Return to Paradise,Mounting The Horse And Coagulating Ones Feces

                                              

 Today was a long strange journey. It began with trying in vain to reconcile an erratic sleeping pattern. The seductive allure of living as a night owl began to prevent me from enjoying the ability to join the day walkers club. I write this in the disoriented state of all day travel and time change, Forgive my clumsy tangents as I attempt to gain some familiar footing in order to launch this inward trek via the pen. My surroundings share an odd contradiction of being both familiar and foreign simultaneously. This brings me to the question of what is the nature of connectedness, place and perspective. The idea of different locals evoking different persona spark a curiosity. The weight of who and what I am here in Cozumel strike an interesting juxtaposition to who I am in New York. Since I am in transition I can better observe these incongruities of character. Today's jaunt examines the mental atrophy that accompanies inactivity and perpetual television watching. Having the mixed blessing of an addictive nature I find myself emerging from a progressive 3 month self deluding bender involving non stop consumption of mainstream media. Even now as I write this I shake the thoughtless sucking pull of desire to surf and watch some more. If it weren’t for the obvious symptoms of self loathing and total denial I would still be watching every episode of every banal series available, without a discerning blink of self respect. I find myself at an all too familiar bottom where all my options have been exhausted. This is the first step to alter the direction that emptied my mind and body of its crucial nourishment. Vicariously living through any distraction distances ones essence from its source. I am rounding a ten year milestone of sobriety from drugs and alcohol. {Consider this a side bar, through the dubious advances in technology I find myself given an opportunity of continuing my writing regardless of interruption or venue. And for this I apologize.}
                                                PART 2
   Here begins today’s journey of practice and application. For the last several hours I’ve been studying and learning how to use the latest version of “Word.” Sometimes in life too many options can act like the centipede becoming paralyzed while thinking about what foot to place next. I’ve heard it said “When you refuse to learn the next generation of technology it’s a decision to abandon hope of keeping pace with society. It may also be a sign of realizing when enough is enough. Cozumel is beginning to work its magic on me as I exhale and stop the incessant flood of fear and anxiety that wrinkles my every thought. I never realized just how much stress and fear are bombarding one with every marketing encounter. Be it legal, health or other related. Here the main influx of fear is generated via good old fashion gossip and broken telephone. For those not acquainted with this sociological marvel, allow me to illuminate you. It’s the age old party favorite of whispering something to the person next to you and then having it pass around the group finally to hear the ultimate distorted product of miscommunication. Topics that are fresh on my mind include the election, air travel and in office surgical procedures. I’ll begin with the election. Before I returned I voted as an absentee ballot. In order to do this I went down to 200 Varick St. If you’ve never done this it’s definitely an unexpected adventure. Prior to this I called and verified all the particulars I needed in order to make this journey a successful one. I had a filled out absentee request form and my voter i.d number. Now fearing I might not be registered I reregistered because there was no discernable way to see if I was or not. It turned out that I had two numbers which one might consider good news since as a rule two are usually better than one except in marriage, felony convictions and final days to live. Be that as it may the story went like this. Upon entering this Babel like tower of security and pandemonium my partner and I were fortunate enough to  be herded  into an archaic elevator and escorted up to the 8th level of bureaucratic hell. Our tour guide was a frustrated reject from an amateur stand up competition. Upon egress from our vertical chariot we were handed off to a gigantic colorful gentleman wearing a hub capped sized diamond encrusted letter "A" and a camouflage bullet proof vest. Let's refer to him as Amadeus. He marched us into what can only be aptly described as a detaining room filled with an international mix that would rival the U.N.. Amadeus, our commander in charge, was as well intentioned an individual as I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He was swamped with question after question and never given a chance to answer. Finally he just raised his hands and surrendered to the ensuing tsunami like wave of chaos that inevitably engulf us. Normally I’m crippled with the ugly and all too common social disorder of extreme impatience. The valiant efforts of commander Amadeus and his ultimate demise inspired a memorial motivated sentiment to rally forth my best and bravest efforts to be patient in his wake. Replacing him was a sad little dungeon master who bears no name except “he who still lives at home with his mother.” His substantial lack of physical stature was only overshadowed by his obvious misanthropic disdain for those he supposedly volunteered to serve. If it were not for the irony I would have felt duty bound to remind our uncivil servant of his obvious obligations. Instead  I took it upon myself to rise to the occasion and lighten the spirits of those stalwart constituents who sacrificed time and sanity to exercise their municipal right to cast a ballot of hope. After watching those who arrived after me get their ballots and vote did I even consider venturing forth to pose a query as to what might be the problem. Fortunately I steered my inquiry to a man who could pose as a contemporary double of Ron Glass from Barney Miller. His keen investigative skills discovered a glitch in the system because of a previous absentee vote I had sent from Cozumel in the prior presidential election. So as it turns out it was to be my last minute voter registration which allowed me to finally help extricate mankind from the strangle hold our current fascist regime.

Mr. Magoo,Garden Parties With A Twist Of Drama And A Lesson In Diffusing A Mad Scotsman

