The Lesser Of Two Evils

My mother returned alone. I ask "Where's Lori?" She answers "You two make quite the pair. She risks going to jail just so she can go to the prom with you. Why didn't you tell me about this?" In shock I answer "Because I had no idea she had plans of breaking out and coming down. Did you meet her mother?" She smiles and says "We had a nice long talk and everything is calm for the time being. She really thinks highly of you.Why didn't you mention your little trip upstate? Never mind , I don't I think want to know."  I ask "Mama, I asked another girl to the prom. What should I do?" Shaking her head she replies "Tread carefully where others peoples feelings are involved.."  I ask "So was anything resolved? I mean, can Lori stay until the prom?' She smiles and says "That all depends on you and how you plan on handling it." I ask warily : "Meaning what exactly?" She looks har in my eyes and says  "What do you think I mean by that?" I say "Promise not to have sex with her, stay out of trouble and work on my college applications essays." My mother smiles and says "Yes you got it exactly. On the first try even, very impressive." I ask "May I call her at her home?" She turns and walks away.Mr's Zaccardi answers "Hello?"?"  I say “Hey it’s Jody. How are you?” She replies “Better now that my little delinquent is safe and sound. I read you’ve been the busy little bee. Nice photos of you in the Patent Trader.” I say “Thanks, It’s been a long season. Is Lori around?” Mrs. Z. says “Just how do you mean that young man? I hope not in terms of that cute little nick name you’ve drummed up for her.” I answer “No and has your daughter shared with you her loving and affectionate nick name she refers to me by?” She answers “No, of course she didn’t get to that part of it. What pray tell has my delicate little desert flower dubbed you?’” I reply “Loser, Just plain loser. Not very imaginative if you ask me.” Mrs. Z Answers “Yes and lump is quintessentially clever isn’t it?” Ii say “Point taken. Is you precious wild flower receiving visitors today?’ She answers “I have no idea what her intentions are. But you know you’re welcome here anytime. I think she’s out buying a prom dress.” I say “I’ll see you this afternoon Mrs. Z.” She answers “Angela please calls me Angela.” I reply “O.k. Angela see you later then.”  I decide to summon the courage and call Theresa “Mrs. Semproni answers and I ask “May I please speak to Theresa? This is Jody.” I wait a few minutes and she answers “Yes this is Theresa.” I say “Hi Theresa It’s Jody.”  She says “Oh, hey Jody what’s up?” I say “Listen I have a problem and I want to talk about it with you.” She says “Sure. What’s up?”  I begin “Theresa, do you remember my girl fiend Lori?” She says “Oh, that’s what this is about. Yeah I saw her today when I went shopping for s dress. She picked out a really nice one. In fact we were trying them on together.” Feeling not so comfortable I blurt out. “Theresa, I didn’t ask her. She just showed up at sectionals last night saying she broke out to com to prom.” “Theresa laughs and says “What am I supposed to do with my dress?” Thinking to myself I wish I was anyone but me right now. I say “Look Theresa I’ll do whatever you decide. I asked you to go and you where kind enough to say yes. We’re friends I owe you that at least.” She says “Would you hold on for a second please?” I say “Sure.” She returns saying “Jody, there’s somebody here who wants to talk to you.” I say “She doesn’t happen to be short and round does she?” Someone else answers “Listen loser I wouldn’t g to the prom with you if you paid me. Theresa is way to good for you. Why don’t you do us all a favor and just disappear.” Theresa comes back o the line and says ”Look we are friends so let’s stay that way and I’ll see you at our lockers like usual. Is that o.k. with you that I don’t go to the prom? You guys should try an work this out. You both obviously care about one another. Besides I’m a junior it’s really no big deal for me.” I reply “Thanks Theresa I think I will end up regretting this decision. But you’re really a sweet heart.” She says “That’s what all the boys say. Good Luck” We hang up and I go sit at the table where Unc is having coffee. He’s reading the paper and I say “Unc, What do you think I should do about this prom thing?”  Unc just looks at me for a moment and returns to reading his paper. That means I should figure it out for myself. I sit there with him having a bowl of Captain Crunch. Maybe removing the skin from the roof of my mouth will uncover the answer. Mama comes over and sits with us. She says “Jody you may not want to hear this, but there isn’t always a neat clean answer for messy things in life. All you can do sometimes is pick the lesser of two evils” I just listen and continue to feel hopeless. She adds “There are people who would love to have the problems you have right now. One day you’ll look back and say ‘I wish things were this simple now.’” I get up to go shower and sarcastically say as I leave “Well thanks for all the help. My options just seems so much clearer now.” Showered and dressed  I jump in my Mustang and think Well Daiseybell at least we have each other. I drive to the flower shop and buy 2 big bouquets of flowers and write notes to both girls The first: Dear Theresa; Thank you so much for being understanding and being a friend. Some guy will be very lucky to find you. I owe you one Feel free to call it in whenever. It has no expiration date. .Your Friend and locker neighbor Jody The second one: Dear Lori; For whatever reason we are in this situation together. I know you know that I love you. We agreed to live out lives and make room when we could because of our situation. I’d love to take you to prom, but not at the expense of who I am. I’ll be at the bowling alley all day. Love Jody I dropped both of these bouquets at their respective doorsteps and headed to the one place where the rules made sense. I sat at the snack bar and talked to Julie. She seemed both amused and entertained by my predicament. Finally she says “Come on let’s go out back and burn one it make all this that much funnier.” I followed her and we smoked a joint and laughed about anything and everything. Coming back in she fixed us lunch and we pigged out on grilled cheese and tuna sandwiches, French fries with gravy and chocolate egg creams.  I kept her company until I started feeling a little normal again.  I got up to go get a lane and bowl, when I saw Lori walking towards me. I ran and gave her a hug and kiss and pulled her to introduce her to Julie. It seems they knew each other from previous encounter. I’d have to find out about this later. Lori I ask “May I talk to you in private?” Julie excuses herself to go do something in the back. I take Lori’s hand and walk her to the bar where we sit at a table by the window. The bartender comes and asks "Jody would you and the lovely lady like to have two “Tenpin Specials?” I say “Thanks Hank that would be awesome.” Lori looks at me and I raise my hand saying “Cool your jets woman you’re n my hood now so be cool. Besides you like beer don’t you?” Lori leans forward and asks “So how was the coony?” I pointed to my head demonstrating I didn’t have anymore and that it was already there. She adds “Don’t worry I have plenty of my own. I just never knew you smoked.” I shrug and say “When I want to be distracted from what’s bothering me I do.” There beers come and Lori goes to pay. Hank holds up his hand and says “For our resident stud they’re on the house. Congratulations Jody.” I say “Thanks Hank” He leans in to me and whispers “Nice rack on her man. Wait at least a couple of hours before you drive o.k.?” So we sip our beers and Lori begins by “Look I have a confession to make. I didn’t just come down for the prom. My mom's sick and is going through chemo I have a months pass to help take care of her. Do you think Julie would front you an ounce?” I say “What make you think she deals?” She smiles and winks saying “Who do you think taught me how to boost cars?” I’m surprised and say “Her? Julie?” Lori shakes her head and says “No, her brother Junior.”  