The Emperors' New Suit

Yesterday I mentioned wanting to comment on how my parents related to me and didn't actually do it. Then someone mentioned that, that might not be a such bad thing, as it gives life and insight to how my mind works or doesn't as the case may be. It also was mentioned to me about the time-line. How could I be 13 and be bouncing naked on my parents bed? This got me to thinking that there were many trips to Europe.Though all these events took place, I may have shuffled their order around in the rabbit hole of my mind. To me they're like the stars are in the sky. Some points of light are brighter than others. Their distance and time of travel to us as the observer appear simultaneous. We see them all at the same time. Even though there travel time to us may be millenia apart. It's like this with the doors to my past. As I open them their relative distance to me is as equal as today is to then. Now this is not to say that I have no sense of the space-time continueum . It offers an insight as to why those moments year later appear equidistant to my current reality. What I can say for sure is that these events did take place between the ages of 10-14 , that being 1970-1974 or in grade school time 5th-8th grade. As for the nudity, it's entirely possible I was jumping around just to make my father nuts. I was raised with different perspectives on nudity. My mother raised me to be at ease with my body and not be ashamed of it. We talked while on the toilet and thought nothing of being naked around one another. It's how she was raised . My father was raised very differently. He had a more conservative approach to the nude form, due to his upbringing. This was also at a time in history when streaking was all the rage. Come to think of it one doesn't hear much about streaking these days. Perhaps it's time for it to make a comeback. Sensing myself veering off course instead of correcting it , I will follow it's current and let's see where it goes. I can't imagine Janet Jacksons' nipple making that much of an impression in Europe in the 1970's. Perhaps nudity is just another fashion trend waiting to be marketed. Oh wait it is. While I can count on one hand how many times I saw my father nude, I can remember my mother and I parading around feeling safe and not self conscious. Maybe it's like Adam and Eve . It's only bad to be nude when you're told it's bad. If someone tells you it's bad , where is their frame of reference coming from? I hear people tell me that their worst nightmare is when they are dreaming they are naked in public and people are laughing. What if they weren't laughing? Would it still be a phobic nightmare? I remember having nightmares about forgetting how to do something that I was about to be tested on. I have modeled and been nude for that situation. To me it depend on the intent and the audience you're in front of. A quick little story: A friend of mine(named Paul) got a job modeling underwear. He asked me if I would be interested in doing it too. I said "Sure Paul" So the next day I went for the photo shoot and it took hours for make up and lighting . They took test shots. They even put fake sweat on us. It's actually a product in the modeling industry. It's closer to glicerine than anything else. So we get ready and Paul asks " Jody, do you want a fluffer?" I say " What's a fluffer?" Let me tell you a little about Paul. He is very uptight and very conservative. He comes from upstate New York. If you know upstate you'll know it's a tad self conscious about these things. So, Paul frowns at me saying " You know a fluffer for the shoot. Jody, act like a professional please you've modeled before." I reply " Yes , but at no point in my modeling career has the word fluffer arise." Paul makes a weird face and says " Very funny, save your adolescent humor for after when we go out." In order to give you a general time frame for this story, try 1982-1985. So a little more background, it's January in Manhattan in a very cold Soho loft. We had towels and blankets to help keep us warm. Paul strutted away from me pretending to be disgusted so others could see just how professional he was. Now as you might imagine, this was a catalyst for things to come. I go over to the pastry table in my underwear talking to everyone else in hopes of finding out just what a fluffer is. Everyone else is bundled up by the way. It went something like this. To the wardrobe guy " So does it usually take this long just to take a few photos of guys in their underwear?" Very offended and glib he responds " These are hardly underwear. They are works of art. They are Calvin Klein." With a hair flp and a grunt he turns saying " My god , where do they get the "talent" these days?" For those reading "Talent is the word used for the object being photographed. It could be a sheep or even a grapefruit. It would till be referred to as "The Talent. So the mystery of what a fluffer continues as they yell " Everybody in their places" I have a place marked where to stand and I go there. I hear " Good 'A" looks ready get the fluffer over to be now." I think cool I'm "B" so now I'll get to see what a fluffer is. I'm thinking someone putting more powder or fake sweat or whatever. A cleaning girl comes with one of those rainbow colored telescoping duster that can reacjh in hard to get places. The next thing i know she is tickling me with it. To be more specific in the only area I actually have coverd. I junp saying " Yo missy that's nice and all but just what the hel are you doing.?" She smiles and flirts and say " Why I'm your fluffer. Why do want somebody else?" I raise my han and say " Hold on " I point to the guy who I had been dealing with since I got there. saying " Yo Cornelius a word please?" Looking confused he gestures with his hands and shrugs mouthing " What?" I say " Don't worry it's not to ask you for your phone number. " I walk over and say " O.k. what's the deal?" He says " You know that Calvin prefers his ads to be .. .Let's say controversial , but legal. you follow?" I say " Not yet Cornelius , break it down just a tadmore fo my lowly "Talent " mind if you would be so kind." Hearing the barb in my voice he says " It's a priviledge to be one of Calvins boys. Many a career have been launched from ads such as these." Seeing the light still isn't on he lowers his voice and says " You need to be engorged , but not hard. Now do you see why the fluffer?" Finally getting it my sense of humor gets the better of me. I start laughing and can't stop. I get control and yell 'Oh Paully boy, are you out of your mind? These girls are here to tickle my dust?" Irritated and impatient he says " Dust? What are you talking about? They are here to provide the proper ambiance for this shoot. Don't embarrass me." Realizing I did say yes to this job and have no one to blame but myself. I say in a French accent " O.k. I'll go sans fluffer." Looking at the girl I say " No offense,I know this equipment a little better than you do." We do the shoot and Paul won't talk to me for months. The ad never gets published. I get paid and told that Calvin chose to go with someone younger. If you remember there was an ad in the 80's that was very contravertial as to the young nature of the boys and their poses. Someone said it was a message that America could do without. It went to court and lost. To which Calvin replied " The ad speaks for itself, any lascivious overtones are a reflection of the mind preceiving them. I apologize for nothing. I will take my business elsewhere if it offends this great nation ." The truth they were just photos of teenage boys in underwear nothing more. It's the viewer who chooses to pervert the meaning of the image. Wow, I could never have predicted that story coming out today. I want to thank one of my readers who suggested to me to let loose with my writing rather than try to rail it in. Thanks, you know who you are. Goodnight Jody