One week from today I'll be writing from New York.This reminds me of the very first time I went to the city apartment. This was in 1976. I had plans to see the very first American gymnastics cup, which was to take place in Madison Square Garden. It was a weekend and I caught a train from Mt. Kisco to go to Grand Central Station. I arrived around 7 and from there I took the shuttle to Time Square. In my mind the address was 10W 45th St. apt. # 3D. So I walked up from Time Square, which was at this time quite a bit different from what it is now.Being as this was my old stomping ground as a 10year old, I began to wonder why our apartment was in the middle of a ghetto.Time Square was indeed unique. It was wall to wall hookers and sex shops. In between these were hustlers playing 3 card Monty and chess. Needless to say there was quite a bit of crime here. It was late and some very unsavory characters were milling about 10W 45th St.. My street sense told me this was not the place to be at this time of night and alone. If you remember  the movie "Taxi" with Robert Deniro, you'll have a good idea of what it look and felt like. I returned to a more poulated block and found a pay phone to call home. My mother answers and I explain that I'm downstairs and add "Just what the hell are we doing here?" To which she responds "Don't be a snob. This is one of the best blocks in Manhattan." I answer " So you're telling me that 10W 45th St is one of the nicest blocks in Manhattan." My mother answers "Where are you again?" I repeat the address. She then proceeds to say "My dear child, we happen to live on 45W !0th St. in Greenwich Village. I recommend you extract yourself from that den of inequity long enough to come see your new home. We will be on the roof at a welcome spring garden party." Feeling a little foolish and put out at this comedy of errors I quickly walked back to the #1 subway and went down to where we still live today. Getting off at 12th st & 7 th Ave. I walk east and south to ny new home.I start to go in and am stopped by a very drunk looking janitor. He wants to see identification. In my politically correct and inimitable fashion I reply "I just moved here and am going up to the roof for the garden party. If you think that I am an intruder, please be my guest and gamble with fate to see whether or not you get your ass handed to you bucko! Now step aside" I proceed past him and get in the elevator as his shock begins to dissipate. The doors close just in time to protect me from Mcpurple janitor man. I push the button for the penthouse and proceed to climb the fire stairs up to the roof. The view is spectacular and I hear the typical murmur of a large group of people enjoying wine and cheese. I see my mother holding a glass of wine and listening to a group of people. I wave and I see her face look alarmed as our silent miming communication continues. I raise my eye brows and open my hands in a gesture of "What's wrong?" Before she can answer I'm grabbed from behind and spun around as the Scottish janitor say "Come heya yuh leetle foccker. I gotcha now. Time to take out  the trash laddy boy .Come on let's go." I'm breaking his hold on me and am grabbed by someone else from another direction. I swing my arm saying "Nice welcome. After I finish with Mr. Magoo over here I'll deal with the rest of you froggy fucks waiting to jump." My mother takes her wine and pretends to trip spilling it all over the over zealous superintendent trying to eject me. In a very concerned voice she says "Oh you poor dear look at what I've gone and done. Here let me try to get that stain out for you." She takes her napkin and begins to dab as she turns to me saying "Jody would you be so kid to run and get some club soda and salt." In complete and utter shock and confusion the row which was coming to boil died as quickly as it started. I return and see everyone fussing around my mother and the Super. The gist of it went something like this: "Mr. Macgonigal I would like to introduce my soon to grounded for life son Jody. I apologize usually he isn't like this, but that's no excuse for bad manners. Young man you apologize and go help Mr Macgonigal with whatever chores he deems appropriate." His face returning to its normal beet red color he says "No ma'am that won't be necessary I didn't know he lived here. It's just that he walked bright by me and was very rude to me." Knowing that I created all of this I said "Mr. Macgonigal I'm sorry. I truly am. I just came from 10W 45th St. thinking it was here and was confronted with a few rude people myself. I apologize sincerely. My mother putting one arm around both of us says "Now gentlemen who would be kind enough to bring me a nice glass of Chardonnay." The super looks at me and says "You heard your mother." Fighting with every ounce of self control I nod and don't roll my eyes as I go to get both of us some goodies from the spring roof top party.Coming back with the wine and cheese I hand one to my mother and another to the Super who waves it off like he never touches the stuff. 'Yeah right'  I go shake hands with him as he squints his eyes letting me know this is far from over and to watch my step. I turn back to my mother and say "Well at least everyone knows who I am now." Smirking she answers "Yes my son the keeper of the silver cloud lining. How fortunate I have you to brighten up any occasion. We'll talk about this later young man." I try to say something and she cuts me off with her hand. I sneak enough wine to get a buzz and stuff my face with hors d'eouvres.We say our goodbyes and we walk down stairs to the elevator. I say "Mama I know started it but he's drunk and obnoxious." She smile and says 'So you felt it the best course of action was to insult and antagonize him in oder to win him over.Was that your strategy?" I bow my head and confess "I was frustrated and in a hurry. He was just in my way. I was in a foul mood." The doors to the elevator open as she ruffles my hair saying "To tell you the truth it was dreadfully boring until you showed up. Not that I want you to continue this behavior." She reaches into the chasm of mystery she refers to as her 'bag' and retrieves a bouquet of keys that would make a lock smith take notice. There's a round circular key to undo the dead bolt and three more complicated locks below that. Finally opening it she bows and waves her hand for me to enter saying "Welcome home weary traveler. This is it." Thanks Jody

