This is part 3 of the junior bowling series. Girls and bowling appeared almost simultaneously. I know what you're thinking and no Marylou and I were never romantically involved. What we were was one hellacious pair of bowlers from Westchester County. She was 3 years older and at that age it's a lot. We were friends and she was my ice cream and egg cream connection. I started hanging around the older men bowlers on weekends and bowling action matches. It wasn't my money, but I got a cut if I won. After school on Friday I would go to the bowling alley from school. I was allowed back on the bus finally. I would do my homework there and my mother would drop unc to keep an eye on me, pick up my homework then go to the city to meet my Dad. They returned around 2a.m. to bring us home. It was my favorite night of the week. The thing I loved about the bowling alley was that people of all races, ages, gender and economic background would gather to compete fiercely as equals. After they would celebrate each others efforts. I used to call it a social model for the U.N. There were literally bowlers from Yale to jail, all putting aside their preconceived notions of one another to join in the love of the sport. Now don't misunderstand me and think this was Disneyland or some other wholesome place to visit, it wasn't. It had all the problems and pitfalls of any blue collar enviroment. I grew up quickly here and made unc earn his money, so to speak. He would have done it for free, but it's how he would have put it. There are many stories from that time and place that will never leave my pen or lips. Enjoy the few I share, they were hard earned lessons in life, love and what it is to grow from a boy and be a man. One fateful day I went bowling on Saturday morning like always. There was a cool October chill in the air. I could feel it in my bowling ball which I left in the trunk from the night before. I got my hot chocolate from Vic at the snack bar and settled in to put my shoes on and cut tape for my thumb hole . It had become a ritual and was comforting before the intensity of match play. Then I hear "Saturday Bantem Junior League you may begin your 10 minute of practice." I started out with respectable 188, followed by a skillfully executed 212 with no misses and closed with an explosive 254. No one had ever bowled that much in the history of the league or the state for that matter. My picture and an interview were in the local paper. I received a special award from ABC(American Bowling Congress). This is when girls started paying attention to me. They always went through unc first. He would tell me to be careful because the waters ran deep and the current could be rough. I'm not one to kiss and tell so that's as far as that direction of this story will go. My social status was immediately raised from kid to respected bowler. There were many a time when unc and I capitalized on the fact that we looked like an old man and a young punk kid. People wanted to bowl for money and who were we to stand in there way. We averaged between $750-$1000 a weekend bowling action matches. Saturday night was moonlight bowling where the lights were out and the pins were colored, all of it under purple neon black light. There was an announcer who would entertain and call out money shots as colored pins would appear in front and other various combinations. Most of the good bowlers were busy drinking and carrying on, so they asked me to take all the money shots. If I made them they would split the money with me. There were also other things to do in the dark as a teenager. One weekend there was an away tournament with hundreds of bowlers competing for only 5 spots. This was for all of New England and a fairly prestigious event. Ironically first place was a certificate for $1000 to be used for college so as not to interfere with your amateur standing. What really impressed me was that all of the best bowlers from our lane went in support of me. It was held at a place called Byram Hills. It was off of the Sawmill River Parkway near to Elmsford. The format was different. There was no match play just high score of 16 games with no handicap. I started my fist throw with a split. As usual unc was disgusted and left for the remainder of the tournament. I bowled and bowled and didn't keep score or pay much attention. There was this very cute girl in very tight jeans with the word "THE END" embroidered on her rear end. Now days it's fairly common but in the 1970's it was a scandal. Parents shunned her, men oggled her and women were mean to her. Now I know I should have been paying attention and concentrating on my bowling, but this girl attached herself to me like a remora. She bought me sodas carried my bowling balls from lane to lane and sat on my lap between blocks of games. I kept looking for unc , but he was no where to be found. We talked and flirted and got to know one another. She would disappear and come back , it was a long afternoon and I was having a blast. In the middle of the last 4 block of games Buddy and Gary both in their mid 20's come running up to me and say "Jody come here we need to talk to you." I say " That's so cool, you guys came to watch thanks it means..." They cut me off as I was thanking them,. Oh well I thought, whatever at least they came. I started to go up to bowl and Buddy grabs me shakes me and says " Listen you little shit you're in a lot of trouble unless you pay close attention right fucking now! You hear me?" Gary echoes him with worse language. I say "I'm bowling decent and did you checkout the girl who is all over me? Wow, I mean wow!" Buddy says " We love unc and don't want to see him killed so do as we tell you!" Hearing this, thinking unc in danger,I drop everything and run