. If you gonna tell me, then do it like a man and be honest or just keep your mouth shut." I run and hug him and start spilling my guts and crying. I say " I know I deserve a whooping unc. I know 'sorry' don't mean shit. I know I'm in way over my head and I'm really scared." Unc walks me to the bar and sits me at the table. He comes back with 2 shots of Old Granddad Bourbon and slides one over to me saying " Up to my head and down to my toes look out stomach her it goes." He throws the shot back and gently places it back down on the table saying "Ahhh, Nice and clean every time. Go on, I knows you already been drinking, so don't stop on my account. Might as well see it through." I don't say anything I just down the shot and shiver as my stomach burns and I start to feel less scared. Unc says"So let me see if I got this straight boy. This sucker saves you, then lies about who he is and shows you he has a gun. Is that about right?" I nod. He continues " Now please tell me you didn't tell him where you live or anything about me. Did you?" I think, then answering " No unc I didn't say anything about our house . But he seems to know about you." Unc snorts and says " Sheeeit boy he don't know the first damn thing about me. I guess It won't do no good telling you to stay away from these smalltime crooks will it?" I open my eyes wide and spread my arms and shrug. Unc quickly retorts " Yeah, yeah, I already knew the answer." I look and see Gary Roberts bopping in, waving hello to us. Unc waves him over and hands him a twenty saying "Get us 2 shots of Old Granddad and yourself something." Looking at the money and then at me, unc says "Now go on ,we ain't got all day." Scared again, but very excited I say "You got a plan don't you?" Unc squints, which means shut up. Gary comes back with the drink and puts the shots by unc and a long neck Budweiser in front of himself. Unc raises his glass and says " To wiser men than us" We drink, I gag and cough, they both laugh. Feeling a little woozy I say " So whats the plan?" I raise my hand in front of me and say "Wait, I know I know, Jody shut up ." Unc and Gary catch up on whats been said and start to talk about whats the smartest way to handle all of this before it handles us. Gary suggests " Hey, why don't I call Armonk and see what's up with Buddy and Kenny." Unc asks " Stanleys Kenny?" Gary answers "Yea what Kenny did you think I was talking about?" Unc frowning says " Does Stanley know about any of this?" Gary replies " Well he should he's the one who bailed us out the night of the robbery. I jump in " Robbery, jail? Woah! What's next murder and mayhem?" Unc flicks his sausage like finger against my head, ringing my bell, then he says " Yea you if you don't button your lip." Now both in unison " Shut up Jody!!" I start to get sleepy and lay my head on the table when James Gwatney and Jimmy Lee roll in seeing me they say " What happened to him? Is he going to be able to bowl tonight?" Unc and Jimmy Lee talk alone for a bit and come back. Jimmy says " Let's go stud you got a match right now so get ready. I lift my head off the table and stagger. I go look for my euipment and find the lanes I'm bowling on. As I shoe up I find James Gwatney putting his shoes on ready to bowl. I say "Are you bowling?" He looks at me scrunching up his face and says " Yea , you. So let's do it. $100 a game 3 games another hundred for series you're up on 17." Looking around for unc I say " Does unc know about this match ?" Jimmy Lee comes up next to me and says " It's a doubles match, you and James against me and Jerry Soroken." I get set and feel my body sway back and forth. I begin my approach and stagger left and yank it right to throw it in the gutter and fall down. Getting up I say " Wow I guess I slipped." James grabs e and looks in my eyes saying "Are you fucking kidding me ? He's drunk Jimmy!" Jimmy picks me up off the ground and says "What have you been up to?" Before I can answer James grabs me agan and sits me down saying " What a sin and a shame, you gonna waste both my money and my time after all we done for you. Sheeit, you must be crazy. Get out of here before we get mad." They go back to bowling and I grab my gear pack it up and leave to look for unc. I walk all over the alley asking and looking, but no one seems to know where unc is. Finally I go to the snack bar to talk to the new fry cook Julie Diaz " Have you seen unc around?" She looks at me and says "Woowee!! Don't you look like yesterdays news, cutie pie?" Having a pounding headache I lookup at her and say "Well have you?" Getting that pissed off look she says "Jody cut the attitude. Vic has me working a double and I could use a little more help and a little less attitude. Wash up in back and start the dishes. I'm out. League's coming in soon and I need you to do prep." I slur a " Sure baby wha zever jew zay." Hic, burp, giggle. Julie leans in as if to kiss me and I start to kiss her back when she pushes me in my chest so hard I fall on my ass. She says " You're drunk off your ass. How did you get this wasted? Here." She offers me her hand to get up sayimg " Don't get anymore ideas Romeo, I ain't interested o.k.?" I get up, brush myself off, saying "Whatever... your loss. Don't think I'm helping you now after that. I'm outta here." Walking away I flick my hand at her, as if she's a fly bothering me. Hearing my name I turn around and see John Smith. My stomach free falls as I freeze in genuine fright. In a cocky strut that's headed my way I try to stand my ground but stagger. He grabs both my shoulders and says " Easy there kimosabe, I hope I'm not the one who started this forest fire." Feeling like I have to puke I run away in the direction of the bathroom. Just barely making it I start to empty the contents of my stomach and what feels like my eyeballs dropping in the toilet. I continue to kneel, pray and puke until the spasms pass. Getting