The Lesser Of Two Evils

My mother returned alone. I ask "Where's Lori?" She answers "You two make quite the pair. She risks going to jail just so she can go to the prom with you. Why didn't you tell me about this?" In shock I answer "Because I had no idea she had plans of breaking out and coming down. Did you meet her mother?" She smiles and says "We had a nice long talk and everything is calm for the time being. She really thinks highly of you.Why didn't you mention your little trip upstate? Never mind , I don't I think want to know."  I ask "Mama, I asked another girl to the prom. What should I do?" Shaking her head she replies "Tread carefully where others peoples feelings are involved.."  I ask "So was anything resolved? I mean, can Lori stay until the prom?' She smiles and says "That all depends on you and how you plan on handling it." I ask warily : "Meaning what exactly?" She looks har in my eyes and says  "What do you think I mean by that?" I say "Promise not to have sex with her, stay out of trouble and work on my college applications essays." My mother smiles and says "Yes you got it exactly. On the first try even, very impressive." I ask "May I call her at her home?" She turns and walks away.Mr's Zaccardi answers "Hello?"?"  I say “Hey it’s Jody. How are you?” She replies “Better now that my little delinquent is safe and sound. I read you’ve been the busy little bee. Nice photos of you in the Patent Trader.” I say “Thanks, It’s been a long season. Is Lori around?” Mrs. Z. says “Just how do you mean that young man? I hope not in terms of that cute little nick name you’ve drummed up for her.” I answer “No and has your daughter shared with you her loving and affectionate nick name she refers to me by?” She answers “No, of course she didn’t get to that part of it. What pray tell has my delicate little desert flower dubbed you?’” I reply “Loser, Just plain loser. Not very imaginative if you ask me.” Mrs. Z Answers “Yes and lump is quintessentially clever isn’t it?” Ii say “Point taken. Is you precious wild flower receiving visitors today?’ She answers “I have no idea what her intentions are. But you know you’re welcome here anytime. I think she’s out buying a prom dress.” I say “I’ll see you this afternoon Mrs. Z.” She answers “Angela please calls me Angela.” I reply “O.k. Angela see you later then.”  I decide to summon the courage and call Theresa “Mrs. Semproni answers and I ask “May I please speak to Theresa? This is Jody.” I wait a few minutes and she answers “Yes this is Theresa.” I say “Hi Theresa It’s Jody.”  She says “Oh, hey Jody what’s up?” I say “Listen I have a problem and I want to talk about it with you.” She says “Sure. What’s up?”  I begin “Theresa, do you remember my girl fiend Lori?” She says “Oh, that’s what this is about. Yeah I saw her today when I went shopping for s dress. She picked out a really nice one. In fact we were trying them on together.” Feeling not so comfortable I blurt out. “Theresa, I didn’t ask her. She just showed up at sectionals last night saying she broke out to com to prom.” “Theresa laughs and says “What am I supposed to do with my dress?” Thinking to myself I wish I was anyone but me right now. I say “Look Theresa I’ll do whatever you decide. I asked you to go and you where kind enough to say yes. We’re friends I owe you that at least.” She says “Would you hold on for a second please?” I say “Sure.” She returns saying “Jody, there’s somebody here who wants to talk to you.” I say “She doesn’t happen to be short and round does she?” Someone else answers “Listen loser I wouldn’t g to the prom with you if you paid me. Theresa is way to good for you. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just disappear.” Theresa comes back o the line and says ”Look we are friends so let’s stay that way and I’ll see you at our lockers like usual. Is that o.k. with you that I don’t go to the prom? You guys should try an work this out. You both obviously care about one another. Besides I’m a junior it’s really no big deal for me.” I reply “Thanks Theresa I think I will end up regretting this decision. But you’re really a sweet heart.” She says “That’s what all the boys say. Good Luck” We hang up and I go sit at the table where Unc is having coffee. He’s reading the paper and I say “Unc, What do you think I should do about this prom thing?”  Unc just looks at me for a moment and returns to reading his paper. That means I should figure it out for myself. I sit there with him having a bowl of Captain Crunch. Maybe removing the skin from the roof of my mouth will uncover the answer. Mama comes over and sits with us. She says “Jody you may not want to hear this, but there isn’t always a neat clean answer for messy things in life. All you can do sometimes is pick the lesser of two evils” I just listen and continue to feel hopeless. She adds “There are people who would love to have the problems you have right now. One day you’ll look back and say ‘I wish things were this simple now.’” I get up to go shower and sarcastically say as I leave “Well thanks for all the help. My options just seems so much clearer now.” Showered and dressed  I jump in my Mustang and think Well Daiseybell at least we have each other. I drive to the flower shop and buy 2 big bouquets of flowers and write notes to both girls The first: Dear Theresa; Thank you so much for being understanding and being a friend. Some guy will be very lucky to find you. I owe you one Feel free to call it in whenever. It has no expiration date. .Your Friend and locker neighbor Jody The second one: Dear Lori; For whatever reason we are in this situation together. I know you know that I love you. We agreed to live out lives and make room when we could because of our situation. I’d love to take you to prom, but not at the expense of who I am. I’ll be at the bowling alley all day. Love Jody I dropped both of these bouquets at their respective doorsteps and headed to the one place where the rules made sense. I sat at the snack bar and talked to Julie. She seemed both amused and entertained by my predicament. Finally she says “Come on let’s go out back and burn one it make all this that much funnier.” I followed her and we smoked a joint and laughed about anything and everything. Coming back in she fixed us lunch and we pigged out on grilled cheese and tuna sandwiches, French fries with gravy and chocolate egg creams.  I kept her company until I started feeling a little normal again.  I got up to go get a lane and bowl, when I saw Lori walking towards me. I ran and gave her a hug and kiss and pulled her to introduce her to Julie. It seems they knew each other from previous encounter. I’d have to find out about this later. Lori I ask “May I talk to you in private?” Julie excuses herself to go do something in the back. I take Lori’s hand and walk her to the bar where we sit at a table by the window. The bartender comes and asks "Jody would you and the lovely lady like to have two “Tenpin Specials?” I say “Thanks Hank that would be awesome.” Lori looks at me and I raise my hand saying “Cool your jets woman you’re n my hood now so be cool. Besides you like beer don’t you?” Lori leans forward and asks “So how was the coony?” I pointed to my head demonstrating I didn’t have anymore and that it was already there. She adds “Don’t worry I have plenty of my own. I just never knew you smoked.” I shrug and say “When I want to be distracted from what’s bothering me I do.” There beers come and Lori goes to pay. Hank holds up his hand and says “For our resident stud they’re on the house. Congratulations Jody.” I say “Thanks Hank” He leans in to me and whispers “Nice rack on her man. Wait at least a couple of hours before you drive o.k.?” So we sip our beers and Lori begins by “Look I have a confession to make. I didn’t just come down for the prom. My mom's sick and is going through chemo I have a months pass to help take care of her. Do you think Julie would front you an ounce?” I say “What make you think she deals?” She smiles and winks saying “Who do you think taught me how to boost cars?” I’m surprised and say “Her? Julie?” Lori shakes her head and says “No, her brother Junior.”  We used to go out for a while before you and I. Julie wasn’t to happy about her brother dating me. She seems smitten with you though. Have you guys been together?” I say “Lori please that’s none of your business. I don’t ask about you and Junior do I?” She replies “You can if you want. We had 2 kids together. His mom takes care of out love children until I’m old enough to take them myself. I think that's why she isn’t so happy with me.” I shake my head and say   ”You’re a freak you know that? Tell me about your mom. Is she going to make it?” Lori shrugs and says “Who the hell knows I am not a doctor. She’s meaner than a snake. She seems to like you though.” I answer “It’s because we’ve been lovers since you’ve left.” Lori smiles, takes a big swig of beer in a red plastic cup and says “We’ll at least one of us is getting a little action.” I wave to Hank to give us 2 refills and toss him my car keys. He smiles and “Coming right up Romeo. Glad to see you follow the rules. You’re going to thank me one day for this.” I walk over and lay down a twenty saying “Let me start thanking you today.” In a fake Irish accent he goes “Oh Laddy you shouldn’t an gone and done that now. I’m just a humble bah keep.But I tank ya jest da same.” I say “Don’t quit your day job just yet Hank.” I go over to the to snack bar and ask “Julie, you think you  could get me an order of pie ala mode to go please?” She looks over at Lori and then me and says “In the back buster now.” I walk back with her and she puts her hands on her hips and says “Please tell me you’re not going out with the likes of her now.” I say   “Julie, yeah I am. You know she was away for that job with the lawyers Corvette. We’ve been writing and flirting for over a year now. She’s down to take care of her mom. I wondered if you would do it for me.” She shake her head and grabs my face and kisses me “You and those damn green eyes. It’s like the devil's in them and I just can’t say no. I’ll tell you one thing you watch the counter while I go fetch your stash.” I go tell Lori to stay put and wait while I watch the snack bar.  She nod and blows me a kiss. Julie comes back and hands me a paper bag and whispers to me “$90 because that’s Panama Red and the best around enjoy it. When you going to pay?” I say “Maybe tonight no later than tomorrow I promise.” I go back over to Lori tapping my coat pocket and say “This is for your mom right?” She nods and I say hold on “I call Angela and say “Hey, I’m here with your daughter and before I do something stupid I want to ask you if you wanted an ounce of really good pot. Lori told me you were sick and that it might help you.”  Angela’s quiet for a minute and says “From you I trust. How much?” I say “$90 an ounce. It’s Panama Red. I barely smoke at all. So if you want it I got it.” She says “Jody thanks. One more thing, I know my daughter and if you do sleep with her please use birth control for both of your sakes.” I say “You got it Angela, see you in a few.” I go back to Lori and say  “Ready, let’s go bring this to your Mom.” Standing up and looking mad she says “Is that who you just called? You know you’re just a little too goody two shoes for my taste. What you don’t trust me?” I answer “Trust has to be earned. Let’s start by doing the right thing now and giving this to your mother. You trusted me enough to ask for it. Trust me enough to bring it to her and not embarrass you.” Still frowning she says “Whatever let’s go.” 

