A Day in New York!

I was born in Manhattan. A rare breed I've heard it said. To be a native New Yorker is like a badge of courage among some. I believe that each person forms his or her own symbiotic relationship with each special place by the adventures they experience there. This next couple of blogs will be about what I do to connect to the city.I live on 10th st. It was voted the most romantic block in Manhattan. We even have our own block newspaper. It's a fairly well kept secret from tourists. Greenwich Village has rich history steeped in art, music and literature. William Faulkner used to live right across the street, though it was a bit before my time. The point I'm attempting to make is that a tremendous amount of culture lies within just a few blocks of each other. So as best as I can, I will give you my own little tour of New York filled with fascinating little tidbits of questionable value. Most New Yorkers(Manhattanites) seldom if ever leave a 5 block radius, unless absolutely necessary. It may seem overly restrictive at first glance, but it's a fairly easy habit to fall into. I've had friends move a mere 10 blocks. We gave them a farewell party, knowing that we would seldom if ever see them again. While I spend most of my time in Cozumel, it's around this time of year that I start to get Island fever and really miss New York. I guess my New York symbiont is crying out for its fix. I get varied responses from people when I tell them I vacation there. Most just furrow their brow and pucker their lips in detest and disapproval. It's a constant source of amusement that never fails to make me laugh. Well to each his own or one mans prison is another mans paradise. I'll start with a typical arrival. You're in one of the three major airports. For this particular jaunt we'll be landing in Ls Guardia airport. It was named from the former mayor Fiorello Enrico LaGuardia who represented "the conscience of the twenties":

As Democrats and Republicans cavorted like rehearsed wrestlers in the center of the political ring, LaGuardia stalked the front rows and bellowed for real action. While Ku Klux Klan membership reached the millions and Congress tried to legislate the nation toward racial 'purity,' LaGuardia demanded that immigration bars be let down to Italians, Jews, and others. When self-styled patriots sought to make the Caribbean an American lake, LaGuardia called to remove the marines from Nicaragua. Above the clatter of ticker-tape machines sounding their jubilant message, LaGuardia tried to tell the nation about striking miners in Pennsylvania. These are just a few of the things he's known for.