up I stumble out of the stall to the sink and look in the mirror to see the wreck of what today has brought me. I have cuts and bruises from school. My eyes are past bloodshot and into the purple spectrum. I'm shaking, cold and scared.The door opens and John walks in carrying a towel, a brush and mouthwash. He lays them on the edge of the sink and backs away to the wall lighting a Marlboro. Taking a deep inhale he holds it, closes his eyes and slowly lets it out. Opening them he says "I seem to always be telling you to clean up. I always carry extra stuff in my car. Go ahead and use it, you'll at least look a little better." My arms supporting me on the sink I lift my head, look in the mirror and nod a thank you. I clean myself up and ask " Where do you want these?" I say pointing to the stuff he lent me. Turning to walk out he opens the door with one hand and flicks his other hand for me to follow him. As we walk he says "Unc's at Armonk. I told him I 'd bring you with me. Let's call there and you can talk to him." Confused I follow him to the payphone as he dials the number from memory. Covering the mouth piece he asks " What's uncs' real name?" Having to think a second I finally say" Gilbert Jones" John speaks " Yes, Would you be so kind as to please page a Mr. Glbert Jones? Thank you, why yes of course." He hands me the phone and I say "Unc?" Unc answers " Good you're alright. I talked to John and we agreed on him giving you a ride over here. I already talked to your mother and she's picking us up here late. See you in a few" I say "O.k. unc." I hang up the phone and follow John as he walks out the side door of the bowling alley to his car . I'm cold and start to shiver as I see my breath. John takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me. I say "Thanks" as he unlocks my side to let me in. Before I can sit down, he put his index finger on my chest saying " Just don't puke. I'll stop, but don't you puke in my car . Got it?" I nod and get in. I carefully close the door as he walks around to his side. He starts up the car and turns the heat on. We pull out of the parking lot and go to the light . Waiting there a 1970 lemon yellow corvette rolls up next to us revving its engine. John looks over at the driver and smiles revving his back as an answer. He looks at me and says " Hold on while I squeeze the juice out of this lemon over here." The light turns green and the tires scream as they spin scorching the asphalt. Finally grabbing we catapalt forward zooming through the smoke we just made. Shifting, the car jerks forward again and I'm pinned to my seat as trees and houses fly by in a blur. The corvette whizs by us and John smiles. We shift again and the car leaps forward stronger than before . I look over at the speedometer to see it go past 100 like a windsheild wiper on high. We are dead even as we fly down the highway to the next light. We downshift and break to stop. The corvette is still revving its' challenge. Once again as the light changes we dance back and forth. The car whinning in 4th gear as John reaches under the dash and flicks a metal switch. He floors it as he shifts into 5th. When he let the clutch go it's as if we were sling shotted forward. We fly by the Corvette and keep going through a red light and still going faster until John lets out a scream " Yahooo! We just smoked that rich ass sucker. I bet we hit at least 160. " The ride to Armonk takes 30 minutes we were there in 10. We pull in and park. As John shuts off the engine he turns to me and says "I want you to know that I helped you because of you, not because of who you know. We clear on that?" I nod saying " Sure, I really appreciate it too so you know. We clear?" I smile then say " Oh Oh " I open the door and roll out on all four as I empty the remains of my stomach on the concrete. John throws me the towel again and says " Well at least it wasn't in the car. Looks like things are looking up for you." We get out and walk in. I see unc in the bar. I run in and hug him. He looks at me and says " You know there are somethings you can't learn the hard way." I hop up to the bar and introduce my self to the bartender saying " I'm with unc here. Do you guys have any snacks?" He reaches his right and to me saying "Eddie Hayes, like my mother would say when ever anyone asked about my grades. She would answer What? Eddie He's all Hayes across the board." Then tosses me a menu and I order 4 different appetizers. I hand the menu back and say "I'm hungry, really hungry." Unc looks over at me and says " Boy don't think I'm paying for all that you got money. Go on spend it see how it feels." I reach in my pockets to find them empty I look around and the bartender puts his hand on mine saying " New customers are on the house, enjoy." I say " Thank you so much . I m starving." He looks at unc and winks. Then says "So young man what'll it be Beer, wine , bourbon or may a nice cold..." Before he gets it out I cover my mouth frantically looking around . He point to the bathroom and I once again kneel before the consequences of my actions. Unc comes in and comforts me with news of his discussion with John Smith who I find out is not John Smith after all. But as far as we're concerned he is. Unc then goes on to explain that this guy is a professional not like the other guys . He's here to put a crew together for some big job his cellmate told him about . He wanted to know If I was interested. I said "Maybe in a few years when my little bird can fly solo and not crash land." I ask "So unc?" He waves his hand and says " That's it. No more talk of this to anyone even between us." Now lets go and try to get some food in you before your mama gets here. I had sobered up by the time my mama arrived and went home straight to bed with dreams of bank robbers dancing through my mind. That's my cue. Thanks and Goodnight. Jody

All That Glitters Isn't Banks!