.  I say  “Come with me for a minute.” I walk over and ask “Hank may I have my keys back? Hank says “Sure thing Jody. Who is this beautiful young lady?” I say “Her name is Lori and I’m trying to talk her into going to the prom with me. So far I’m not sure if it’s going as well as I’d like.” Hank says “Lori is it?” Lori says “That’s right”  Hank says “Well Lori it seems to me you could do a damn sight worse than my buddy Jody over here. So what do you say you cut my poor homely friend here a break and make him your escort for this magical evening?” Lori laughs saying “Well since you put that way alright I will Hank. We don’t want him crying in his soup now do we?” Hank says “No lass I suppose you’re right about that. So then you too have a wonderful evening and don’t be strangers. Oh and one more thing lass. Please don’t go breaking this boys heart it’s fragile as it is.” Lori says “I’ll do my best not to Hank.” Hank says “Well you can’t ask for anymore than that can you?”  We go out to the car and it’s the first time Lori has driven in the new Daiseybell. I walk around and let her in. Before I get in she reaches over to unlock the door and I start her up. I look over at her and say “So what do you think?” She smiles and says "Sounds like the little lady packing a few more horses than last time." I floor it and show her a little of what she's capable of. Lori switches on the radio and a song by Jeffferson Starship is playing. . It’s called “With your love” Still till this day this song brings back vivid memories of that time. If you want to her the song click on the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyp0f8L5nd4 We fly around town and finally park by the lake at Leonard park. This song becomes our song. After we go to her  house to drop off the medicine for Angela. Lori goes to her room and shuts the door. I stay out and talk to Angela about her illness and what has been going on since we last talked. it seems she has permission and isn't a.w.o.l. I ask  "So what did you and my mother talk about?" She smile and says "Nice try. It's between us so stay out of it." I raise my hands in defense saying "O.K. I surrender." We watch Star Trek together. I knock on her door to say goodbye and to make ure I should get prom tickets etc.. Long story short We did go to the prom. It was like most any other prom. We had a good time and she went back to jail to finish out her sentence. Mrs. Z made a full recovery.Well this concludes this series of stories. Thanks for reading and Good night. Jody

Snapping out of it, A lift and Return of the lump

I am going to briefly go over what happened up to this next story. We won everything, yet somehow it was hollow after Steve's death. I think a part of me was wrestling with the inescapable fact that I had lost my innocence when it came to the dangers of this sport. Our quest to beat Yorktown and Vinny Savastano came to fruition. He even petitioned to have another championship to give him second chance. We beat them and set a new team state record .We were heroes in school and I should have been on top of the world. All we had left was the individual qualifications. I blew the first 3 events and was just about put out of the running. When we had a break in the rotation due to an excess number of athletes qualifying. John was on top of the world and looked like a shoe in to win the all around. I was sitting in the corner when I hear the familiar slapping of work boots approaching . I look up to see none other than John Lawler. He reaches down and gives me a hand up saying  "Come with me."  He walks to the fire exit and motions with his head for me to follow him. I run to put my sneakers on like flip flops with the backs smashed down, check to see if anyone is looking and scoot out the back with Lawler. He takes out a pack of Camels taps two out and offers me one I say " No thanks John I'm good." He tilts his head sideways letting his long hair cover half of his face. He sweeps it back over his head and says "I'm not asking. Light that baby up, we got some talking to do." I take the cigarette and lean in to the tiny bright orange light. Exhaling John says  "Do you remember my last year in this meet?" I shake my head no. He continues " You're god dam right you don't because I screwed the pooch and blew my last chance in high school." He takes another deep drag and I copy him. I say " Believe me I know I messed up here and that it's basically over for me." Lawler takes his cigarette out with his left hand and grabs me with his right pushing me into the wall of the brick building. Just as I hit he flicks his cigarette at my face. Snapping my head to the side I quickly dodge it as it explodes behind me raining sparks all over me. They burn but I don't move. Lawler gets in my face and I can smell beer on his breath. He says  "Where the fuck are you hiding in there? Poor baby lost his friend and didn't make states what a fucking pussy. You make me sick. I can't believe I wasted gas money and a night out  to come watch this travesty. Listen up wit, you got 3 events left 1 of them being rings. If you blow this meet, I'm coming down and whooping your ass in front of all these nice people, your pathetic parents and your little black friend too. If you think I'm playing take a look in my eyes." With that he pulls me off the wall and pushes me towards the fire door. As I'm about to go in he grabs me by the collar and says in my ear " You might want to leave the cigarette outside star." I drop the butt and go back in. I go to put my shoes away and a slow heat starts to build in my chest. It feels familiar. Where do I know this feeling? My hands begin to shake and I start getting  goose bumps all over my body and shiver. There's the announcement for the meet to start again. I'm up on vaulting. I raise my hand and notice I'm not nervous or scared. I'm fucking pissed off and mad. Then with a little hop I start to run pumping  my elbows back as my knee drive forward. I continue to lean and pick up speed. My steps are right as I hurdle to the board. I explode out of my legs as I lean forward and drive my heels behind me and over my head. My hands jam into the horse as I'm blocking to rebound off with my arms. I squeeze every muscle and wait for just a microsecond before I pull my right arm straight down as if I'm ripping a giant piece of papaer.I can feel the resistance from centrifugal force. At the same time I pull my left arm straight behind my left ear and look up at it. I feel my body roll smoothly as I twist and flip in the air. Seeing the front of the room come around again I break out of the twist by pulling both arm simultaneously out to a swan dive position. I get ready to feel for the floor as I descend. I land with half of my foot on the crash mat and half on the gym floor. I don't move an inch. I just stuck the best vault of my life. I turn to the judge and look him straight in the eye and almost dare him to give me a bad score. My team runs and picks me up as the score of 9.3 is flashed. Holy shit the vault is only worth a 9.4. Good,one down two more to go. I can do this. Next comes Parallel bars. I wait for another 15 minutes until it's my turn . I look at the judge and salute with a slight grin. I run and jump on the board and fly to grab the bars in front of me.As soon as my hands touch I push my ass back and quickly fold into a very deep pike. I accelerate beneath the bars as I throw and release them behind me extending my legs. I fly for a moment and my pull my arms down in front to grab the bars again as I rise above them. I swing a pirouette  to set up in a handstand. I do my two big support swing skills. Then I drop under the bar and fly back up to land on my upper arms bent near the arm pit. I kick out and swing down with a beat to elevate me up so I can straddle and bring my legs to an L seat. A press to handstand  and I dismount to a perfect landing.I turn to the judge and bow. My score is an 8.9 my best so far. Now just rings and this baby is done. Mergardt asks " Jody who do you want to lift you to the rings?" It's my choice. I answer "Please go up in the stands and get Lawler.I want him to lift me." I  now go though my pre-ring mental prep. Which is basically getting as mad as I can . I am steaming and ready to tear someones head off. I walk to the rings as Lawler grabs around my waist to lift and still me. As he stills me he says "This ones for Steve,and all those who didn't get a chance to be here tonight. Now rock this fucker and show them who owns these rings." I barely remember the routine. I felt as light as a feather and was rock steady. I heard thunderous applause as I do my trick where It looks like I miss an iron cross. Just before I collapse I squeeze my lats and snap the rings into a perfect cross. After about 2 seconds I lift my head smile and wink. I swing through till I'm in a handstand. I bail for the dismount and am flying as I toss the rings behind me and do a double back somersault with perfect form to a stuck landing. Before I can even lift my arms Lawlers has me off of the ground and is squeezing me in a bear hug. The crowd gives a standing ovation and Lawler still won't let me breath as I hover above the crowd in his arms. I raise my arms and wave, He lets me down and says  "Welcome back. That's who I drove all the way from Connecticut to see." It turns out I won the all around by .1 tenth of a point. As Lawler goes to leave I break away from everyone and run to him and say "Thank you John. I had no idea what was wrong until you woke me up." He shakes his long hair and say " Wooah Wit, don't act like we're friends all of a sudden. Cause we ain't. Later man." He is walking away and he turns to look over his shoulder and says "I left a little present in your gym bag. And do me a fucking favor; call before you come up to Southern.."  I see him shake his head to get his hair how he wants it and then he's gone. It's like I'm in a dream a really good dream.  I run to see my family. Before I get there Mergardt asks "Jody, may I talk to you for a minute?" . I say "Sure". He says " I want you to feel free to say no. I 'm asking for John because he won't ask for himself. If you give up the all around spot and just go on Parallel bars John will be able to take your place." I looked hard into his eyes and said  "O.k.just answer me one question." he says "Sure shoot." I say looking right into his soul "If the tables were turned, would you be over there asking John to give up his spot for me? The truth coach tell me the truth."  He bows his head, thinks and turns to walk away.Part of me is hurt. part is offended, but I'm not letting anything spoil this night. As I run up the bleacher steps to see my family, I hear my name called " Hey Shultz you loser, Remember  me?" I turn to see a girl with her hands on her hips feigning offense. I say "Hello Lump!" I go to hug her and drag her like the first time to meet my family. Lori says "Hi everyone I'm Lori in case you forgot about me." My mother waves her over for a hug. She leans up and gives Unc a kiss on his cheek. She turns to my dad and says "Who are you?" I see this starting off on the wrong foot. I say "Dad, this is my friend Lori. I went to school with her until she moved upstate.." My Dad smiles and says "Nice to meet you Lori.How long are you here for?" Lori prickles and says "Why are you trying to get rid of me already?What am I not good enough for your son?" My dad says "Now just one minute I never said anything of the kind. I don't like words being put in my mouth." Lori snickers and says "Well what do you like being put in your mouth Daddyo? So where are we going for dinner to celebrate lucky boys victory?" My dad is getting ruffled and says "Now just one minute. I don't like being told what to do. Would you mind giving us a minute young woman?"  My mother and father are in discussion over Lori's behavior. I see my dad calming down. Unc not having said a word says "I'll be out front enjoying a smoke." Lori loops her arm in mine and says "So are you ready for prom? That's why I busted out. By the way I'm staying at your house till prom is over. I hope that's not a problem boy friend." She grabs me and gives me a very hard long kiss.Letting go she says "I've been waiting quite a while to do that. We can follow that to its logical conclusion anytime you're ready stud." She grabs me and we start kissing. My mother coughs to get our attention saying "Lori, may I talk to you for a minute?" She agrees and they go off to have a little chat. My dad comes to me and says "She's a little fresh if you ask me." I say  "Dad, just give her a chance please. I like her a lot. We've been writing for over a year now. So please cut her a little slack." We all pile into my dad's Mercedes and we drive back to Mt. Kisco. We stop at John's Best to eat and then Lori comes home with us just like that. Lori sleeps in my room and my mother puts me in the basement. In the morning Lori and my mother are gone. I have some quick thinking to do. What do I do about Theresa Semproni the girl I already asked to thr prom ? What about her mother? All these questions will be answered tomorrow. Thanks and good night. Jody