We used to go out for a while before you and I. Julie wasn’t to happy about her brother dating me. She seems smitten with you though. Have you guys been together?” I say “Lori please that’s none of your business. I don’t ask about you and Junior do I?” She replies “You can if you want. We had 2 kids together. His mom takes care of out love children until I’m old enough to take them myself. I think that's why she isn’t so happy with me.” I shake my head and say   ”You’re a freak you know that? Tell me about your mom. Is she going to make it?” Lori shrugs and says “Who the hell knows I am not a doctor. She’s meaner than a snake. She seems to like you though.” I answer “It’s because we’ve been lovers since you’ve left.” Lori smiles, takes a big swig of beer in a red plastic cup and says “We’ll at least one of us is getting a little action.” I wave to Hank to give us 2 refills and toss him my car keys. He smiles and “Coming right up Romeo. Glad to see you follow the rules. You’re going to thank me one day for this.” I walk over and lay down a twenty saying “Let me start thanking you today.” In a fake Irish accent he goes “Oh Laddy you shouldn’t an gone and done that now. I’m just a humble bah keep.But I tank ya jest da same.” I say “Don’t quit your day job just yet Hank.” I go over to the to snack bar and ask “Julie, you think you  could get me an order of pie ala mode to go please?” She looks over at Lori and then me and says “In the back buster now.” I walk back with her and she puts her hands on her hips and says “Please tell me you’re not going out with the likes of her now.” I say   “Julie, yeah I am. You know she was away for that job with the lawyers Corvette. We’ve been writing and flirting for over a year now. She’s down to take care of her mom. I wondered if you would do it for me.” She shake her head and grabs my face and kisses me “You and those damn green eyes. It’s like the devil's in them and I just can’t say no. I’ll tell you one thing you watch the counter while I go fetch your stash.” I go tell Lori to stay put and wait while I watch the snack bar.  She nod and blows me a kiss. Julie comes back and hands me a paper bag and whispers to me “$90 because that’s Panama Red and the best around enjoy it. When you going to pay?” I say “Maybe tonight no later than tomorrow I promise.” I go back over to Lori tapping my coat pocket and say “This is for your mom right?” She nods and I say hold on “I call Angela and say “Hey, I’m here with your daughter and before I do something stupid I want to ask you if you wanted an ounce of really good pot. Lori told me you were sick and that it might help you.”  Angela’s quiet for a minute and says “From you I trust. How much?” I say “$90 an ounce. It’s Panama Red. I barely smoke at all. So if you want it I got it.” She says “Jody thanks. One more thing, I know my daughter and if you do sleep with her please use birth control for both of your sakes.” I say “You got it Angela, see you in a few.” I go back to Lori and say  “Ready, let’s go bring this to your Mom.” Standing up and looking mad she says “Is that who you just called? You know you’re just a little too goody two shoes for my taste. What you don’t trust me?” I answer “Trust has to be earned. Let’s start by doing the right thing now and giving this to your mother. You trusted me enough to ask for it. Trust me enough to bring it to her and not embarrass you.” Still frowning she says “Whatever let’s go.” 

.  I say  “Come with me for a minute.” I walk over and ask “Hank may I have my keys back? Hank says “Sure thing Jody. Who is this beautiful young lady?” I say “Her name is Lori and I’m trying to talk her into going to the prom with me. So far I’m not sure if it’s going as well as I’d like.” Hank says “Lori is it?” Lori says “That’s right”  Hank says “Well Lori it seems to me you could do a damn sight worse than my buddy Jody over here. So what do you say you cut my poor homely friend here a break and make him your escort for this magical evening?” Lori laughs saying “Well since you put that way alright I will Hank. We don’t want him crying in his soup now do we?” Hank says “No lass I suppose you’re right about that. So then you too have a wonderful evening and don’t be strangers. Oh and one more thing lass. Please don’t go breaking this boys heart it’s fragile as it is.” Lori says “I’ll do my best not to Hank.” Hank says “Well you can’t ask for anymore than that can you?”  We go out to the car and it’s the first time Lori has driven in the new Daiseybell. I walk around and let her in. Before I get in she reaches over to unlock the door and I start her up. I look over at her and say “So what do you think?” She smiles and says "Sounds like the little lady packing a few more horses than last time." I floor it and show her a little of what she's capable of. Lori switches on the radio and a song by Jeffferson Starship is playing. . It’s called “With your love” Still till this day this song brings back vivid memories of that time. If you want to her the song click on the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gyp0f8L5nd4 We fly around town and finally park by the lake at Leonard park. This song becomes our song. After we go to her  house to drop off the medicine for Angela. Lori goes to her room and shuts the door. I stay out and talk to Angela about her illness and what has been going on since we last talked. it seems she has permission and isn't a.w.o.l. I ask  "So what did you and my mother talk about?" She smile and says "Nice try. It's between us so stay out of it." I raise my hands in defense saying "O.K. I surrender." We watch Star Trek together. I knock on her door to say goodbye and to make ure I should get prom tickets etc.. Long story short We did go to the prom. It was like most any other prom. We had a good time and she went back to jail to finish out her sentence. Mrs. Z made a full recovery.Well this concludes this series of stories. Thanks for reading and Good night. Jody

Snapping out of it, A lift and Return of the lump

I am going to briefly go over what happened up to this next story. We won everything, yet somehow it was hollow after Steve's death. I think a part of me was wrestling with the inescapable fact that I had lost my innocence when it came to the dangers of this sport. Our quest to beat Yorktown and Vinny Savastano came to fruition. He even petitioned to have another championship to give him second chance. We beat them and set a new team state record .We were heroes in school and I should have been on top of the world. All we had left was the individual qualifications. I blew the first 3 events and was just about put out of the running. When we had a break in the rotation due to an excess number of athletes qualifying. John was on top of the world and looked like a shoe in to win the all around. I was sitting in the corner when I hear the familiar slapping of work boots approaching . I look up to see none other than John Lawler. He reaches down and gives me a hand up saying  "Come with me."  He walks to the fire exit and motions with his head for me to follow him. I run to put my sneakers on like flip flops with the backs smashed down, check to see if anyone is looking and scoot out the back with Lawler. He takes out a pack of Camels taps two out and offers me one I say " No thanks John I'm good." He tilts his head sideways letting his long hair cover half of his face. He sweeps it back over his head and says "I'm not asking. Light that baby up, we got some talking to do." I take the cigarette and lean in to the tiny bright orange light. Exhaling John says  "Do you remember my last year in this meet?" I shake my head no. He continues " You're god dam right you don't because I screwed the pooch and blew my last chance in high school." He takes another deep drag and I copy him. I say " Believe me I know I messed up here and that it's basically over for me." Lawler takes his cigarette out with his left hand and grabs me with his right pushing me into the wall of the brick building. Just as I hit he flicks his cigarette at my face. Snapping my head to the side I quickly dodge it as it explodes behind me raining sparks all over me. They burn but I don't move. Lawler gets in my face and I can smell beer on his breath. He says  "Where the fuck are you hiding in there? Poor baby lost his friend and didn't make states what a fucking pussy. You make me sick. I can't believe