This story will be a compilation of various visits and experiences that took place. at and around The Museum of Modern Art(MOMA) http://www.moma.org/ The time line has been adjusted to facilitate the story. So let's begin. The Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) is by far the most stimulating in my opinion. I was 8 years old when I started visiting this museum. I would go with my parents and unc. What we would do is go in to the city on a Friday night an stay until Sunday night. This was before we bought the apartment in the village. So the drill as I remember it goes something like this: My mother and unc pick me up at school and we drive to the train station in Mt. Kisco. My dad would meet us at the Mount Vernon stop and ride into Grand Central Station with us. I always love this place because it has constellations on the domed ceiling like the planetarium. Then it's a taxi to the Salisbury Hotel. I go with my dad to help check in my home away from home. I am feeling very grownup as we enter the elevator and the operator asks if I want to help run the elevator. I say " Oh please, please may I? Look I even said may when I could have said can. Oh please?" The operator smiles as my family says yes. He says " The first thing you need to do is make sure everyone is inside and ready. Then you close the gate. Now comes the fun part. Slowly pull the lever up without making the elevator jump. Watch the floors go by and slow down one floor before the one you stop at. Think you can handle that young man?" Snapping to attention I say "Aye aye captain all passengers aboard and ready for lift off. Hold on a moment while I close the extendo-gate, watch your toes and fingers here we go." I rotate the handle just a little and the elevator jumps. Scaring myself I scream" Yikes! Oh boy! " hold up my hand and say "I 'm alright. Sorry about that, it's my first time. Hold on we're going to the 7th floor." The ride goes smoothly as I concentrate on keeping the speed even and watch the floors go by. As we arrive at the 7th floor I throw the crank forward and the elevator jerks to a bouncy stop. The operator asks if I want any help lining up the floor. I say " Just tell me what to do and I' ll handle it captain. If that's o.k. with you sir? "He smiles and nods his head. I slowly line up the floor with the edge of the elevator and stop. I say " Ladies and gentleman let me introduce you to the 7th floor One of my favorites. Please be careful when you exit. Watch your step please" I open the gate and swing my arm as I bow and present the hallway. " Please enjoy your stay with us and just ring us if you need another ride." I look to Ivan the operator and say " Well where to next captain?" He pats me on my head and says " You did great for your first time, but I'll get in trouble if I let a non-union man operate the lift. You understand don't you? "Feeling a little disappointed I nod my head, slowly salute him and say " Aye captain the good of the lift must come first, besides I don't want to have to go down with the lift. " He winks at me and says "Tell you what, whenever it's just you and me, you can navigate." I say " Great. what's navigacallit mean?" He laughs and very cooly says " Drive my man drive!" With this he closes the gate and zooms off. I look around for my parents and unc and they're all the way down at the end of the hall. I sprint down the hallway and go running inside to do a front flip on the bed. As I'm bouncing unc walks in gives me a look and I stop. I say " I'm starving let's go get something to eat at the Nutty Chuck guy. Everyone looks at me with a qustion on there face. I say throwing my arms open and leaning forward "You know, the place next door Chucky Nuts. They got pie and stuff." My mom and dad say they're off to the museum. I say " I'm going to stay with unc here and watch t.v." My mother says " Nice try buster. Now you get ready for the mseum or it's no Cattleman tonight." I look to unc , my eyes wide. He arches his eyebrows, pulls his lips in and nods. I say Oh! alright I'll go to the stupid, dumb, boring museum with you. Mama" I grin and continue, "I mean MOMA, make unc look at the silly stuff too." So we go to the museum and we all split up. For me it's like being on a secret mission. My favorite game was quiz the guards. I would go into a hall with art in it and look around as if I was really interested. Then I would ask the guard which one he liked the best. He said " Well as long as your asking I am kind of partial to Andy Warhol. Who do you like?" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Warhol
I say " I don't like any of these bums, I mean just look at that. I mean if he was a baseball player he wouldn't even make the line up with that garbage. You know what I mean?" I'm pointing to a Warhol piece "It's a freaking soup can for gods sake. You call that art? I don't! I call that copying man." The guard smiles and asks "Would you do me a favor please? I tap my chest and say " Sure shoot boss what do you need?" He says very quietly " I need you to lower your voice a little. O.k.?" I whisper "Sorry, for some reason I get real loud when I get excited. I go to speech class you know and they say the same thing. I guess it's a vocalmacallit or something like that. Just tap me if I start again." The guard asks " What's your name?" I say softly " Jody Shultz, remember that name you'll be hearing it real soon. I plan on being famous. I don't exactly know at what, but it'll be something. You wait and see." He says " Well Jody my name is Bartholemew . You may call me Bart if you like. I say "Jeez! That's freaky man. Check this out!" He gently taps me because I am getting loud again. I say "Oops! sorry 'bout that.Anyway, that's one of the words I can't pronounce in speech class. That and the thingamajig that measures temperature." He says " You mean thermometer" I twist my mouth and roll my eyes saying "Yea, that one." He extend his hand and I shake it. He says "Nice to meet you, soon to be famous, Jody." I tilt my head and squint my eyes in my best Clint Eastwood imitation to check if he's making fun of me. He says "He was just here you know. " Relaxing I say " Who?" He says "Clint Eastwood, that's who you were doing, right?" I clap my hands and jump. When I land I make like pulling a slot machine and say in my loudest whisper " You know, you're cool Bart. You're the first guy who gets it, besides unc that is." He squints his eyes and says"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I've kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful hand gun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question--Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk!"
Clint Eastwood
Dirty Harry
I'm jumping and can't stop. His impersonation was awesome. I tell him in a Clint voice ' You know, Bart, I think we met for a reason. Don't zackly know why that is but.." and I start to giggle. He holding his hand over his mouth laughing. He looks at me and says "Sorry, I have to move around or I'll get in trouble. Tell you what , why don't you check out the museum and come back in say like an hour. I'll give you a little tour. How's that sound? "I say "A o.k. with me. Can I bring unc?" Bart looks serious for a moment and asks me " He a Clint Eastwood fan?" I smile saying "In this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig." "Clint Eastwood The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
"Who do you think taught me all this?" He says "I'd love to have him. See you in a little bit." well padners, I guess I'm going to have to finish tomorrow. Look for part 2 or be ready to draw. BANG! Thanks, Jody
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