Saying Goodbye,Making a Stand and Learning to be a Good American!

I'm going to jump around a bit until something catches my attention. Gymnastics camp laid the foundation for my last year in High School. Unc and Abbey joined us on our last trip to Europe. Lori was still in the slammer. We still wrote each other 2-3 times a week. I became very close friends with Steve Scandale and John became jealous. John sabotaged both his car and our friendship. Before the season started we were all training at Dave Veit’s gymnastics school called Gymnastics Spectrum. There was a visiting gymnast named Richie Hawthorne who competed for Southern Illinois University helping out at the gym. Steve was performing a new complex dismount off of high bar and smashed the bar with his shins stopping his rotation. Ritchie Hawthorne had been drinking and didn't do his job spotting. Steve fell forwards after the collision with the steel bar. He landed on his throat with his legs continuing forward with the momentum of the crash breaking his neck. The ambulance arrived and immediately performed a tracheotomy so he could breath. They stabilized him and then rushed him to the hospital. He lived a week before he died. I didn't get to say goodbye. The one thing I did do was before all of this happened I wrote him a very long letter apologizing for not warning him about John tampering with his car. I explained my part in all of what happened and understood that it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I have only the expressed desire that it didn't, because I valued his friendship and would miss it greatly. If I had known these prophetic words were in reality final I pray I might have done something different. At his eulogy he left a message for all of us. "To the gymnasts, please don't stop your quest for excellence because of what happened to me. Find out what is inside of each and every one of you and then you shall all be free in the knowledge that you followed your dream, our dream to its final dismount. I will miss you all. Love, Your teammate, Steve Scandale. The days leading up to his funereal were a waking tragic dream. Merdardt gave both the boys and girls’ gymnastics team permission to leave class and come to his office whenever we wanted or needed to. For this next part I need to backtrack to the summer when I received a failing grade from Dr. Dicker. I appealed to the Regents board and was given a second chance to take it. This was under the condition that it be graded by several regents certified faculty members including Dr. Dicker. Having no choice if I wanted to go to college, I accepted. Following the exam I discovered I passed with a grade of 85. A few teachers felt it was low, but not unreasonable. It sure beat the 55 he gave me on the first one. During fall registration I saw an English elective course called “Crime and Fiction”. I registered for it only to find out the original teacher at the last minute trade with Dr. Dicker. I pleaded and begged only to have my requests ignored because all the other classes were full. So here I was having lost a close friend and being badgered by Dr. Dicker for not paying attention in class. I raised my hand only to be ignored and then decided to stand up and leave. I was walking to the door when he yells “Shultz god dammit I didn’t give you permission to leave Get back here and sit down, now. I keep walking and am through the door walking to Mergardt's office when I am grabbed from behind and smashed into the lockers. My face is pressed up against the metal vents of a locker. I can smell Love’s Baby Soft perfume and know that it’s a girls locker. I slowly crawl my hands up the side of the lockers. When I’m in a push up position I push off hard jamming my upper back into his chest. He stumbles backwards as I turn to face him. His face is just like it was that day last year. I can feel a quiet resolute anger burning in my chest and starting to consume me. Dicker’s bad comb over is in a mad fray as he charges me. My left arm and leg start my turn as I push off of the metal with the palm of my right. I leave my right leg behind me as I brace myself for his attack. His arms are out and almost touching me as I push off of my right leg and spin to my right. As he goes by I reach up with my left arm and grab his left arm just below the elbow and pull. I quickly place my right hand in the center of his back and push him as hard as I can. He slams into the locker with a loud bang. Holding and squeezing on to his left arm I twist it down and behind him. I pull up on the trapped arm and lean in to his hairy left ear which is facing me and say “How does it feel you greasy squirming maggot?” All I hear is “Unh” “Bit off a little more than you can chew. I’d say. If I so much as hear a fucking peep out of you, you’re going to be drinking your dinner through a straw and pissing blood for a month.” I turn around to his right leg and knee him as hard as I can in his thigh. I hear “Ahh!!” as I push him to slide down the lockers to the tile floor. Without looking back I walk to join my teammates in Mergardt’s office. There’s Debbie Amuso, Tracy Hamlin and Laura Rosen sitting with their heads bowed and crying. I walk around Mergardt’s desk and ask “I need to speak to you in private. It’s important.’ Mergardt gets up and says “Ladies stay here as long as you want. I need to go with Jody to see about something.” They sniffle and gesture with a nod they understand. We go into his back file room and close the door. He looks at me and says” Well what is it?” I tell him the scene exactly as it went down. Then I start to cry and say ”I’m sorry coach I know this year meant a lot to you , it means a lot to me as well. I tried to leave, but when he grabbed me and shoved me into the lockers I lost it." Mergardt places his hand on my shoulder and says "You know if we keep going to the well like this it's going to be dry one day. Let's go see the Colonel. I look up at him wiping my face and say in a broken voice "Dr. Lamonica?" Mergardt snickers and says "Cute. Let's get your ass out of this jam before you start getting into the next one. O.k.?" I smirk and give a tiny nod. As we come out of the file room together we hear arguing "Listen Marlene don't bother trying covering for that bastard I know he's here." Marlene says "You'll keep a civil tongue in your head if you know whats good for you Saul." Mergardt steps into the waiting area with Marlene and says " Any trouble here Marlene?" She smiles " No, just the usual adolescent complaints." Dicker starts to talk as Mergardt takes a quick step forward and says "Don't Saul, save it until we're at Dale's office. Jody come with us." Dicker yells " That little miscreant is here Marlene call the cops I want this psycho arrested." Marlene smiles and says "Why I'd be glad to, but which miscreant and which psycho are you referring to?" Dicker has spittle coming from his mouth and points saying with enough saliva to make Daffy Duck envious "That fucker right there." Marlene slaps her desk and stands up pushing her roll chair skidding into the wall knocking off papers from the shelves it hits. Then she says " That's it. I warned you about your language. Now get out of my office right now before I