This story takes place at a couple of major turning points in my life. The following statements may only make sense to me, but I hope its' essence reflects the way in which I perceived the world at that time. We left off after the bowling tournament and the sudden shift in terms of boy girl interests. I was receiving a lot of attention from older girls at the bowling alley while still a pariah at school. A few things happened in a short span of time. I was popular with girls and still getting the crap beat out of me by older boys. One fateful Friday I was staying after school waiting to catch the late bus because there was less trouble on that bus and Danny my protector from kindergarten still drove it. Funny thing about trying to avoid trouble, it always seems to find you. It happens that a gang of tough 10th graders were prowling my school looking for kids to pick on. They hit the jackpot. This gang took my coat, shoes and kicked me around pretty bad. Not willing to live this way any longer I said "You guys are real tough all together . I'd kick the living snot out of you fuckers one on one! Douche bags!" The thought that I may have just committed suicide crossed my mind and I tore ass out o there. As you can see from the photo marked Fox Lane, it's a fairly big place. They split up and I got cornered rounding a building . Hearing the plop, plop, plop of their sneakers catching me. I got ready to cover up for another beating, when a janitor opens the back door to bring out the trash and see me. The kids don't even flinch. The janitor looks at me and says "Jody? What happened to you? You look like shit!" Having no idea who he is, I wipe my bloody face and say "Can you give me a hand?" He nods and throws me his keys saying " Downstairs make the 2nd left and look for my locker it says Banks on it. I'll be down in a minute. Start cleaning yourself up." Circling, the kids begin to taunt him laughing and calling him names "Hey mop face why don't you just but out? Let us clean up that piece of trash for you broom pusher."I watch through the door and don't go down stairs. He runs and grabs the biggest one and beats the living hell out of him. Pulling him to his knees he slaps the kid hard across the face and he starts crying and pleading for him to stop.. I can see the kid is crying. Janitor Bank says " The strange thing is street turd, I used to be just like you. Picking on innocent kids, taking their shit and having my brothers sell it for me." The kid is now hysterical and begging. The janitor leans in real close and slowly says" Tell you what I'm going to do . You get me that kids stuff back right fucking now, plus all your money and I won't kill your pitiful, pathetic little punk ass. Does that sound fair to you? Because it's a hell of lot better deal than I got at Osnings' little country club Sing Sing. Now move it, you got 5 minutes and I'm counting." The kid hauls ass down the hill and yells for his friends and comes right back. After giving the janitor everything he asked for. The janitor says "Take off you jacket and shoes and lay them over there by the stairs. After he does this the janitor shoves him hard and he falls covering his head. Stomping his size 12 work boot right near his head he says "Sit up and listen. Good job fetching Fido, I'm going to like doing business with you guys. What do you say we meet this time tomorrow? I could always just meet you at your home, that might be nice. I bet mommy and daddy have lots of nice things for old mop face to take" Spitting on him he says. "Now git outta my sight before I start to get mad. Go on git!"As he turns I run down stairs to where his locker is and wait shaking wondering what's going to happen to me. The janitor opens the door and tosses me my stuff. I fumble and drop it. While picking it up, he looks over at me as he does the combination on his locker. He clicks it open and tosses the kids stuff inside and pockets the cash. Then he throws me a first aid kit and says " Here use this and clean all the wounds that are bleeding. Use the band aids if you need them." I go to the sink and wash out the cuts and scrapes with soap and water. I say "Thanks for saving my ass. I thought they were going to really mess me up back there. Are you Buddy's brother?" He smiles saying " One and the same little man. He tells me you're the new hot shot bowling action with that old black man who takes care of you. Pretty good gig you got going if you ask me." I stop and look at him suddenly seeing the same look I hate to see in uncs' eyes. It's like he's looking right through you and you're just a small insignificant obstacle to be pushed aside. He tilts his head and says "Well? Is it or not?" Lost for a moment I scramble saying " Uhhh, I guess so. I don't know? It's my first time bowling for money. Even if it isn't mine." He smiles and says "That's the best way, keep your money and take theirs." Starting to relax I say " Yeah I never thought about it that way."With his hand he motions for me to put the first aid box back in his locker . I open it and I feel his eyes on my back. Lying right in front of me is a gun! Oh shit I just jumped from the frying pan into hell. Pretending not to see it, I toss the box in and slam it shut. I walk back over and sit on the bench