I wasted gas money and a night out  to come watch this travesty. Listen up wit, you got 3 events left 1 of them being rings. If you blow this meet, I'm coming down and whooping your ass in front of all these nice people, your pathetic parents and your little black friend too. If you think I'm playing take a look in my eyes." With that he pulls me off the wall and pushes me towards the fire door. As I'm about to go in he grabs me by the collar and says in my ear " You might want to leave the cigarette outside star." I drop the butt and go back in. I go to put my shoes away and a slow heat starts to build in my chest. It feels familiar. Where do I know this feeling? My hands begin to shake and I start getting  goose bumps all over my body and shiver. There's the announcement for the meet to start again. I'm up on vaulting. I raise my hand and notice I'm not nervous or scared. I'm fucking pissed off and mad. Then with a little hop I start to run pumping  my elbows back as my knee drive forward. I continue to lean and pick up speed. My steps are right as I hurdle to the board. I explode out of my legs as I lean forward and drive my heels behind me and over my head. My hands jam into the horse as I'm blocking to rebound off with my arms. I squeeze every muscle and wait for just a microsecond before I pull my right arm straight down as if I'm ripping a giant piece of papaer.I can feel the resistance from centrifugal force. At the same time I pull my left arm straight behind my left ear and look up at it. I feel my body roll smoothly as I twist and flip in the air. Seeing the front of the room come around again I break out of the twist by pulling both arm simultaneously out to a swan dive position. I get ready to feel for the floor as I descend. I land with half of my foot on the crash mat and half on the gym floor. I don't move an inch. I just stuck the best vault of my life. I turn to the judge and look him straight in the eye and almost dare him to give me a bad score. My team runs and picks me up as the score of 9.3 is flashed. Holy shit the vault is only worth a 9.4. Good,one down two more to go. I can do this. Next comes Parallel bars. I wait for another 15 minutes until it's my turn . I look at the judge and salute with a slight grin. I run and jump on the board and fly to grab the bars in front of me.As soon as my hands touch I push my ass back and quickly fold into a very deep pike. I accelerate beneath the bars as I throw and release them behind me extending my legs. I fly for a moment and my pull my arms down in front to grab the bars again as I rise above them. I swing a pirouette  to set up in a handstand. I do my two big support swing skills. Then I drop under the bar and fly back up to land on my upper arms bent near the arm pit. I kick out and swing down with a beat to elevate me up so I can straddle and bring my legs to an L seat. A press to handstand  and I dismount to a perfect landing.I turn to the judge and bow. My score is an 8.9 my best so far. Now just rings and this baby is done. Mergardt asks " Jody who do you want to lift you to the rings?" It's my choice. I answer "Please go up in the stands and get Lawler.I want him to lift me." I  now go though my pre-ring mental prep. Which is basically getting as mad as I can . I am steaming and ready to tear someones head off. I walk to the rings as Lawler grabs around my waist to lift and still me. As he stills me he says "This ones for Steve,and all those who didn't get a chance to be here tonight. Now rock this fucker and show them who owns these rings." I barely remember the routine. I felt as light as a feather and was rock steady. I heard thunderous applause as I do my trick where It looks like I miss an iron cross. Just before I collapse I squeeze my lats and snap the rings into a perfect cross. After about 2 seconds I lift my head smile and wink. I swing through till I'm in a handstand. I bail for the dismount and am flying as I toss the rings behind me and do a double back somersault with perfect form to a stuck landing. Before I can even lift my arms Lawlers has me off of the ground and is squeezing me in a bear hug. The crowd gives a standing ovation and Lawler still won't let me breath as I hover above the crowd in his arms. I raise my arms and wave, He lets me down and says  "Welcome back. That's who I drove all the way from Connecticut to see." It turns out I won the all around by .1 tenth of a point. As Lawler goes to leave I break away from everyone and run to him and say "Thank you John. I had no idea what was wrong until you woke me up." He shakes his long hair and say " Wooah Wit, don't act like we're friends all of a sudden. Cause we ain't. Later man." He is walking away and he turns to look over his shoulder and says "I left a little present in your gym bag. And do me a fucking favor; call before you come up to Southern.."  I see him shake his head to get his hair how he wants it and then he's gone. It's like I'm in a dream a really good dream.  I run to see my family. Before I get there Mergardt asks "Jody, may I talk to you for a minute?" . I say "Sure". He says " I want you to feel free to say no. I 'm asking for John because he won't ask for himself. If you give up the all around spot and just go on Parallel bars John will be able to take your place." I looked hard into his eyes and said  "O.k.just answer me one question." he says "Sure shoot." I say looking right into his soul "If the tables were turned, would you be over there asking John to give up his spot for me? The truth coach tell me the truth."  He bows his head, thinks and turns to walk away.Part of me is hurt. part is offended, but I'm not letting anything spoil this night. As I run up the bleacher steps to see my family, I hear my name called " Hey Shultz you loser, Remember  me?" I turn to see a girl with her hands on her hips feigning offense. I say "Hello Lump!" I go to hug her and drag her like the first time to meet my family. Lori says "Hi everyone I'm Lori in case you forgot about me." My mother waves her over for a hug. She leans up and gives Unc a kiss on his cheek. She turns to my dad and says "Who are you?" I see this starting off on the wrong foot. I say "Dad, this is my friend Lori. I went to school with her until she moved upstate.." My Dad smiles and says "Nice to meet you Lori.How long are you here for?" Lori prickles and says "Why are you trying to get rid of me already?What am I not good enough for your son?" My dad says "Now just one minute I never said anything of the kind. I don't like words being put in my mouth." Lori snickers and says "Well what do you like being put in your mouth Daddyo? So where are we going for dinner to celebrate lucky boys victory?" My dad is getting ruffled and says "Now just one minute. I don't like being told what to do. Would you mind giving us a minute young woman?"  My mother and father are in discussion over Lori's behavior. I see my dad calming down. Unc not having said a word says "I'll be out front enjoying a smoke." Lori loops her arm in mine and says "So are you ready for prom? That's why I busted out. By the way I'm staying at your house till prom is over. I hope that's not a problem boy friend." She grabs me and gives me a very hard long kiss.Letting go she says "I've been waiting quite a while to do that. We can follow that to its logical conclusion anytime you're ready stud." She grabs me and we start kissing. My mother coughs to get our attention saying "Lori, may I talk to you for a minute?" She agrees and they go off to have a little chat. My dad comes to me and says "She's a little fresh if you ask me." I say  "Dad, just give her a chance please. I like her a lot. We've been writing for over a year now. So please cut her a little slack." We all pile into my dad's Mercedes and we drive back to Mt. Kisco. We stop at John's Best to eat and then Lori comes home with us just like that. Lori sleeps in my room and my mother puts me in the basement. In the morning Lori and my mother are gone. I have some quick thinking to do. What do I do about Theresa Semproni the girl I already asked to thr prom ? What about her mother? All these questions will be answered tomorrow. Thanks and good night. Jody

Saying Goodbye,Making a Stand and Learning to be a Good American!