throw you out." Dicker leaves followed by Mergardt and trailing them is me. Before I can leave Marlene grabs me in her abundant busom and squeezes me saying "I know child. It hurts like the dickens but please believe me it does get better. I lost one husband to the war and another to the bottle. Believe me it gets better. Now just sit here for a minute before you go face them. It's going to be some show." She's patting my back and I can literally feel the love and concern she has flowing into me. I stop crying and she lets go and holds me at arms length saying " You have any problem with any of those men you come to old Marlene and I promise you I'll straighten them out right quick." She kisses me on my forehead and says "You sure do have some green eyes don't you." I just look up at the ceiling and shrug. Marlene says "Go on. You ready and remember what I told you." I say " I will and thanks I feel better" I turn and jog to catch up to Mergardt who is alone. I say " Where's my buddy?" Mergardt says "He wanted to get an early start on digging hiss own grave." We walk over to the administration building and go into the office to find the secretary waving us in to Lamonicas office. Dicker is sitting on a chair rubbing his leg. Mr Lamonca nods to Mergardt and says to me "So back for a reup for janitorial duty?" I say "It would seem that way I suppose." Dicker is still just sitting grinding his teeth. Mr. Lamonica starts "Let me see if I got this correct. Jody you just got up and walked out of class when Saul here followed you and you viciously attacked him for no reason. Then took it upon yourself to bring my good friend Rod here to bail your ass out. Is that what happened? Now's your chance boy speak your peace." I go over exactly what happened, how it happened and why it happened. Then I said "Mr. Lamonica since I'm leaving school I would like to say one thing." The principal nods and I say "This guy is like the kid who got beat up in grade school and now wants to take his revenge out on any kid he doesn't like. Except this time someone stopped him dead in his tracks. That someone was me. I'm not going to apologize to him after all the crap he's put me through. I am sorry we won't get a chance to beat Yorktown." Lamonica stares at me and says "Jody please take a seat." Then he says "Saul I'm not going to pretend I like you , because I don't. But I'll bet my job that if I call an emergency meeting in the gymnasium right now I 'll find at least 30 witnesses who saw you attack a student. Then I'm calling the district attorney and ask that you be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for abusing a minor. Saul look at me when I'm talking to you. Do you see where this is going?" Dicker says " So you just want to let him walk? I think I'll take this up with my union rep and then call his parents. After that I'll go to the New York Times and give them a story about the abuses of power that are going on in this school district and how the tax payers money is being embezzled by the principle. What do you think of that Mr. War veteran principal?" Lamonica picks up the phone and calls his secretary to come in. Then he says "Claudia would you be a sweetheart and take my car to get us some lunch . I think we're going to be here for a while." Claudia replies " Sure Mr. Lamonica do you want me to fill it up for you?" Lamonica smiles and says "What would I do without you Claudia?" Claudia says "Not much if you ask me. High test right?" Lamonica reaches in his coat pocket and hands her the keys with $40 for lunch. As Claudia leaves and locks the door Lamonica closes the door and calmly walks back inside saying "Saul do you know how many bones there are in the human hand?" As Saul is turning to look at him Lamonica has got his wrist and is pushing on something because Saul drops to floor yelling " Oww Oww you're going to break it stop." Lamonica say " You're right about that. I am going to break it. But what's really interesting is how I'm going to break it. You see by squeezing my index and middle finger into your thumb I create the proper fulcrum necessary to snap the bones in your hand. That not only break it, but sever the ligaments attatched to your arm virtually leaving the hand useless without extensive surgery. Can you feel that? I'm just bein silly, of course you can. That's my thumb on your malleolus bone. After your hand breaks I just have to push gently in the right direction and that baby will pop right through your skin. Can you feel the bone starting to bow?" Saul is screaming now on the floor, writhing on his back begging " Please I won't do any of what I said please just let me go I promise it stops here." Completly ignoring what was said he continue "Interestingly enough it's actually a combination of 2 moves one from Aikido and another from jujitsu blended into one motion for maximum results. I learned from the man in the black pajamas who took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives Saul. What have you given? Why do you get to live?" Saul crying "I give up I will do or sign anything you like, just please just let me go, pahuleezze." Lamonica drops him and goes back to his chair and sits down. Mergardt goes over to Saul and helps him into his chair. Saul is holding his wrist.Finally Lamonica looks at me and says "What do you think I should do Jody?" I say "Without a doubt I think you should follow your conscience sir." Lamonica turns and asks "Rod we haven't had your input yet. What are your thoughts on the subject?" Rod says "It's hard to say on an empty stomach Dale. Why don't we wait for lunch and then I 'll give my opinion" Lamonica says "Quite right Rod never decide on an empty stomach. Costly mistakes are made that way.You see Saul how thoughtful Rod is? He doesn't make hasty comments or decisions for that matter until he has clearly thought them out. A lesson your gymnast here could sure use. Isn't that right jody?" I say "Yes sir message received loud and clear sir" We all sit in silence until Claudia returns with subs from Little John's Deli.. Lamonica says "Thank you so much Claudia. Please write a receipt for the record." He passes the subs out and then goes to his fridge and hands us all cans of Coke. We sit and eat our meatball heros and wait for Lamonica to talk again. He says "I'll be dammed I was down right peckish. How were your subs gentlemen?" Everyone mumbles good because they're still chewing. Then he says "Saul I want you to write up an agreement that will protect all of us. My lawyer will come to witness it and that should be that as they say. Are we all in agreement? Saul leads with "Absolutely I am doing it as we speak sir. Lamonica says " Splendid, I just knew we could come to an agreement if we laid our cards on the table and talked it out like men. I commend you Saul you took it better than most.I am proud of you. There maybe hope for you yet, seeing that now I find myself in your debt for demonstrating such a sense of fair play and justice. God dammit you're a good American sir. I'm proud to serve with you." Saul writes the agreement, the lawyer comes to witness and we all go back to our lives just a little more grateful than when we arrived. That's it for tonight good night. Jody