in front of him starting to fix my shoes that he retrieved for me. Shaking and trying to act cool is like trying to walk forwards and backwards at the same time. Just not possible. I ask " What's your first name?" Still staring at me he says in a soothing voice" Bobby and you don't need to be so scared. It's over and I sure as hell got no interest in doing you any harm so lighten up little man, it's only a gun." He laughs. I try, but it comes out sounding fake like " Heh Heh heh." Bobby suddenly gets up quickly like he forgot something and goes to his locker. He opens it, reaches for something and turns partially to me saying " Here catch kid." He tosses me a glass bottle of Smirnoffs' vodka. I knew this because its what my mother drinks. He says " Take that fifth and crack it, you and me got some drinking to do." I do and take a big swig. It burns and tastes disgusting as it sears my throat. I immediately start to cough and hack. Laughing he walks over and takes it from me and up ends the bottle. Finishing with " Ahhh! That's better. I was actually getting stressed out over this. This always calms me down. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his zippo and a pack of Marlboros, he lights one, then passing them to me . I wave my hand and smle saying " You think I cough with vodka , I puke when I smoke." Taking a big drag he pauses, drops his head and then says while exhaling slowly and blowing smoke rings "That's cool at least you're honest. That's more than most can say." He starts to change into street clothes . Tight black jeans , white t-shirt and cowboy boots. He yanks a black leather biker jacket off the hook and waves to me saying "Come on, I'll take you to the bowling alley." He grabs what looks like a little black doctors bag and tosses the gun inside, zips it up and slams the locker , locks it and spins the dial all with one hand. He walks to the closest and grabs a big long chain and a lock.We walk out the font door and he chains it and locks it. So far so good I thought, then he passes the black bag to me and says "Here take this and act cool there are cops down there. Carrying any type of weapon on school grounds is a parole violation." O.k. great next time I think things are going good please remind me to shut up. Who am I talking to anyway? At the bottom of the hill there's a security guards' shack. Bobby goes in and hands him what looks to be a time card. Coming out he points to this super ccol awesome mint condition 1968 Black Camaro Z28RS. We walk over he gets in leans over and unlocks my side . He looks at me and motions with his head to toss the bag in back. I do and get in and shut the door carefully. He puts the key in and turns the engine over . It starts rumbling like Pavorottis stomach before a meal. I ask " What you got in there a 302?" He smirks and says " Does that sound like a 302 to you?" I turn my hands up and spread my arms saying " O.k. I took a guess , now you tell me then." Getting out of the car and popping the hood he motions for me to come. I jump out carefully shut the door and walk around to the open engine. He points saying " That my friend is a 383 cubic inch stroker, 475 horses of pure American muscle. 500 foot pounds of torque. Stock tranny and stock rear. Everything original, so what do you think?" Looking up at him feeling the vodka I say " Seems like one hell of a getaway car." He smacks me on my back and says " That it is. Tested tried and true." We get back in and we drive to the bowling alley. Not fast or dangerous, actually a little slow for my taste. As we pull in he parks and says " Listen you're a friend of the Banks family and all that entails. We watch each others back. I took a chance on you today. So what am I going to ask you?" I know and say " Keep what happens between us quiet. That means everybody including unc and even the tooth fairy." He reaches out his right hand and we wrap our hands around each other thumbs in a soul handshake and squeeze. Letting go he says " Go say hi to my baby brother. Stop by anytime you want to, you know where I'm at now so don't be a stranger." I get out and carefully close the door and wave goodbye. I run into the bowling alley and get some gum so unc won't smell the booze on me. I go over to the pinball machine and say " Hey Buddy" He nods slightly I continue" Guess who I hung out with today?" No response he keeps on playing. As I'm walking away I say " Your brother Bobby says hi by the way. He's a pretty cool guy." Buddy lets the ball drop and runs after me. saying "What the hell did you just say?" Stepping back I say " Your brother Bobby told me to say hi to you o.k.? Don't have a coniption fit" Buddy sees I'm serious and looks me straight in my eyes and says in an ice cold tone gritting his teeth "My brother Bobby died in prison over a year ago. Did this guy have black jeans , white t-shirt and drive.. " I cut him off saying " A black Z28 1969 Camaro. If he's not your brother then who was that guy." Looking like a trapped animal Buddy says really softly "His cell mate, John Smith, I got to go. Stay away from him you hear, he's dangerous as hell." An ice cold chill run down my spine, as I start to feel sick to my stomach.Oh wonderful!!... Part 2 tomorrow Goodnight. Jody

Could This Be "THE END"!!!