I'm going to jump around a bit until something catches my attention. Gymnastics camp laid the foundation for my last year in High School. Unc and Abbey joined us on our last trip to Europe. Lori was still in the slammer. We still wrote each other 2-3 times a week. I became very close friends with Steve Scandale and John became jealous. John sabotaged both his car and our friendship. Before the season started we were all training at Dave Veit’s gymnastics school called Gymnastics Spectrum. There was a visiting gymnast named Richie Hawthorne who competed for Southern Illinois University helping out at the gym. Steve was performing a new complex dismount off of high bar and smashed the bar with his shins stopping his rotation. Ritchie Hawthorne had been drinking and didn't do his job spotting. Steve fell forwards after the collision with the steel bar. He landed on his throat with his legs continuing forward with the momentum of the crash breaking his neck. The ambulance arrived and immediately performed a tracheotomy so he could breath. They stabilized him and then rushed him to the hospital. He lived a week before he died. I didn't get to say goodbye. The one thing I did do was before all of this happened I wrote him a very long letter apologizing for not warning him about John tampering with his car. I explained my part in all of what happened and understood that it doesn't change the fact that it happened. I have only the expressed desire that it didn't, because I valued his friendship and would miss it greatly. If I had known these prophetic words were in reality final I pray I might have done something different. At his eulogy he left a message for all of us. "To the gymnasts, please don't stop your quest for excellence because of what happened to me. Find out what is inside of each and every one of you and then you shall all be free in the knowledge that you followed your dream, our dream to its final dismount. I will miss you all. Love, Your teammate, Steve Scandale. The days leading up to his funereal were a waking tragic dream. Merdardt gave both the boys and girls’ gymnastics team permission to leave class and come to his office whenever we wanted or needed to. For this next part I need to backtrack to the summer when I received a failing grade from Dr. Dicker. I appealed to the Regents board and was given a second chance to take it. This was under the condition that it be graded by several regents certified faculty members including Dr. Dicker. Having no choice if I wanted to go to college, I accepted. Following the exam I discovered I passed with a grade of 85. A few teachers felt it was low, but not unreasonable. It sure beat the 55 he gave me on the first one. During fall registration I saw an English elective course called “Crime and Fiction”. I registered for it only to find out the original teacher at the last minute trade with Dr. Dicker. I pleaded and begged only to have my requests ignored because all the other classes were full. So here I was having lost a close friend and being badgered by Dr. Dicker for not paying attention in class. I raised my hand only to be ignored and then decided to stand up and leave. I was walking to the door when he yells “Shultz god dammit I didn’t give you permission to leave Get back here and sit down, now. I keep walking and am through the door walking to Mergardt's office when I am grabbed from behind and smashed into the lockers. My face is pressed up against the metal vents of a locker. I can smell Love’s Baby Soft perfume and know that it’s a girls locker. I slowly crawl my hands up the side of the lockers. When I’m in a push up position I push off hard jamming my upper back into his chest. He stumbles backwards as I turn to face him. His face is just like it was that day last year. I can feel a quiet resolute anger burning in my chest and starting to consume me. Dicker’s bad comb over is in a mad fray as he charges me. My left arm and leg start my turn as I push off of the metal with the palm of my right. I leave my right leg behind me as I brace myself for his attack. His arms are out and almost touching me as I push off of my right leg and spin to my right. As he goes by I reach up with my left arm and grab his left arm just below the elbow and pull. I quickly place my right hand in the center of his back and push him as hard as I can. He slams into the locker with a loud bang. Holding and squeezing on to his left arm I twist it down and behind him. I pull up on the trapped arm and lean in to his hairy left ear which is facing me and say “How does it feel you greasy squirming maggot?” All I hear is “Unh” “Bit off a little more than you can chew. I’d say. If I so much as hear a fucking peep out of you, you’re going to be drinking your dinner through a straw and pissing blood for a month.” I turn around to his right leg and knee him as hard as I can in his thigh. I hear “Ahh!!” as I push him to slide down the lockers to the tile floor. Without looking back I walk to join my teammates in Mergardt’s office. There’s Debbie Amuso, Tracy Hamlin and Laura Rosen sitting with their heads bowed and crying. I walk around Mergardt’s desk and ask “I need to speak to you in private. It’s important.’ Mergardt gets up and says “Ladies stay here as long as you want. I need to go with Jody to see about something.” They sniffle and gesture with a nod they understand. We go into his back file room and close the door. He looks at me and says” Well what is it?” I tell him the scene exactly as it went down. Then I start to cry and say ”I’m sorry coach I know this year meant a lot to you , it means a lot to me as well. I tried to leave, but when he grabbed me and shoved me into the lockers I lost it." Mergardt places his hand on my shoulder and says "You know if we keep going to the well like this it's going to be dry one day. Let's go see the Colonel. I look up at him wiping my face and say in a broken voice "Dr. Lamonica?" Mergardt snickers and says "Cute. Let's get your ass out of this jam before you start getting into the next one. O.k.?" I smirk and give a tiny nod. As we come out of the file room together we hear arguing "Listen Marlene don't bother trying covering for that bastard I know he's here." Marlene says "You'll keep a civil tongue in your head if you know whats good for you Saul." Mergardt steps into the waiting area with Marlene and says " Any trouble here Marlene?" She smiles " No, just the usual adolescent complaints." Dicker starts to talk as Mergardt takes a quick step forward and says "Don't Saul, save it until we're at Dale's office. Jody come with us." Dicker yells " That little miscreant is here Marlene call the cops I want this psycho arrested." Marlene smiles and says "Why I'd be glad to, but which miscreant and which psycho are you referring to?" Dicker has spittle coming from his mouth and points saying with enough saliva to make Daffy Duck envious "That fucker right there." Marlene slaps her desk and stands up pushing her roll chair skidding into the wall knocking off papers from the shelves it hits. Then she says " That's it. I warned you about your language. Now get out of my office right now before I throw you out." Dicker leaves followed by Mergardt and trailing them is me. Before I can leave Marlene grabs me in her abundant busom and squeezes me saying "I know child. It hurts like the dickens but please believe me it does get better. I lost one husband to the war and another to the bottle. Believe me it gets better. Now just sit here for a minute before you go face them. It's going to be some show." She's patting my back and I can literally feel the love and concern she has flowing into me. I stop crying and she lets go and holds me at arms length saying " You have any problem with any of those men you come to old Marlene and I promise you I'll straighten them out right quick." She kisses me on my forehead and says "You sure do have some green eyes don't you." I just look up at the ceiling and shrug. Marlene says "Go on. You ready and remember what I told you." I say " I will and thanks I feel better" I turn and jog to catch up to Mergardt who is alone. I say " Where's my buddy?" Mergardt says "He wanted to get an early start on digging hiss own grave." We walk over to the administration building and go into the office to find the secretary waving us in to Lamonicas office. Dicker is sitting on a chair rubbing his leg. Mr Lamonca nods to Mergardt and says to me "So back for a reup for janitorial duty?" I say "It would seem that way I suppose." Dicker is still just sitting grinding his teeth. Mr. Lamonica starts "Let me see if I got this correct. Jody you just got up and walked out of class when Saul here followed you and you viciously attacked him for no reason. Then took it upon yourself to bring my good friend Rod here to bail