One week from today I'll be writing from New York.This reminds me of the very first time I went to the city apartment. This was in 1976. I had plans to see the very first American gymnastics cup, which was to take place in Madison Square Garden. It was a weekend and I caught a train from Mt. Kisco to go to Grand Central Station. I arrived around 7 and from there I took the shuttle to Time Square. In my mind the address was 10W 45th St. apt. # 3D. So I walked up from Time Square, which was at this time quite a bit different from what it is now.Being as this was my old stomping ground as a 10year old, I began to wonder why our apartment was in the middle of a ghetto.Time Square was indeed unique. It was wall to wall hookers and sex shops. In between these were hustlers playing 3 card Monty and chess. Needless to say there was quite a bit of crime here. It was late and some very unsavory characters were milling about 10W 45th St.. My street sense told me this was not the place to be at this time of night and alone. If you remember the movie "Taxi" with Robert Deniro, you'll have a good idea of what it look and felt like. I returned to a more poulated block and found a pay phone to call home. My mother answers and I explain that I'm downstairs and add "Just what the hell are we doing here?" To which she responds "Don't be a snob. This is one of the best blocks in Manhattan." I answer " So you're telling me that 10W 45th St is one of the nicest blocks in Manhattan." My mother answers "Where are you again?" I repeat the address. She then proceeds to say "My dear child, we happen to live on 45W !0th St. in Greenwich Village. I recommend you extract yourself from that den of inequity long enough to come see your new home. We will be on the roof at a welcome spring garden party." Feeling a little foolish and put out at this comedy of errors I quickly walked back to the #1 subway and went down to where we still live today. Getting off at 12th st & 7 th Ave. I walk east and south to ny new home.I start to go in and am stopped by a very drunk looking janitor. He wants to see identification. In my politically correct and inimitable fashion I reply "I just moved here and am going up to the roof for the garden party. If you think that I am an intruder, please be my guest and gamble with fate to see whether or not you get your ass handed to you bucko! Now step aside" I proceed past him and get in the elevator as his shock begins to dissipate. The doors close just in time to protect me from Mcpurple janitor man. I push the button for the penthouse and proceed to climb the fire stairs up to the roof. The view is spectacular and I hear the typical murmur of a large group of people enjoying wine and cheese. I see my mother holding a glass of wine and listening to a group of people. I wave and I see her face look alarmed as our silent miming communication continues. I raise my eye brows and open my hands in a gesture of "What's wrong?" Before she can answer I'm grabbed from behind and spun around as the Scottish janitor say "Come heya yuh leetle foccker. I gotcha now. Time to take out the trash laddy boy .Come on let's go." I'm breaking his hold on me and am grabbed by someone else from another direction. I swing my arm saying "Nice welcome. After I finish with Mr. Magoo over here I'll deal with the rest of you froggy fucks waiting to jump." My mother takes her wine and pretends to trip spilling it all over the over zealous superintendent trying to eject me. In a very concerned voice she says "Oh you poor dear look at what I've gone and done. Here let me try to get that stain out for you." She takes her napkin and begins to dab as she turns to me saying "Jody would you be so kid to run and get some club soda and salt." In complete and utter shock and confusion the row which was coming to boil died as quickly as it started. I return and see everyone fussing around my mother and the Super. The gist of it went something like this: "Mr. Macgonigal I would like to introduce my soon to grounded for life son Jody. I apologize usually he isn't like this, but that's no excuse for bad manners. Young man you apologize and go help Mr Macgonigal with whatever chores he deems appropriate." His face returning to its normal beet red color he says "No ma'am that won't be necessary I didn't know he lived here. It's just that he walked bright by me and was very rude to me." Knowing that I created all of this I said "Mr. Macgonigal I'm sorry. I truly am. I just came from 10W 45th St. thinking it was here and was confronted with a few rude people myself. I apologize sincerely. My mother putting one arm around both of us says "Now gentlemen who would be kind enough to bring me a nice glass of Chardonnay." The super looks at me and says "You heard your mother." Fighting with every ounce of self control I nod and don't roll my eyes as I go to get both of us some goodies from the spring roof top party.Coming back with the wine and cheese I hand one to my mother and another to the Super who waves it off like he never touches the stuff. 'Yeah right' I go shake hands with him as he squints his eyes letting me know this is far from over and to watch my step. I turn back to my mother and say "Well at least everyone knows who I am now." Smirking she answers "Yes my son the keeper of the silver cloud lining. How fortunate I have you to brighten up any occasion. We'll talk about this later young man." I try to say something and she cuts me off with her hand. I sneak enough wine to get a buzz and stuff my face with hors d'eouvres.We say our goodbyes and we walk down stairs to the elevator. I say "Mama I know started it but he's drunk and obnoxious." She smile and says 'So you felt it the best course of action was to insult and antagonize him in oder to win him over.Was that your strategy?" I bow my head and confess "I was frustrated and in a hurry. He was just in my way. I was in a foul mood." The doors to the elevator open as she ruffles my hair saying "To tell you the truth it was dreadfully boring until you showed up. Not that I want you to continue this behavior." She reaches into the chasm of mystery she refers to as her 'bag' and retrieves a bouquet of keys that would make a lock smith take notice. There's a round circular key to undo the dead bolt and three more complicated locks below that. Finally opening it she bows and waves her hand for me to enter saying "Welcome home weary traveler. This is it." Thanks Jody
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