This is part 3 of the junior bowling series. Girls and bowling appeared almost simultaneously. I know what you're thinking and no Marylou and I were never romantically involved. What we were was one hellacious pair of bowlers from Westchester County. She was 3 years older and at that age it's a lot. We were friends and she was my ice cream and egg cream connection. I started hanging around the older men bowlers on weekends and bowling action matches. It wasn't my money, but I got a cut if I won. After school on Friday I would go to the bowling alley from school. I was allowed back on the bus finally. I would do my homework there and my mother would drop unc to keep an eye on me, pick up my homework then go to the city to meet my Dad. They returned around 2a.m. to bring us home. It was my favorite night of the week. The thing I loved about the bowling alley was that people of all races, ages, gender and economic background would gather to compete fiercely as equals. After they would celebrate each others efforts. I used to call it a social model for the U.N. There were literally bowlers from Yale to jail, all putting aside their preconceived notions of one another to join in the love of the sport. Now don't misunderstand me and think this was Disneyland or some other wholesome place to visit, it wasn't. It had all the problems and pitfalls of any blue collar enviroment. I grew up quickly here and made unc earn his money, so to speak. He would have done it for free, but it's how he would have put it. There are many stories from that time and place that will never leave my pen or lips. Enjoy the few I share, they were hard earned lessons in life, love and what it is to grow from a boy and be a man. One fateful day I went bowling on Saturday morning like always. There was a cool October chill in the air. I could feel it in my bowling ball which I left in the trunk from the night before. I got my hot chocolate from Vic at the snack bar and settled in to put my shoes on and cut tape for my thumb hole . It had become a ritual and was comforting before the intensity of match play. Then I hear "Saturday Bantem Junior League you may begin your 10 minute of practice." I started out with respectable 188, followed by a skillfully executed 212 with no misses and closed with an explosive 254. No one had ever bowled that much in the history of the league or the state for that matter. My picture and an interview were in the local paper. I received a special award from ABC(American Bowling Congress). This is when girls started paying attention to me. They always went through unc first. He would tell me to be careful because the waters ran deep and the current could be rough. I'm not one to kiss and tell so that's as far as that direction of this story will go. My social status was immediately raised from kid to respected bowler. There were many a time when unc and I capitalized on the fact that we looked like an old man and a young punk kid. People wanted to bowl for money and who were we to stand in there way. We averaged between $750-$1000 a weekend bowling action matches. Saturday night was moonlight bowling where the lights were out and the pins were colored, all of it under purple neon black light. There was an announcer who would entertain and call out money shots as colored pins would appear in front and other various combinations. Most of the good bowlers were busy drinking and carrying on, so they asked me to take all the money shots. If I made them they would split the money with me. There were also other things to do in the dark as a teenager. One weekend there was an away tournament with hundreds of bowlers competing for only 5 spots. This was for all of New England and a fairly prestigious event. Ironically first place was a certificate for $1000 to be used for college so as not to interfere with your amateur standing. What really impressed me was that all of the best bowlers from our lane went in support of me. It was held at a place called Byram Hills. It was off of the Sawmill River Parkway near to Elmsford. The format was different. There was no match play just high score of 16 games with no handicap. I started my fist throw with a split. As usual unc was disgusted and left for the remainder of the tournament. I bowled and bowled and didn't keep score or pay much attention. There was this very cute girl in very tight jeans with the word "THE END" embroidered on her rear end. Now days it's fairly common but in the 1970's it was a scandal. Parents shunned her, men oggled her and women were mean to her. Now I know I should have been paying attention and concentrating on my bowling, but this girl attached herself to me like a remora. She bought me sodas carried my bowling balls from lane to lane and sat on my lap between blocks of games. I kept looking for unc , but he was no where to be found. We talked and flirted and got to know one another. She would disappear and come back , it was a long afternoon and I was having a blast. In the middle of the last 4 block of games Buddy and Gary both in their mid 20's come running up to me and say "Jody come here we need to talk to you." I say " That's so cool, you guys came to watch thanks it means..." They cut me off as I was thanking them,. Oh well I thought, whatever at least they came. I started to go up to bowl and Buddy grabs me shakes me and says " Listen you little shit you're in a lot of trouble unless you pay close attention right fucking now! You hear me?" Gary echoes him with worse language. I say "I'm bowling decent