your ass out. Is that what happened? Now's your chance boy speak your peace." I go over exactly what happened, how it happened and why it happened. Then I said "Mr. Lamonica since I'm leaving school I would like to say one thing." The principal nods and I say "This guy is like the kid who got beat up in grade school and now wants to take his revenge out on any kid he doesn't like. Except this time someone stopped him dead in his tracks. That someone was me. I'm not going to apologize to him after all the crap he's put me through. I am sorry we won't get a chance to beat Yorktown." Lamonica stares at me and says "Jody please take a seat." Then he says "Saul I'm not going to pretend I like you , because I don't. But I'll bet my job that if I call an emergency meeting in the gymnasium right now I 'll find at least 30 witnesses who saw you attack a student. Then I'm calling the district attorney and ask that you be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law for abusing a minor. Saul look at me when I'm talking to you. Do you see where this is going?" Dicker says " So you just want to let him walk? I think I'll take this up with my union rep and then call his parents. After that I'll go to the New York Times and give them a story about the abuses of power that are going on in this school district and how the tax payers money is being embezzled by the principle. What do you think of that Mr. War veteran principal?" Lamonica picks up the phone and calls his secretary to come in. Then he says "Claudia would you be a sweetheart and take my car to get us some lunch . I think we're going to be here for a while." Claudia replies " Sure Mr. Lamonica do you want me to fill it up for you?" Lamonica smiles and says "What would I do without you Claudia?" Claudia says "Not much if you ask me. High test right?" Lamonica reaches in his coat pocket and hands her the keys with $40 for lunch. As Claudia leaves and locks the door Lamonica closes the door and calmly walks back inside saying "Saul do you know how many bones there are in the human hand?" As Saul is turning to look at him Lamonica has got his wrist and is pushing on something because Saul drops to floor yelling " Oww Oww you're going to break it stop." Lamonica say " You're right about that. I am going to break it. But what's really interesting is how I'm going to break it. You see by squeezing my index and middle finger into your thumb I create the proper fulcrum necessary to snap the bones in your hand. That not only break it, but sever the ligaments attatched to your arm virtually leaving the hand useless without extensive surgery. Can you feel that? I'm just bein silly, of course you can. That's my thumb on your malleolus bone. After your hand breaks I just have to push gently in the right direction and that baby will pop right through your skin. Can you feel the bone starting to bow?" Saul is screaming now on the floor, writhing on his back begging " Please I won't do any of what I said please just let me go I promise it stops here." Completly ignoring what was said he continue "Interestingly enough it's actually a combination of 2 moves one from Aikido and another from jujitsu blended into one motion for maximum results. I learned from the man in the black pajamas who took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives Saul. What have you given? Why do you get to live?" Saul crying "I give up I will do or sign anything you like, just please just let me go, pahuleezze." Lamonica drops him and goes back to his chair and sits down. Mergardt goes over to Saul and helps him into his chair. Saul is holding his wrist.Finally Lamonica looks at me and says "What do you think I should do Jody?" I say "Without a doubt I think you should follow your conscience sir." Lamonica turns and asks "Rod we haven't had your input yet. What are your thoughts on the subject?" Rod says "It's hard to say on an empty stomach Dale. Why don't we wait for lunch and then I 'll give my opinion" Lamonica says "Quite right Rod never decide on an empty stomach. Costly mistakes are made that way.You see Saul how thoughtful Rod is? He doesn't make hasty comments or decisions for that matter until he has clearly thought them out. A lesson your gymnast here could sure use. Isn't that right jody?" I say "Yes sir message received loud and clear sir" We all sit in silence until Claudia returns with subs from Little John's Deli.. Lamonica says "Thank you so much Claudia. Please write a receipt for the record." He passes the subs out and then goes to his fridge and hands us all cans of Coke. We sit and eat our meatball heros and wait for Lamonica to talk again. He says "I'll be dammed I was down right peckish. How were your subs gentlemen?" Everyone mumbles good because they're still chewing. Then he says "Saul I want you to write up an agreement that will protect all of us. My lawyer will come to witness it and that should be that as they say. Are we all in agreement? Saul leads with "Absolutely I am doing it as we speak sir. Lamonica says " Splendid, I just knew we could come to an agreement if we laid our cards on the table and talked it out like men. I commend you Saul you took it better than most.I am proud of you. There maybe hope for you yet, seeing that now I find myself in your debt for demonstrating such a sense of fair play and justice. God dammit you're a good American sir. I'm proud to serve with you." Saul writes the agreement, the lawyer comes to witness and we all go back to our lives just a little more grateful than when we arrived. That's it for tonight good night. Jody

Bait and Switch,Loose Lips and A Trip to the Can

Come to find out, things were not as they appeared. Billy started these robberies in order to draw John Smith out into the open. As strange as it may seem I had nothing to do with any of it. The Banks clan and John Smith did hit some of the houses of kids who had made my life miserable over the years. Unc filled me in on the rest. I said " When are they going to bring the stuff here?" Unc smiled and said "Sit down. There are some things you need to hear. Remember when Billy came over and we went outside to smoke our cigars?" I nod "Remember when I told you we needed to stay away from John Smith?" I nod " Bobby went to and died in jail because of what John Smith did. Bobby was only driving. It was John had the gun. When they got caught Bobby kept his mouth shut and John blamed it all on him." I say "But what about all that stuff he told me and us going to the restaurant?" Unc says " Jest window dressin' boy jest window dressin" Unc continues "Boy as soon as you told me that Billy was the janitor..." Unc stops suddenly " I ask " What? Tell me." He continues " The reason he pulled all this foolishness was to keep you out of the way. Remember he's Buddy's brother and whether we like it or not that boy loves us. Nuttin' we can do 'bout that. So he explained that you can't keep your mouth shut" I interject saying "Hey who says I can't keep my mouth shut?" Unc laughs and says "The universe that's who. You're a lot of beautiful things. But you ain't and never gonna be no smooth ass criminal.It's as simple as that. I ain't even supposed to be telling you this. If Mr. Julius find out , you'll be writing me the next time we talk. You got a decision to make . You wanna be a gymnast or you wanna be like those guys. Cause as charming as they can be they all gonna wind up in jail or dead in the next 10 years. So go and chew your cud on that fo awhile." I couldn't believe that all of this was a charade to keep me out of the way. Now come to think of it I always wondered about Smith and that weird shit he pulled pretending to be Buddy's brother. I go back to Unc and ask "So what's going to happen if there is no big restaurant job?" Unc shakes his head and says " You ain't gonna leave me to my peace are you?" I smile and say " Nope so dish old man I want to hear it all." Unc snaps me quick look about the old man crack. I say "Sorry" Unc waves his hand like it ain't no thing but I know it is. He says "Billy says to me that night that he's got something that just can't wait. But he don't want you in the way. He says that if we hide it or make it secret then you're going to start snooping. Like you did. He says if we pretend to let you in then there's one less thing to worry about. I agreed as long as it was safe. While Johns is finding out that the restaurant is a set up, Billy and his family gonna put all that stolen shit, from all those homes in his house and drop the dime. Billy looks good to his parole officer and Smith as they say goes up the river. There's nothing else to tell. So if you got questions think of them now." I say " So all of this was just to put John Smith in jail?" Unc shakes hs head and say " You should have heard his first plan.It took me a while talkin' to him so he wouldn't end up back inside. Jody it's time to get all those gangsters out of your head. You have to pack for gymnastics camp tomorrow. So go on" I say " Thanks unc I love you" Unc says " I love you too Now skidaddle to bed ." I do as unc says and go to bed thinking of 50% less gangster stuff. Thanks and goodnight. Jody