towards the bar yelling" You fucking little pussies you left unc alone in there to die. If 1 hair on his head is even out of place, I'm making you fuckers my lifes work. Now let's go, come on!" I'm running and someone tackles me and I smash into the floor. It's Gary Roberts now kneeling on my chest with Buddy Banks coming up along side of him. He puts his hand over my mouth and I can't move or even breath for that matter . He says calmly" Fuckin' "A" little dude, I truly hope you're on my side the next time I get in a fight. Here's the deal snapperhead. That little piece of tail you're clinging to is married to a New York State Trooper, who is very jealous and obviously for good reason." Buddy jumps in" We were... , well never mind what we were doing. The bartender told us to watch out for her because she pulls this crap all the time. Since he's a cop nobody can touch him. Capeesh? Gary's going to let you up, don't speak, don't even fucking move or I will.. never mind what I 'll do. Just listen." Gary picks me up like a doll and puts me down and brushes me off. Then he says" How many games you got left?" Desperately I say "What about unc? How is he going to die? What does this have to do with him?" Like a 3 stooges episode they both slap me upside my head. I cringe and cover up. "Buddy?" " Yes Gary what is it?" "Didn't we both just tell him to shut the hell up?" "Why Gary I do believe you're right." " Yes and what did we say would happen to said person if they opened their fucking trap?" " If I'm not mistaken, I believe we were just a tad ambiguous on that particular point." "Yes I do believe you're right." I say "O.k. o.k. I get it. Ow! stop that." "We don't want to be ...? What's the word you used?" " Fucking little pussies?" " No silly! That was our dear friend Jody here who labeled us with such a moniker." "No I think the word I'm lookinig for is.... " Suddenly realizing "That little shit did say that didn't he?" " Yes , but in his defense he was in a justifiably agitated state." Seeing I was in a normal state again they returned to normal saying "Are you calm now and ready to listen ? If you are just nod." I did. "Here's our plan" Buddy began " We keep lookout for "The Ends' " hubby. You finish bowling and for uncs sake, for our sake and for gods sake please stay away from "The End" got it." Gary adds " You know what will happen if that guy comes after you don't you? Let us give you a little preview of what we think will occur." Buddy says " You're playing grab ass. Mr. I can't control my slut of a wife grabs you and starts to beat the ever loving piss out of you. Now here's the interesting part. Gary?" " Guess who comes running in with what I predict will probably be a knife, maybe a switchblade, to try and save your sorry ass?" Bowing my head and finally piecing it all together I say in a beaten voice "Unc will. You're right and nobody will be able to stop him. Then he either dies or the very least goes to jail and gets beat up in there." Buddy silently clapping hands in a prayer position says "By Jove I think he's got it old chap." In a sincere gesture I ask with my hands in a praying position "O.k. what do I do? " Gary points to Buddy who says " Gary will watch your back while you finish bowling. You keep your eyes either on your mark or on the floor. Think Mr. Allstate bowler can handle that?" I nod Gary says " Buddy will buy unc some drinks with money you'll pay back.." I interrupt sharply " No Buddy, no booze, bad, bad idea. You ever see him drink at the bowling alley? No! That's cause he's a mean ass drunk. o.k.?" Buddy nods saying " Good to know! O.k. then we all just huddle around here till you win this mother. You better win!" He slaps me on my head " I 'm getting unc now go bowl!"I go back to bowling and feel more protected than the president. "The End" comes smiling and waltzing up to me. Gary steps in front saying " I'm sorry Miss, but the bowling proprietor and tournament director have instructed me to keep you away from all participating bowlers" She twists her face in an ugly nasty way and says " Who the fuck are you? I do and go where I want and with who, so step off asswipe! The fucking nerve huh Jody?" I keep my eyes on the floor and say nothing. she repeats " Jody, did you hear me? This asshole won't let me near you." Gary very calmly says "Security? security please escort this woman from the bowlers sette area." Screaming " There is no fucking security in this dump. Get your hands off of me!" Suddenly 2 very huge black guys I know very well pick her up and carry her kicking and screaming out the fire exit which stars blaring ENH ENH ENH!! Everyone looks to see what's happening. Then loudly Gary and Buddy say " Nothing to see here folks go back to bowling sorry for the interruption." I finish the last 3 games without incident getting a high five for every strike and a " Yea buddy buddy!" for every string of strikes over 3. My last games were my best winning the block with 201, 224,246 for a new high 3 game series and a 3488 for all 16 games. Enough to not only win, but set a new tournament record. I look for unc. He's smilng and happy with James Gwatney and Jimmy Lee the "security team." They pick me up and toss me around like a sack of potatoes. Finally putting me down Jimmy Lee says "Yo! my man, I jest heard you wuz da living end!" Grinning I replied" Well guys, I must admit it was touch and go for a while, but it all worked out in "THE END". Cracking up we all laugh. Then I go off by my self and get down on my knees to thank god for protecting me and the ones I love. Appropriately this is also my bedtime prayer . So thanks for reading and keeping interest. The journey has just begun. Good night. Jody
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