Bait and Switch,Loose Lips and A Trip to the Can

Come to find out, things were not as they appeared. Billy started these robberies in order to draw John Smith out into the open. As strange as it may seem I had nothing to do with any of it. The Banks clan and John Smith did hit some of the houses of kids who had made my life miserable over the years. Unc filled me in on the rest. I said " When are they going to bring the stuff here?" Unc smiled and said "Sit down. There are some things you need to hear. Remember when Billy came over and we went outside to smoke our cigars?" I nod "Remember when I told you we needed to stay away from John Smith?" I nod " Bobby went to and died in jail because of what John Smith did. Bobby was only driving. It was John had the gun. When they got caught Bobby kept his mouth shut and John blamed it all on him." I say "But what about all that stuff he told me and us going to the restaurant?" Unc says " Jest window dressin' boy jest window dressin" Unc continues "Boy as soon as you told me that Billy was the janitor..." Unc stops suddenly " I ask " What? Tell me." He continues " The reason he pulled all this foolishness was to keep you out of the way. Remember he's Buddy's brother and whether we like it or not that boy loves us. Nuttin' we can do 'bout that. So he explained that you can't keep your mouth shut" I interject saying "Hey who says I can't keep my mouth shut?" Unc laughs and says "The universe that's who. You're a lot of beautiful things. But you ain't and never gonna be no smooth ass criminal.It's as simple as that. I ain't even supposed to be telling you this. If Mr. Julius find out , you'll be writing me the next time we talk. You got a decision to make . You wanna be a gymnast or you wanna be like those guys. Cause as charming as they can be they all gonna wind up in jail or dead in the next 10 years. So go and chew your cud on that fo awhile." I couldn't believe that all of this was a charade to keep me out of the way. Now come to think of it I always wondered about Smith and that weird shit he pulled pretending to be Buddy's brother. I go back to Unc and ask "So what's going to happen if there is no big restaurant job?" Unc shakes his head and says " You ain't gonna leave me to my peace are you?" I smile and say " Nope so dish old man I want to hear it all." Unc snaps me quick look about the old man crack. I say "Sorry" Unc waves his hand like it ain't no thing but I know it is. He says "Billy says to me that night that he's got something that just can't wait. But he don't want you in the way. He says that if we hide it or make it secret then you're going to start snooping. Like you did. He says if we pretend to let you in then there's one less thing to worry about. I agreed as long as it was safe. While Johns is finding out that the restaurant is a set up, Billy and his family gonna put all that stolen shit, from all those homes in his house and drop the dime. Billy looks good to his parole officer and Smith as they say goes up the river. There's nothing else to tell. So if you got questions think of them now." I say " So all of this was just to put John Smith in jail?" Unc shakes hs head and say " You should have heard his first plan.It took me a while talkin' to him so he wouldn't end up back inside. Jody it's time to get all those gangsters out of your head. You have to pack for gymnastics camp tomorrow. So go on" I say " Thanks unc I love you" Unc says " I love you too Now skidaddle to bed ." I do as unc says and go to bed thinking of 50% less gangster stuff. Thanks and goodnight. Jody