Rough drafts,Personal Essays And A Need To Write Something Light

I have my new homework assignment. It's to write a personal essay before next Tuesday. I still feel the age old childhood sense of rebellion to being asked to do anything for whatever reason. In this case it's me asking to be able to take a writing course. Now being afforded that privilege how dare they ask me to write. Ah, the paradox of the human existence. Isn't it grand? So let's get down to today's topic. I am going to continue with the Fox Lane series. An interesting tidbit I alluded to but didn't expand upon is the extracurricular activities I participated in. While I was helping Billy with his janitorial duties I happened upon something that looked suspiciously like a diagram of various houses of various students. It didn't take me long to piece this puzzle together. An ex-con who went in for burglary and plans to enter other peoples homes. Billy came in as I was inspecting them . It went like this: Billy says "Well this certainly puts us in an awkward position." He raises his palm for me to stop and says "Please don't start with the 'Oh Billy, I promise not to say anything to anybody routine.' Truthfully it has worn a bit thin since my stint at the Osning country club for men. So what would you suggest we do?" Right now I'm thinking "fuck, fuck, fuck" Not a very good problem solving vocabulary, or ass saving one either for that matter. I choose the only option that has worked for me so far, honesty. Thinking fast I say " Billy I won't insult you with any promises or excuses. Here's what I'm thinking. I know some of the kids who live in these houses and some that aren't on there that should be. Let me help for a small cut and the promise you won't rob my house or hurt my family. How does that sound?" Billy doesn't say anything he sits down and justs stares at the wall. An activity I imagine he has a lot of practice at. In order to strengthen my case I continue "Look I've been in a lot of these homes and know the parents schedules. It could be very helpful and keep my own home safe to boot." Billy raises his eyes to look at me and my bowels just about release their rented occupants. Staring for a minute he finally says "When we're done here we go to your house and meet your family. From there I'll decide what will or will not happen. One thing I can promise is if you lie to me or double cross me or I even think you have you won't be doing gymnastics anymore. Are we clear?" Too scared to speak for fear I'll cry or shit my pants I simply nod. Billy walks over to me and says in a happy mood "Good so let's get some work done. Make me a list of all those you think have Art, jewelry, antiques things of value. Anything except electronics they're really hard to move and even harder to fence. I sit down and start listing first the kids I flat out don't like. John Johnson the kid who stabbed me in my forearm in 2nd grade. His family has horses, expensive collectible cars, coins, stamps. pottery. So it went like this until he was done and checked the list. He nods, goes to his locker opens it and tosses me a fifth of Jack Daniels. He slams the locker shut with his black satin racing jacket on his shoulder and says "Long and deep like you mean it Jody. This is our promise to one anothe." I take the bottle unscrew the cap, exhale and up end it letting it go down my throat like a fire swallower at the circus. After about a three count, which is as long as any strength requirement in gymnastics, I pull it away, wipe my mouth and pass it to him. Billy grabs it and takes a long pull, after which he reaches out his hand for the cap. I hand it to him and we walk to the employees parking lot. Before we leave Billy opens his locker and puts the bottle back and take out a box of professional looking drafting tools puts them into a familiar looking old fashioned doctors bag. As we leave the basement Billy punches his time card and we hop in to his 1976 orange AMC Gremlin. I'm a little surprised and Billy looks at me saying "I've modified this baby a bit. For my purposes it handles better and is less conspicuous than a muscle car like yours." We drive to my house and I introduce Billy to my mother and Unc. It's dinner time so he joins us and is as polite as can be. He is a real charmer. I go to help Unc clean the table and Billy is already helping we wash and dry the dishes. Billy pulls out 2 Monte Cristo cigars and Unc's eyes light up. Billy nods and Unc and him go outside to have a smoke. I ask " Mama where do the Gilmores live?" She replies "Why on earth would you want to know that? They're dreadful people." I answer "You don't want to know." She squints and says "They live of off Trinity Pass on Indian Hill Rd. if you must know." Unc and Billy come back in Billy says " Thank you so much for inviting me. I enjoyed it very much. I have to go now, so good night." I walk Billy out and he turns to me and says "We got a deal. Keep thinking of homes., I want this all said and done by the end of the week. By the way I gave Unc a little present I hope he likes it." I ask " What did you give him?" Buddy told me he is as fast as anyone he ever saw with a knife. So I gave him one of mine." I start to ask and am interrupted with his palm again "No and I made a promise to him so don't ask me again. Later." He hops in his Gremlin and drives off slowly. Unc comes up behind me and puts his arm around me saying " That was good thinking. I always was worried about when they would end up hitting our place. So you did good." Unc shows me the knife, flicks it open and says "You're old enough to learn this now, so pay attention. There are three rules #1-Somebody is going to die if a knife is involved $2-You will be the one laying there bleeding to death if you don't strike first. $3- Always thrust in and upward, don't slash." Before I could grab the knife Unc jabbed me 3 times quick in the stomach. Somehow he had flipped the knife around backwards so it wouldn't hurt me. Then he said "You sure you want it?" Suddenly I changed my mind. Who was I kidding I wasn't about to jab and kill anyone. I said "You keep it, I'm no where near ready to use one on another person." Unc grabs me and hugs me " I'm proud of you boy. It's a good sign when you know yourself. You're right. You aren't a killer. Be proud of that fact." I smile and feel lighter somehow that I'm not carrying this secret alone and that I don't have to lay awake at night wondering if I have the guts to use a knife. I said "So Billy explained our deal, and why it happened." Unc laughs saying "Jody don't you think for one minute that he didn't want you to see those plans, 'course he did. He don't know anybody in Pound Ridge besides you. What we got to do is think of the best way to play it is all. You best tell him 'bout your relatives that live here too." I say "Oh crap,I didn't even think of that." So the days pass by and a surge in house robberies is all anyone can talk about at school. As I walk by in the lunch room I hear "Did you here the Gilmore's house was robbed. Everything, even the cars. Somehow they knew they were away on vacation." I'm in the basement with Billy and guess who walks in. John Smith " John says "Hello Jody, Long time no see. I see once again you are right in the middle of it." Billy says "Give John the last bunch of names you came up with." I do and explain how to get there and all that I know about them. Billy goes over to the table and shows John the plans to this fancy restaurant in Bedford Hills. Billy comes over to me and says "I got one more thing for you to do and then your done." He tells me what it is and I go home. I explain to Unc what I have to do and he decides to come along. Unc says "Lets go down to the basement and make room in the crawl spaces and closets." We do it the next night, which is Saturday. Unc invites My mother and me out to a very fancy restaurant in Bedford Hills called Spasso's. It's heritage stretches back to early colonial times. It's rumored the John Jay and Aaron Burr both dined here on occasion. There is a plethora of Antiques and rare collectibles here. It's also being cased for a job by none other than Unc and I. I go to the bathroom and write down everything I see that's valuable and where it is. I check out the windows and locks. Unc is covering the other end . He's in the kitchen thanking the chef for such a wonderful meal. After dinner mama drops us off at the bowling alley for moonlight bowling. Unc looks at me and says " No drinking you hear?" We walk in and the gang has 2 lanes filled with good bowlers. We go over to join them . I see Billy throw a bowlling bowl and am impressed. He returns from his shot and sits next to unc and I at a table behind the lanes. I say "Shit Billy you can tear the cover off of a bowling ball. Unc briefs him while I take Billy's shots. Then I show Billy everything I have and Unc takes Billy's shots We all bowl have a good time. Unc at the end says " Tell you what you make this $25 shot and I'll get you a pitcher of beer. I slam it and Unc collects the money because it's illegal for minors to gamble or win money. We drink our pitcher and Unc finishes explaining the final part of the plan. Everything is in place and Mama picks us up and we go home to sleep. Like I am going to right now. Good night. Jody