and did you checkout the girl who is all over me? Wow, I mean wow!" Buddy says " We love unc and don't want to see him killed so do as we tell you!" Hearing this, thinking unc in danger,I drop everything and run towards the bar yelling" You fucking little pussies you left unc alone in there to die. If 1 hair on his head is even out of place, I'm making you fuckers my lifes work. Now let's go, come on!" I'm running and someone tackles me and I smash into the floor. It's Gary Roberts now kneeling on my chest with Buddy Banks coming up along side of him. He puts his hand over my mouth and I can't move or even breath for that matter . He says calmly" Fuckin' "A" little dude, I truly hope you're on my side the next time I get in a fight. Here's the deal snapperhead. That little piece of tail you're clinging to is married to a New York State Trooper, who is very jealous and obviously for good reason." Buddy jumps in" We were... , well never mind what we were doing. The bartender told us to watch out for her because she pulls this crap all the time. Since he's a cop nobody can touch him. Capeesh? Gary's going to let you up, don't speak, don't even fucking move or I will.. never mind what I 'll do. Just listen." Gary picks me up like a doll and puts me down and brushes me off. Then he says" How many games you got left?" Desperately I say "What about unc? How is he going to die? What does this have to do with him?" Like a 3 stooges episode they both slap me upside my head. I cringe and cover up. "Buddy?" " Yes Gary what is it?" "Didn't we both just tell him to shut the hell up?" "Why Gary I do believe you're right." " Yes and what did we say would happen to said person if they opened their fucking trap?" " If I'm not mistaken, I believe we were just a tad ambiguous on that particular point." "Yes I do believe you're right." I say "O.k. o.k. I get it. Ow! stop that." "We don't want to be ...? What's the word you used?" " Fucking little pussies?" " No silly! That was our dear friend Jody here who labeled us with such a moniker." "No I think the word I'm lookinig for is.... " Suddenly realizing "That little shit did say that didn't he?" " Yes , but in his defense he was in a justifiably agitated state." Seeing I was in a normal state again they returned to normal saying "Are you calm now and ready to listen ? If you are just nod." I did. "Here's our plan" Buddy began " We keep lookout for "The Ends' " hubby. You finish bowling and for uncs sake, for our sake and for gods sake please stay away from "The End" got it." Gary adds " You know what will happen if that guy comes after you don't you? Let us give you a little preview of what we think will occur." Buddy says " You're playing grab ass. Mr. I can't control my slut of a wife grabs you and starts to beat the ever loving piss out of you. Now here's the interesting part. Gary?" " Guess who comes running in with what I predict will probably be a knife, maybe a switchblade, to try and save your sorry ass?" Bowing my head and finally piecing it all together I say in a beaten voice "Unc will. You're right and nobody will be able to stop him. Then he either dies or the very least goes to jail and gets beat up in there." Buddy silently clapping hands in a prayer position says "By Jove I think he's got it old chap." In a sincere gesture I ask with my hands in a praying position "O.k. what do I do? " Gary points to Buddy who says " Gary will watch your back while you finish bowling. You keep your eyes either on your mark or on the floor. Think Mr. Allstate bowler can handle that?" I nod Gary says " Buddy will buy unc some drinks with money you'll pay back.." I interrupt sharply " No Buddy, no booze, bad, bad idea. You ever see him drink at the bowling alley? No! That's cause he's a mean ass drunk. o.k.?" Buddy nods saying " Good to know! O.k. then we all just huddle around here till you win this mother. You better win!" He slaps me on my head " I 'm getting unc now go bowl!"I go back to bowling and feel more protected than the president. "The End" comes smiling and waltzing up to me. Gary steps in front saying " I'm sorry Miss, but the bowling proprietor and tournament director have instructed me to keep you away from all participating bowlers" She twists her face in an ugly nasty way and says " Who the fuck are you? I do and go where I want and with who, so step off asswipe! The fucking nerve huh Jody?" I keep my eyes on the floor and say nothing. she repeats " Jody, did you hear me? This asshole won't let me near you." Gary very calmly says "Security? security please escort this woman from the bowlers sette area." Screaming " There is no fucking security in this dump. Get your hands off of me!" Suddenly 2 very huge black guys I know very well pick her up and carry her kicking and screaming out the fire exit which stars blaring ENH ENH ENH!! Everyone looks to see what's happening. Then loudly Gary and Buddy say " Nothing to see here folks go back to bowling sorry for the interruption." I finish the last 3 games without incident getting a high five for every strike and a " Yea buddy buddy!" for every string of strikes over 3. My last games were my best winning the block with 201, 224,246 for a new high 3 game series and a 3488 for all 16 games. Enough to not only win, but set a new tournament record. I look for unc. He's smilng and happy with James Gwatney and Jimmy Lee the "security team." They pick me up and toss me around like a sack of potatoes. Finally putting me down Jimmy Lee says "Yo! my man, I jest heard you wuz da living end!" Grinning I replied" Well guys, I must admit it was touch and go for a while, but it all worked out in "THE END". Cracking up we all laugh. Then I go off by my self and get down on my knees to thank god for protecting me and the ones I love. Appropriately this is also my bedtime prayer . So thanks for reading and keeping interest. The journey has just begun. Good night. Jody