Rough drafts,Personal Essays And A Need To Write Something Light

I have my new homework assignment. It's to write a personal essay before next Tuesday. I still feel the age old childhood sense of rebellion to being asked to do anything for whatever reason. In this case it's me asking to be able to take a writing course. Now being afforded that privilege how dare they ask me to write. Ah, the paradox of the human existence. Isn't it grand? So let's get down to today's topic. I am going to continue with the Fox Lane series. An interesting tidbit I alluded to but didn't expand upon is the extracurricular activities I participated in. While I was helping Billy with his janitorial duties I happened upon something that looked suspiciously like a diagram of various houses of various students. It didn't take me long to piece this puzzle together. An ex-con who went in for burglary and plans to enter other peoples homes. Billy came in as I was inspecting them . It went like this: Billy says "Well this certainly puts us in an awkward position." He raises his palm for me to stop and says "Please don't start with the 'Oh Billy, I promise not to say anything to anybody routine.' Truthfully it has worn a bit thin since my stint at the Osning country club for men. So what would you suggest we do?" Right now I'm thinking "fuck, fuck, fuck" Not a very good problem solving vocabulary, or ass saving one either for that matter. I choose the only option that has worked for me so far, honesty. Thinking fast I say " Billy I won't insult you with any promises or excuses. Here's what I'm thinking. I know some of the kids who live in these houses and some that aren't on there that should be. Let me help for a small cut and the promise you won't rob my house or hurt my family. How does that sound?" Billy doesn't say anything he sits down and justs stares at the wall. An activity I imagine he has a lot of practice at. In order to strengthen my case I continue "Look I've been in a lot of these homes and know the parents schedules. It could be very helpful and keep my own home safe to boot." Billy raises his eyes to look at me and my bowels just about release their rented occupants. Staring for a minute he finally says "When we're done here we go to your house and meet your family. From there I'll decide what will or will not happen. One thing I can promise is if you lie to me or double cross me or I even think you have you won't be doing gymnastics anymore. Are we clear?" Too scared to speak for fear I'll cry or shit my pants I simply nod. Billy walks over to me and says in a happy mood "Good so let's get some work done. Make me a list of all those you think have Art, jewelry, antiques things of value. Anything except electronics they're really hard to move and even harder to fence. I sit down and start listing first the kids I flat out don't like. John Johnson the kid who stabbed me in my forearm in 2nd grade. His family has horses, expensive collectible cars, coins, stamps. pottery. So it went like this until he was done and checked the list. He nods, goes to his locker opens it and tosses me a fifth of Jack Daniels. He slams the locker shut with his black satin racing jacket on his shoulder and says "Long and deep like you mean it Jody. This is our promise to one anothe." I take the bottle unscrew the cap, exhale and up end it letting it go down my throat like a fire swallower at the circus. After about a three count, which is as long as any strength requirement in gymnastics, I pull it away, wipe my mouth and pass it to him. Billy grabs it and takes a long pull, after which he reaches out his hand for the cap. I hand it to him and we walk to the employees parking lot. Before we leave Billy opens his locker and puts the bottle back and take out a box of professional looking drafting tools puts them into a familiar looking old fashioned doctors bag. As we leave the basement Billy punches his time card and we hop in to his 1976 orange AMC Gremlin. I'm a little surprised and Billy looks at me saying "I've modified this baby a bit. For my purposes it handles better and is less conspicuous than a muscle car like yours." We drive to my house and I introduce Billy to my mother and Unc. It's dinner time so he joins us and is as polite as can be. He is a real charmer. I go to help Unc clean the table and Billy is already helping we wash and dry the dishes. Billy pulls out 2 Monte Cristo cigars and Unc's eyes light up. Billy nods and Unc and him go outside to have a smoke. I ask " Mama where do the Gilmores live?" She replies "Why on earth would you want to know that? They're dreadful people." I answer "You don't want to know." She squints and says "They live of off Trinity Pass on Indian Hill Rd. if you must know." Unc and Billy come back in Billy says " Thank you so much for inviting me. I enjoyed it very much. I have to go now, so good night." I walk Billy out and he turns to me and says "We got a deal. Keep thinking of homes., I want this all said and done by the end of the week. By the way I gave Unc a little present I hope he likes it." I ask " What did you give him?" Buddy told me he is as fast as anyone he ever saw with a knife. So I gave him one of mine." I start to ask and am interrupted with his palm again "No and I made a promise to him so don't ask me again. Later." He hops in his Gremlin and drives off slowly. Unc comes up behind me and puts his arm around me saying " That was good thinking. I always was worried about when they would end up hitting our place. So you did good." Unc shows me the knife, flicks it open and says "You're old enough to learn this now, so pay attention. There are three rules #1-Somebody is going to die if a knife is involved $2-You will be the one laying there bleeding to death if you don't strike first. $3- Always thrust in and upward, don't slash." Before I could grab the knife Unc jabbed me 3 times quick in the stomach. Somehow he had flipped the knife around backwards so it wouldn't hurt me. Then he said "You sure you want it?" Suddenly I changed my mind. Who was I kidding I wasn't about to jab and kill anyone. I said "You keep it, I'm no where near ready to use one on another person." Unc grabs me and hugs me " I'm proud of you boy. It's a good sign when you know yourself. You're right. You aren't a killer. Be proud of that fact." I smile and feel lighter somehow that I'm not carrying this secret alone and that I don't have to lay awake at night wondering if I have the guts to use a knife. I said "So Billy explained our deal, and why it happened." Unc laughs saying "Jody don't you think for one minute that he didn't want you to see those plans, 'course he did. He don't know anybody in Pound Ridge besides you. What we got to do is think of the best way to play it is all. You best tell him 'bout your relatives that live here too." I say "Oh crap,I didn't even think of that." So the days pass by and a surge in house robberies is all anyone can talk about at school. As I walk by in the lunch room I hear "Did you here the Gilmore's house was robbed. Everything, even the cars. Somehow they knew they were away on vacation." I'm in the basement with Billy and guess who walks in. John Smith " John says "Hello Jody, Long time no see. I see once again you are right in the middle of it." Billy says "Give John the last bunch of names you came up with." I do and explain how to get there and all that I know about them. Billy goes over to the table and shows John the plans to this fancy restaurant in Bedford Hills. Billy comes over to me and says "I got one more thing for you to do and then your done." He tells me what it is and I go home. I explain to Unc what I have to do and he decides to come along. Unc says "Lets go down to the basement and make room in the crawl spaces and closets." We do it the next night, which is Saturday. Unc invites My mother and me out to a very fancy restaurant in Bedford Hills called Spasso's. It's heritage stretches back to early colonial times. It's rumored the John Jay and Aaron Burr both dined here on occasion. There is a plethora of Antiques and rare collectibles here. It's also being cased for a job by none other than Unc and I. I go to the bathroom and write down everything I see that's valuable and where it is. I check out the windows and locks. Unc is covering the other end . He's in the kitchen thanking the chef for such a wonderful meal. After dinner mama drops us off at the bowling alley for moonlight bowling. Unc looks at me and says " No drinking you hear?" We walk in and the gang has 2 lanes filled with good bowlers. We go over to join them . I see Billy throw a bowlling bowl and am impressed. He returns from his shot and sits next to unc and I at a table behind the lanes. I say "Shit Billy you can tear the cover off of a bowling ball. Unc briefs him while I take Billy's shots. Then I show Billy everything I have and Unc takes Billy's shots We all bowl have a good time. Unc at the end says " Tell you what you make this $25 shot and I'll get you a pitcher of beer. I slam it and Unc collects the money because it's illegal for minors to gamble or win money. We drink our pitcher and Unc finishes explaining the final part of the plan. Everything is in place and Mama picks us up and we go home to sleep. Like I am going to right now. Good night. Jody