Death And Taxes,Rasta Rage And There Is A Solution

Dancing, death and a lot of unexpected bills have been getting free rent in my head for the last few days. Tonight was Ammba's yearly dance recital. This morning was the school expo that shows what the students have been working on all year. Last night my dog of 16 years past away. Though I feel normal grieving pangs, I 'm also buoyed up with the gratitude that Cherek had an amazing life and her loved ones were there to hold her in her last moments. I actually could feel her soul pass. Something beautifully sad and freeing as she let go from her final struggle. I've been in a strange in between place all day. It becomes very easy for me to start thinking of myself as different or unique. This thrusts me into a place of comparison and judgement. When I get like this the best thing for me to do is to reach out and make an effort to help someone else. It doesn't really matter who or what I do in order to be helpful. By allowing myself to be of service to others I am magically freed from this melancholy prison I've built. As I review my day I realize that there were moments when I focussed on others instead of wallowing in my own in my problems. So Ammba did wonderfully and shined as the dancer that's inside of her. The school expo went smoothly even when a potential awkward moment presented itself. So all in all today in and of itself was just fine. It's me that tries to throw the baby out with the bath. It's astonishing the power of negative thinking and its subsequent downward spiral that can virtually obliterate any hope for something positive. For me it crashes through all the positive things I've built and starts finding blame and fault regardless of provocation or reason. Ironically even knowing I'm in this place triggers an even stronger sense of self recrimination and intolerance toward everyone and everything. The advice I give my daughter is to treat these powerful feelings like you would a good friend who is behaving badly. Tell them you're sorry they are having a bad day, but that you are choosing not to join them. Ahh the wisdom from the armchair that flows so free and easy. An example of this was yesterday when I went to pick up my daughter at a new house. I asked her to please wait outside so I could find it. To make a long story short she was trying but couldn't open the lock. The mother of this house came out to chastise me and comment on my poor parenting in front of my daughter. Had I not seen the look of frustration on Ammba's face at the fact this woman was making things not only worse for her , but for the whole situation. I bit my tongue and said "Thank you and good bye." as we drove away. I was shaking mad and felt like taking it out on her. When suddenly I tried a different track. It went like this: Pulling over and parking in blockbusters parking lot. I said "Ammba I understand that you did everything you could and that it's not your fault or even Wilmas for that matter. This has to do with feelings. Do you like to talk about feelings that you're not proud of or wish you didn't have?" Ammba face relaxes as she realizes she has been validated and is not in any trouble. She replies "No Papi you know I don't. Usually you have to drag them out with that magic key you have that unlocks the feelings vault." I say " What do you do when you know I'm mad and pretending not to be?" Ammba smiles and says " Hey Papi I got one too don't I?" I say " Yes you do. It happens to be the same key. The one of trust and honesty. So I want to share what I felt and why. For some reason when I say them out loud to someone they lose their power over me." "Papi, so by telling your feeling it's like the universe recognizes them for what they really are. They're feeling and not facts right?" I smile warmly and I reply "Somebody has been paying attention at meetings haven't they?" Ammba says " Yes and stop stalling, spill the goods daddyo." I say " O.k. When mommy and I broke up she kept in touch with all her old friends who used to be my friends too. So there are times I feel left out, even if I really don't want to be in that environment. For example whenever I pick you up at Cranky's house. He acts weird and won't let me in even though we used to be friends, and feel fine just walking into my house whenever he wants. Today triggered those feeling and I got mad. The heart takes longer to understand than the head." Ammba says " Did you see my face I felt like screaming 'Wilma shut up, you're just making it worse.' I knew you were mad. That's why it's so important to always tell each other the truth." I say "I couldn't have put it better myself" I get out of the car to go into Blockbuster when I realize I left my keys in the ignition. Ammba is just getting out and I say "Ammba don't shut the door. She pretends to shut it and I say again " Ammba really don't please don't shut the door." She smiles and makes a big defiant gesture of shutting the door. I yell " No, what are you doing? I told you not to close the door." I see her face as it dawns on her that I was telling her the truth. She says "Papi I thought you were playing opposite day with me. Laughing so hard I'm coughing i say "I know and what if I said 'don't close the door'?" She laughs and says " Nope I still would have closed it. It's funny isn't it?" I say " Absolutely now see if you can get you arm in the small crack in the window." Ammba is on tip toe with her arm in the window only millimeter away from the lock. Finally she pops it and we are back in business. Driving to the pizza parlor Ammba asks "Papi remember in New York at Union Square when I had to pull you away you were so mad? I used my key then didn't I?" I say "You sure did kid. It went like this: One fine summer day just before twilight we were walking in Union Square enjoying all the madness going on around us. The are vendors selling everything from miniature kites to costume jewelry. There's a band playing with a large group of people dancing. There's an impeach Bush rally and bunch of other stuff. I start to take pictures and suddenly some Rasta guy yells from across the square " Picture bwoy da jest stop dat fore I come dover der und mak you sorry mon" I 'm not paying attention because he's so far away . I see through the lens that he's running towards me " Dats it mon you don lahst you mine mon. I gonna teach you a lesson mon! and yowa little gurl too mon!" I realize now he's talking about me and threatening Ammba. I start towards him with the expressed intent of putting him down quick and hard so he doesn't get up. He in my face and suddenly Ammba jumps in between saying " Papi no" I push her behind me and get ready to pummel some Rasta rage into the ground. Next thing I know she's between us again saying " What? Are you going to kill him? Right in front of me. If not then lets go. NOW PAPI" I see the guy yelling and realize Ammba's right what the hell am I going to do? The first rule of adult fighting is don't get into it unless you're willing to finish it so there are no rematches. I had explained this to her as to why most adults don't fight. Not that they're scared , but rather that there is no end or rules involved. The Rasta guy is yelling "Datz right mon yowa litts gurl save yuh today. Yuh du had a meetin to see jah mon and die da driver bati bowa to take you dare.". Ammba has my hand and we are walking away calmly. She looks at me and sys " Meeting, now papi , before you end up starting world war 3. I went to an A.A. meeting and dealt with my feeling. Somebody said " Anger is just a fancy flashy suit for fear. It's not even in season." It was what iIneeded to hear. I'll never forget that . So when I get mad now I try to ask myself "Jody what are you afraid of?" Ammba and I look at each other and say "Feelings, the uninvited guest to the party." Well that's it for tonight. Thanks and good night. Jody

11Wpix,Steganography And Warp Factor 365