Egg Creams,Hong Kong Phooey and Marylou Malinaro

This is part 2 of the bowling stories. Once again I take liberty with the order and time line in order to move the story along. Its goal is to entertain and capture the feel and essence of that period in my life. I will leave it up to you the reader to interpret what's real and what has been tweeked for poetic licenses' sake. As I'm writing these stories from the 2 perceptions of writer and character, I find each guiding the other in a journey to meet with an understanding of how the other ticks. I can feel the truth and vitality of my past seeping into the one who actually created it. It's as if the other holds a deeper understanding of what is really transpiring. This forges a necessary foundation in order for both to meet and respect each others life and the choices they made. If it sounds a bit confusing don't worry, it does to us as well. Let me remove my philosophers cap and put on my story telling one. Which I can assure you is much more comfortable and worn in. If I remember correctly I was in the car on the way to Friendly's telling my mother the tale of my first action match. My mother can accept and appreciate a certain amount of hyperbole as long as the seeds of truth are pure. It became sort of a game in order that I could tell my mother things I wouldn't otherwise be able to. She could see clearly through my curtain of embellishment. If we hit a snag she would somehow reach inside me to clarify. Looking at it now, I see she would allow me to exaggerate my stories as long as we both understood that if she sensed danger and asked I would answer accurately and without hesitation. This technique worked well for both of us most of the time. If I was with a group of kids that I knew would get me in a jam, I would plead in front of her as a cue to tell her to please get my silly ass out of there. It both preserved my teenage reputation and mutual trust of my mother and I. Unc however preferred things a bit simpler. As I got older and wilder and he had less and less control, he chained me with my own conscience by saying " Boy, you know the difference between fibbing and lying. You also know the diference between right and wrong. If you don't, I failed in teaching it to you and I'm truly sorry." This put the onus of responsibilty square on my shoulders at a fairly young age. Didn't I just say I was changing caps, hold on while I check to see if I'm wearing the right one. That's better, I can breath a little easier. That other cap was squeezing my poor little head way too tight. So we arrive at Friendly's ice cream restaurant. We sit down and this cute waitress comes to take our order. Her name tag says Marylou. I order for my mother and myself and tell Marylou to please give unc a bit more time to think it over . Unc glares at me and puts his hand on Marylous' arm saying " Plese don't pay attention to this little weed over her. I just haven't gotten around to prunning it yet. listen chile, just bring me what you think an old man like me would like and I'm sure it'll be jest fine." The brightest most beautiful smile bursts forth from her lovely face and in a mock professional tone she answers" And what would sir like to drink with that." Unc matches her smile and says "Why don't you bring me cup of joe the same color as me and a Hudson river special straight up." Marylou looks confused and is thinking, while unc covers his face from us and whispers to her "A glass of water no ice please" She puts her arm on uncs shoulder and say " I see I'm going to have fun with those jokesters in the kitchen. They're always telling names of orders that I don't know." Unc sits there with his listening face on as she opens up and tell him all about her life and dreams. He doesn't say even one word justs nods and smiles. Realizing she's been going on for quite a while she stops and puts her hands on her hips saying " You just gonna let me stand here spilling my guts. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." Unc responds with an uncharacteristic round of kikikiki(the song of his laugh). She leaves and Mama looks at unc and says " Old man you're dangerous and shameless, you know that?" unc still grinning says"if you say so Miss Ruth if you say so" My mother starts to laugh which is similar to a horse whinnying. Then she says "Well I do and you are you heart breaker you." I can tell unc is blushing because his skin is turning a dark burgandy color. He swats his hand at her saying " I'm just having a little fun is all." my mother smiles and winks saying "As am I Mr. Jones as am I." Our food comes and as always it's an orgy of delicious grease and heavenly sent sweets. The only reason I even eat is to experience the tasty ice cream floats and egg creams they serve here. The rule is no real food no goodies. No room for discussion on this topic. Satiated with our repast we pay and head home. I get up at 6am to start getting ready for my first day of Bantem League Bowling. I eat, shower put my bowling bowl in the car and sit down to watch my favorite cartoon Honk Kong Phooey. I don't know if anyone remembers this show , but I loved it. It starred Catman Scruthers as the voice. If you want to know more about Hong Kong Phooey check lnk-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hong_Kong_Phooey
