This is the 6th and last installment for a while about the birth of Deer Park Gymnastics. Our new gym was built and now we had boys equipment as well. Immediately a lot of boys from other gyms flocked to see if the grass was greener here. Knowing how much hard work and time it takes to train gymnasts, I discouraged other gymnasts from leaving their coaches and gyms. I did this for a few reasons. The first and most selfish reason was I didn't want to have to fix other coaches mistakes. Another was slightly more virtuous, taking athletes from coaches was unethical. So I turned most away until I met a group of kids who asked only for a chance to try out. My immediate thought was this will be a breeze. I brought out the youngest ones of the girls team and said if they could keep up with them for a week they could stay. The boys were 12,13 and 14 already to old by Soviet standards to teach. I told Kurt to give them a fair but tough audition. We rotated them throughout the week from one event to another. Kurt and I stumbled on the fact that none of them could do a standing back flip. All of our girls could easily do as many as 100 in a row without tiring. So we used this as both bait and an excuse to get rid of them. Well Kurt had them leaping and landing on their faces. We said that if they could learn it before the week was out we would give them a months probationary period. The oldest boy , who we will call Rack learned it in one try and snottily said "That's it? You guys are a joke." Kurt took this personally and asked Rack if he could do this. He walked on the mat placed a quarter down and proceeded to so a standing full twisting back flip landing back on the quarter without so much as a wiggle. Rack eyes got wide and said "Check it out guys chubby boy here can flip. Isn't that just the cutest? Not bad old man Let me try." Rack walked out and tried and landed flat on his side. Both Kurt and I ran to see if he was alright. He shakes his head getting to one knee and snidely says " Back off faggots, I'm not done yet." We look at each other and with simultaneous sweeping arm motions bow and say " Be our guest young esquire, you've got till the end of workout and then you're out of here Mr. Personality" We walk away discussing what a brave and tough kid he was, but with the attitude of a rabid weasel. He'd be gone by the end of workout and we would be well rid of him. He personified the reason why we wouldn't take kids from other gyms. Too much hassle breaking them in and they would never come out right. Well 9pm rolled around and Rack is still doing his one man human sacrifice act. I said "You got to give the little punk an E for effort. Not many kids can crash for an hour and a half and still walk away." Kurt shrugs indifferently. I walk up to Rack and say " Well thats it kiddo , sorry it didn't work out. Good luck and good night." We walk into the office plop down on the couch and crack an ice cold Meisterbrau from the out of order button on the soda machine. We had convinced the machine guy to give us a button so we could put what we wanted in it. He put a Motts prune Juice label and then and out of order sign under it He said "If that doesn't deter the little buggers I don't know what will."
So far it had and we were having a laugh when there was a knock on the door. I go to open it and a woman who resembled "Murphy Brown" pokes her head in. Smiling she casually says "Jody, may I talk to you a minute?" I nod walking out to the lobby where there are seats. I ask "Would you like something to drink?" She shakes her head and says " Do you know who his brother is?" My eyes must have widened .I suddenly did and the pieces started to fit together. Seeing this she continues"I gather you remember him from the town recreation meet you held last year." That's where I knew him from! Wow! What an overbearing arrogant bully he was, pushing kids out of the way yelling at other coaches to get off his equipment. I had to have a confrontation with him to get him to act civil. She goes on " I don't know exactly why my boys are spoiled liitle shits. I'm sure it's a lack in my parenting abilities or working too much. Nevertheless they are and they got kicked out from the other gyms and you're the last place I could find. So honestly, how did my boy do? " Gulp! I scrambled and recovered quickly at the thought of spending the next 3 years with little Rack. I look her straight in the eyes and say" He didn't make it. It came down to one skill. He just couldn't do it. I'm sorry." Solemnly she bows her head and says. "So if he cold perform this skill you would give him a chance?" I nod in mock sympathy and say "Why yes Mrs. Rack that would be the case . We gave him all day to do it and he just couldn't." Putting her hands together in a prayer like movement she asks " Could you find it in your heart to give him just one more chance at this skill? Right now, if he fails we walk away friends no hard feelings." Starting to get a weird feeling I answer " Sure , I'm not unreasonable. It's late so bring him in and we'll give him one more shot at it. Walking back into the office I grab my beer and chug it. Burping under my hand I say to Kurt "Come on out, you might like to see this." Raising his eyebrows in a question I wave for him to follow. Rac walks in like Oliver from the movie. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. He takes off his jacket throws it down and walks on the floor exercise area in his sneakers. I start to protest but Kurt raies his hand to stop me. I say " Well the floor is yours little man." He walk to the center and proceeds to leap into the air higher than Kurt and do a full twisting back flip and stick the landing perfectly." Both our jaws drop and we look ar each other, then at Rack who is still playing the little saint. Rack says in a weak timid voice " Coach Jody was that good enough to make the team?" Rubbing my head with my hand looking around for help I finally say" Wow! That was truly amazing!" Kurt says "Would you mind doing it one more time?" He nods eagerly and raises his arms and looks at Kurt and says "Ready coach Kurt?" He then does it exactly like the first one and Kurt nods and says "Very Good Rac you got my vote." He walks away and back to his beer in the office as he shuts the door. Mrs. Rac tells little Rac to go wait in the car. She then says "I'll take what you're having, if you still have any left." I go tap the prune juice button twice and give her a Meisterbrau we return to the lobby and sit across from each other drinking our beer. We each waited for the other to start. I broke first and said "I'm a man of my word. He has 1 month to show he can keep up. After that I'll make my final decision." She nods looks at her beer and says " My this is god-awful stuff." I say smile saying "At $3.99 a six it grows on you. Look , I have a question. If little Rac should have a behavior problem, how would you like to handle it?" She stands up and gently places the can on the magazine table like a dead animal and says " Call me immediately and I will drop what I'm doing and you'll see then how I 'll deal with it. Let's cross that road when we get there. I say "Fair enough, have him here at 4pm tomorrow." She shakes my hand and says "Thanks Jody, Rac ws so happy when he heard you moved to Long Island and opened a boys program.To be honest I never heard of you. Who have you coached? I look at her and say "We don't take credit for individual athletes we are a coaching staff we all make contributions ." She narrows her eyes to see if I'm serious and then she says "Sort of like, it takes a whole town to raise a child kind of thing." I shrug and say "I don't know maybe."She leaves and Kurt pops his head out and says "Why do all the jerks have to be talented?" I start to answer and he walks away saying "Shut up!"The other two boys proved to be less talented, but a pleasure to work with. We'll call them David and Timmy. I decided to keep them as not to be stuck with Rac alone. Some moths later I was teaching preschool gymnastics in the morning with Kurt when he taps me on the shoulder and says "Is that kid in your group?" I say "What kid?"Pointing he smiles and says "Oh that one walking back and forth on the high-bar." I look up and see a 3 year old walking back and forth on the high-bar 9 feet off the ground. Jumping up and running over I tell Kurt to watch my class. I approach the kid and gently say "There you go tiger jump down to me. I'll catch you. Everything is going to be o.k." He looks at me and says "no no! Mikey Mikey fly fly!!" I say "o.k. Mikey Mikey jump to me." He laughs and says "No no I I stay stay silly silly! I get a ladder and climb up to where he is. He says "Watch watch!" and jumps head first as far as he can into the pit yelling "Weeee Weeee!" I ask who the mother is and find out she went to the bathroom when all this happened. She emerges calling for her son. By now I have him in my arms and give him back to her. I say " Would you be interested in having little Mikey here evaluated? She says evaluated for what? I answer "A mini-boys program I'm starting as of now after seeing him." I picked 5 others and that's how The Pathetics were born. After working with them for a year other wanted to join. I said to the parents "Try outs will be Friday night at 9pm. Drop your child at the door and do not I repeat do not enter the gym. You may pick your child up at 10pm sharp." I should add that at this time we had won every gymnastics meet we entered. We entered 9 open invitationals that year. Meaning there was no age limit on the team you brought. You needed a minimum of 4 gymnasts we had only 3. So like Pete Rose I stepped up to the plate and competed with them. We soon became well known and the team to beat at nationals. All 3 of them qualified and made national team. I was nominated to be coach of the junior national boys team. I was finishing my career as they were starting theirs. Let me state this now for the record. These boys were like pennies from heaven. We made each other great in a time when greatness was thought forgotten. Let's not leave those little boys waiting. They have a try out tonight. I had cleared the area below the balcony of any mats. I brought a vaulting board upstairs to the observation deck. I greeted them and wished them all luck. I then sincerely apologized that some wouldn't make it. They asked "You mean the team?" Shaking my head I squatted down to be at their level and very slowly explained what they were to do was run and jump on the board and dive over the balcony while I was below trying to catch them. I said "I usually drop only 1 out of every 5-6 jumps. I've gotten better since last year when Fred died." There eyes were like fried eggs. Mikey-Mikey ,who I finally dubbed Captain Redundant because he repeated everything several times, asked how many times did we get to jump?" I said at least 3 times. Well I went down stairs and said " O.k. lets.." before the words were out of my mouth Mikey was already swan-diving towards the concrete. I ran and caught him. Then I said " Wait until I say go." This went on for an hour and only 3 little boys didn't jump. I guess they didn't want to end up like my imaginary friend Fred. When the parents returned they told them what happened and none of them believed it. One parent asked "So what did you test them on?" I said "I just wanted to see who was brave and trusting enough to jump." The father smiled and said winking "Sure you did." I'm grateful to report after 11 years of coaching no one in my gym got seriously injured, except Fred that is. If you watch gymnastics on television you can be sure you've seen at least 1 or 2 of the Pathetics When they first competed they wanted a cool name like the tigers or the panthers. I decided to keep their little egos in check. So I named them The Pathetics. They had warm up suits with this printed on them and were laughed at by all the other teams. Our first meet they won by a ton. On the way out I heard "Mom I want to be a Pathetic." Deer Parks' proud Pathetics grew to be the backbone of American mens gymnastics. They all graduated college and several are coaching in gyms of their own. Pete Rose did not bet on his own team, though it would have been a good one. Now he is in another type of gym trying to make his clients as pathetic as possible. Submitted for your approval Jody
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