This picks up as I walk out of Mrs. Zaccardi's bathroom. Exhaling and centering myself so I can speak from my soul, I sit and ask "O.k. I listened to you will you listen to me?" She tilts her head ever so slightly, folds her hands resting them on her lap, and slowly blinks her eyes with the tiniest of nods to acknowledge she will. I begin by saying "I'm obviously a new satellite in Loredana's orbit, but the gravitational attraction is there never the less. For me to spin off suddenly and exit her life so cowardly now that the going has gotten tough, doesn't sit right with me. I've been raised to follow my truth where ever that leads and act according to my conscience. If this means not complying with your wishes , than so be it. I apologize if that seems impudent or disrespectful. It's certainly not my wish to get off on the wrong foot with you, but you're obviously not someone who can be bull shitted." She smiles and pats my knee firmly saying " You aren't by any chance a Star Trek fan are you?" I lift and spread my middle and ring finger into the Vulcan greeting gesture and say " Live long and prosper. Ahead warp factor 2 Mr. Sulu." She gets up and turns on he T.V. to channel 11WPIX. She says "It's coming on in a few minutes we can watch it together if you like." I say "Affirmative, that would be most logical." She gets up and goes into the kitchen and brings back a plate of home mde oatmeal raisen cookies and a pitcher of iced tea. She says "Help your self, this is usually a double feature. We can talk after start trek." We watch Star Trek. It's the episode where the crew on a mission to evacuate the population of the lone planet Sarpedon before its sun Beta Niobe novas, Spock, Kirk and McCoy beam down to investigate why sensors indicate no humanoid life remaining on the planet. They discover a "library" staffed by Mr. Atoz ("A to Z") As usual Kirk saves the day at the very last second and witty dry inside trek jokes are shared among the crew in the final moments. She turns to me smiling and says "Jody where would you go if could go anywhere in anytime?" I answer "Hmmm well it would be tough to choose between the Renaissance, the dawn of man kind or maybe somewhere in the future. What about you ?" "Angela" I say "Angela?" "Yeah, that's my name. If we're close enough to watch star trek together, then I'm willing to risk being on a first name basis with you, Jody." I ask " Well where would you go?" Angela covers her mouth with her hand while resting her head on an extended index finger by her temple. She then says " The Renaissance sounds good. I'm also interested in the times of the ancient Greeks. After that probably the dark ages with knights of the round table." The Oscar Meyer Bologna song makes It's debut. We watch one more star trek This is the one with Abraham Lincoln. After she switches the T.V. off and says "It's your funeral pal. I really like you. If you want to jump into this hell with us be my guest. At least I can watch star trek with you." I go and give her a hug and say "At the very least Angela, at the very least." I leave and am touched about what just happened We keep in touch over the next weeks and find out Lori is tried as a juvenile and is sentenced to one year at Burnt Hills home for juvenile girls. Lori is immediately shipped there and I don't see her. What does happen is we write each other everyday. Thanks to my dad I even put a little secret message into every letter. My dad would write to friends in Europe before W.W.II and put his real thoughts secretly under the postage stamp. The weekend I get my mustang I tell my mother and unc not to expect me until late. I call Angela to see if she wants to take a little road trip. Her answer and following adventure go like this: Angela says "Hell yeah, I'll pack us some snacks and will pay for gas." I pick her up and we're off to see Lori in prison. It's a 3 hour drive North up through Albany and Schenectady. Burnt Hills is a small rural upstate N.Y. town . What separates it from it's cousins is the largest female juvenile detention facility in the eastern U.S.. We arrive and are searched photographed and finger printed. Angela assures me this is all routine. We wait in a large room with benches until buzzers ring and metal doors unlock and slide open to have Lori escorted out. She's wearing what looks like red doctors scrubs. She sees me and her Mom and shows no emotion. Her mother whispers "Give us a few minutes I'll come get you. Theres a waiting area down the hall." I sit in the waiting room and see a parade a broken hearted mothers crying and praying for their girls. I'm starting to get a little sad and scared. The girls here look like serious bad asses. Angela waves to me and I follow. She escorts me to a small private room with metal tables and chairs bolted to the floor. There's a guard in the room and Angela puts her hand on my chest and says "Remember what we talked about and be strong for her." I go sit across from Lori and am instructed that no touching or foul language is permitted. I sit there and wait for Lori to say something . A minute goes by and she justs looks at the floor. Finally I say in a James Cagney voice "Yo Bonnie, I told you we shouldn't a oughta pulled dat last heist. The old gang send der best sweet heart." Lori doesn't smile she just keeps staring at the floor. Finally she looks up with hate in her eyes ready to spit venom. Before she can I say " I didn't come up here to get shit.." The guard interrupts saying " Next foul word and you're out of here kid, understand?" I nod and say " Yes" Lori smiles and says " So how was the ride up sweet heart?" I say " I got a sweet ride. If you ever get out of here let me know so I can put a Chapman lock on it." Finally a tiny smile as she looks over to see if the guard is looking and mouths "F---Y--" I say "After our first 2 kisses I'm interested." Lori asks "How did you finish the year in gymnastics?" I answer "Just as you predicted honey I'm a big fat Loser." She winks and says "Well that just goes with out saying doesn't it" She folds her arms and says " Quid pro quo time bucko You do know what that means don't you." I answer " Of course it has something to do with your DSM evaluation doesn't it?" Pursing her lips in a faux kiss she says " Yeah it's right next to yours about attatchment disorders and wetting the bed." I say "So enough foreplay let's get to it. Is it worth it for me to keep trying to get through that impenetrable wall of yours?" Lori looks at me and says "I want to say yes, but the truth is I'm a real live loser and will just drag you down with me. I like writing to you . Let's just keep it at that. Your free to see other woman until I get out." I laugh "Well isn't that delightful, paradoxical and contradictive. While simultaneously having overtones of being both a megalomaniac and misanthrope." Searching my eyes she says "Yes, thanks so much for that insight Narcissus. Boning up for the S.A.T.'s I see. Weird we really don't bring out the worst in one another do we?" I wink and say "The jury's still out on that one." Now she really laughs and starts to cry as do I. We sit silent for several minutes. Lori suddenly calls out "Guard I'm ready to go back." I go "Pssst! Check out the steganography I sent you, and here I thought you were clever. Tsk tsk." Lori holds her and up saying " I'm sorry 2 minutes please matron." The guard nods and returns to her chair on the other side of the room. " O.k. you got my attention. I read everything you sent me. What the hell is steganography?" I grin and say " Let's just say I left you a message where only you would be able to find it." Lori smiles and says "Cool, maybe you're not such a loser." I say "And maybe you're not such a lump." Lori leaves and Angela and I drive 3 hours home.on the way home I ask " Angela you guys are a lot alike. Sort of like chestnuts, hard on the outside and soft on the inside. I don't know if it will help or not , but my mother said the only way she could possibly love me is to come to terms with the fact that I might die any day. And by letting go it frees her to love me just for today. That might work with Lori." Angela's voice cracks and says " She is just so full of anger about her father that she forces herself to hate me." I answer "She's a smart girl and she knows you love her. Actions speak louder than words." Angela says " Maybe I'll write her., that's both at once " I drop Angela off and she says " Don't be a stranger the key is in under the 3rd hanging potted plant in case I'm not home. Thanks." She turns slams the car door shut and goes home. I get home at 11pm to find my mother waiting. I talk to her about the years when she wrote to dad and what it was like. She says "In young love there is a tension that is maintained by the chasing and running of both parties. That's all I'm going to say." Goodnight. Jody