This man was truly one of New Yorks finest. So let's return to the airport. After clearing immigration and customs you'll emerge at baggage claim. It's here where things start to move a little faster. People will fly by you like you're standing still and scramble to reconnect to the life they know so well. Signs and porters are everywhere to get you where you want to be. Since you're with me it will go a little more like this. Ricky(our hero from a previous story) will be waiting when we get to baggage claim. You'll be embraced and lifted from the floor regardless of age, weight or sexual identity.Then he will proceed to yank the luggage off the carousel as only a Samsonite gorilla could, and lead you to his newest vehicle. Ricky is famous for having no less than 3 vehicles at any given time. Due to his gruff, but generous nature they are usually being used by those he loves. I can hear Ricky saying in a New York accent "What? You got a problem with that? I didn't think so!" So let's hurry up because Ricky doesn't have all day you know. He works for a living, a real job, not whatever it is you do. Now I would in all earnestness recommend you to fasten your seat belt. I mean it buckle up and hold on we're going to the city Ricky style. You may be suffering from a little jet lag, you would be well advised to keep it to yourself. Ricky was up before dawn and has already worked a full day. Usually at a job site of some famous building in New York. Since Tammy, Ammba(his god daughter) and I are with you you'll just have to assume you're safe as we speed past cars like they were parked and weave an intricate design through bumper to bumper traffic. From workng so many years in the city , he knows more tricks than a taxi driver paying alimony to 3 ex-wives.Though he's never crashed, it will make all other car rides appear safe in comparison Taxi and limo rates will begin to look more reasonable. As the car comes to a screeching halt one of us lucky passengers will jump out and get the doorman just after kissing the ground and thanking our maker. Ammba has learned over the years that no force known to man can stop Ricky. She recommends keeping your mouth closed and ears open if this is your first trip, wise advice to the uninitiated.. The doormen know Ricky and go jogging out to help as he tosses them the bags. I will go with him to park the car, while you guys go up stairs with the luggage. Sargent Ricky suggests not getting too comfortable. We gotta go eat, so hurry up we don't have all day. We all scurry to get what we need for the upcoming trek on foot. We meet in the lobby to find Ricky talking faster than an auctioneer at a clearance sale. The doorman, who this time is a chap named Bogdan, is carrying on a completely different conversation with Ricky. Neither seems aware of the fact or even concerned. Bogdan is virtually unflapable. Even the most caustic remark rolls off him like water off a ducks', well you know the rest. Ricky's intensity can take a little getting used to. Bogdan and him have know each other for years, so just sit back and watch the show. I see a slight glitch in the upcoming program . It's where to eat. Never has a group been as diversed in eating habits as this circus act marching down 6th ave. Ammba wants Mr. Softy. Ricky's a Grays Papaya man(best hotdog in New York) Tammy only enjoys strictly healthy and organic food. Me,I got a hankering for a slice of Rays(best pizza in the world) So the debate begins, where is everyone going to eat? We usually treat Ricky because of tradition and it's the only time we'll have money. After that he usually foots the bill. We all tell Ammba " No Mr. Softy until after you eat a real meal, young lady you should know better." Tammy pipes up saying"Hotdogs! Over my dead body. Ricky!" Ricky grins saying " Well that's not my first choice , but we can use you as a table once rigamortis sets in if you like." I start and am interupted in chorus" For the love of god! Jody Please eat something other than pizza!"Slumping I shrug and say "Jeez! What a welcome!" This banter goes on for at least 5 more blocks bringing us downtown near to Soho. Everyone now looks to me . I mockingly raise my hands in complete disbelief "Oh! So now you want my opinion. I see how it works." I am tolerated for all of 3 seconds when real hunger begins to become an issue. Now everyone is looking around for a restaurant like a starving vampire just before dawn. What usually happens is we agree to eat at the next place no matter what. It then that no matter where we look there isn't a restaurant in sight. Eyes are back to me and I scramble through this familiar episode to come up with a quick solution. For the sake of argument we will end up at a place called Snack. Ricky will snicker " Yea! Nice name Snack. What dream team, in what think tank delivered us this gem?" We walk in and it's hopping and there's a small wait for the waitress to notice us. Smiling she greets us. This is usually where Ricky snaps his fingers at her saying " Hey honey! Even statues get hungry. So howz 'bout rustling us up a table darling. Before my tip forgets just how cute you are." He then flashes his most demonic smile and winks. Somehow and don't ask me how they always seem to know that he's just a hard working blue collar guy who bust his ass just like they do all day long and all he want is a little attention. I used to cringe in embarassment and pity the poor person waiting on us. This I can assure was not the way to go . Ricky is no idiot and knows when he's being tolerated or being condescended to. So since you're with our group toughen up and stay with the program. The program being breaking through the facade we all fall back on when in new situations. Dining with us is not for the faint of heart. Ricky then switches to the eager endearing child who can't make heads or tails of the menu. Please don't take the bait and offer to help. Tammy can tell you that it's a true test of the tensile strength and limits of your patience. The waiter or waitress will come to take the order, usually reciting the specials of the day. Ricky immediately orders quickly and decisively. "Give me something with meat and potatoes, well done, not too spicy and please nothing green on my plate. A large diet soda Please. " He smiles hands back the menu and sits quietly until the next stumbling block comes. Tammy's next and here begins the show. She hems and haws and asks for her to please come back to her later. Ricky wisely stops this and quickly narrows her choices. Ricky will say " Just bring her a wheelbarrow full of raw vegetables and a fork. Next" Ricky then turns to me "What's Mr. Esoteric having today? Just bring him something he can't pronounce and he'll be happy. Make sure it has lots of garlic." The waitress usually picks up on this saying " O.k. no garlic how about the so and so special?" I just nod and say "Thanks" All eyes turn to Ammba and she looks up and then looks at me saying " Papi? I don't know what I want." The waitress usually tells her what she likes or gives a suggestion of what other kids order. Ammba looks to me and I interupt saying "Yes, you can have mine if you don't like yours." She smiles and now it's your turn. Be quick, we're all staring right at you. No pressure, it will just define who and what you are in our eyes. So while you're rolling that over in your mind , please excuse us we have important things we need to catch up on. Like where in the name of scampering strumpets did we find your sorry ass. Welcome to New York and don't forget to tip 20%. If you're still with us we'll show you around some more tomorrow. This one we're not submitting it's getting sent c.o.d. Jody