We arrived at the bowling alley at 7:45am and Pearl Keller was waiting. She introduced herself, then her and my mother filled out forms for me to bowl. It was a singles league and you bowled 1 game and moved on to the next player. You would get 1 point per match and a point for high game and series. I bowled reasonably well for my first time. Anytime someone bowled over 200 they would announce it. Like congratulations to Marylou Malinaro for bowling a 215. Hmm that name sounded familiar. I switched lanes and low and behold there was the beautiful waitress from Friendly's. Was she Marylou the bowler? Yep she was, it seems she was the best bowler for her age in New York State. Wow! Cute and talented, what a combo. She puts her ball on the rack and organizes her stuff for this match. Unc comes over to me and says " Boy, that little finger your thinking with ain't gone do you a damn bit of good. Pay attention or I'm going to the bar to watch t.v. and have a beer This girl right here is going to mop the floor with you if you don't get that doey eyed look off your face. You hear me?" This got me mad, because .. well because he was right damn it! I take a wire brush and scrape my shoes to get ready for the match against Marylou. We have 2 practice shots on each lane Marylou only takes 1 and sits down with her arms crossed like I was keeping her waiting. My first shot goes in the gutter. My second goes in the gutter. Oh my god what must she be thinking of me? I see unc shaking his head and walking away. Oh great now what? The speaker comes on and says "Saturday Bantem bowlers begin bowling." Marylous' name is already on the screen the score keeper looks at me and says" Your name?" I say " Jody with a y not an I." Marylou lets her first shot go and the ball looks like the Tazmanian devil going down the lane. right to the gutter and then what? It come tearing back to the pocket and cutting through the pins like a buzz saw! O.k. my turn pick up the bowl put your fingers in it get set. Push away let it drop count 1-2-3-4 wait for the weight of the ball at the bottom of the .. Oh shit it's off my hand and oh no please not in the gutter again. Great walk back like it's not important. I get set, go the next ball gets off my hand a little better and leaves 9. Marylou is waiting as I walk back. Ignoring me she slides by me to the ball return and starts her routine. The ball looks like it's going in the gutter and then without signaling it makes a left turn and Blammo! Another crushing strike! That's a double for her o.k. I go and get a Jersey lucky strike. She hasn't even looked at me . All right that's it! This bitch is toast. I sure amm brave when I talk in my head. I stand waiting to throw my next shot and I stay behind it and down at the line. Crack! A ringing 7 pin. O.k. that was at least a decent shot She hurls a swishing strike for a triple. I make my spare. Next shot I get set and unleash an godly ball with great rotations and Blammo! See I can do it too. Crack she leaves a 10 pin and misses it Oh my god! She is human. I'm up and Blammo another flush strike in the pocket. She goes and bang another 10 pin This one she makes and looks relieved. I strut to get my ball, shake my self loose and toss another nice shot for damn! another ringing 7 pin. She gets her ball and crack another 10 pin. She makes the spare. I set myself and let it fly and oops I tugged it, hold on, oh no, crunch 4-6-7-10 split. Ahh Why me? It was a bad shot . o.k. pick up 2 that's good. She strikes on the next 2 shots and I spare. It's the 9th and the foundation frame for the T-box. I throw and get lucky with a trip 4 pin for a strike she goes and boom! Oh my god an 8pin.Wow ! That was rough.Damn! She doesn't even blink. What a little studette. O.k. that's enough , now I'm routing for her? No I don't think so. She spares. If I throw the first one in the 10th It's all over. I set up, swing and unleash the best shot of my life. I turn around and walk back before the ball hits. Deliberately not looking at it. A la unc! Blammo I don't look up or at her I go make the next shot and bam 7pin I miss the pick up but it's all over I won. I hear "Congratulations Jody Shultz for a 208 game." Marylou walk up to me and says " From Friendly's right? You were with that nice man and your mom? I stand there dumbstruck and barely get out " Yup, uh huh" She then says " It's nice to have another good bowler. Walking away she turns and says "You know, that's the last time you'll ever beat me don't you?" She winks and laughs and walk right into unc. I let out a laugh and cover my mouth to keep from cracking up more. I'm tempted to say " Smooth exit Marylou" but I don't. Her and unc are talking and he goes off with her to watch her next match. I stand there and say "Hey unc, what gives?" and throw my arms out to the side. " What am I chop liver?" Nobody hears me. Ok. I better get my gear. I have one more match to bowl. I bowl 180 not bad and a 550 series . I'm happy with that. Even more happy I beat the legend and heart thob. Marylou Malinaro, It's just music to the ears isn't it? I in all sincerity would like to give a shout out to Pearl Keller who is in the Bowling hall of fame for service and promoting the sport. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't still be bowling today . Thanks you're a wonderful lady. I thank my readers too. See you tomorrow Good night.