This is part 12 in the Fox Lane series. It's still the first week in August when get a letter from Ted. The letter says: "Dear Gymnasts, The season is rapidly approaching so I'm giving you a little pre-season assignment. I want you to run 3 miles a day, do 300 sit ups, 25 presses to handstand and hold for 3 seconds plus 1000 push ups a day." The running I'm not crazy about , but it's not impossible. What does catch my attention and quite frankly worries me is the idea of doing 1000 push ups a day. The phone rings and I pick it up saying "Articulate". John responds by singing the commercial song that got him a beating. "Another and another and another enough to make a healthy...." I respond by tapping the phone receiver with my finger saying "That's my monsterous nob knocking in protest to your adolescent singing." John says "Cute! Did you get the letter?" I answer "Yes and is that a typo about doing 1000 push ups a day?" John says "I sure as hell ain't going to call and ask." I answer " Contain your petunias Sparticus, I'll do it and call you right back." John responds "Pucker up rutabega brain I'm going to rub the phone on my sphincter for your listening pleasure." I say "Won't that be redundant given the fact your head is already occupying said orifice?" John replies " Don't be jealous just because your cavernous crusty canal has become an echo chamber." I answer "Be right back with an answer from out future kaiser" and hang up . I call Ted and his wife answers " Hello?" I say " Hi Mrs. Nadeau it's Jody from the gymnastics team. May I please speak to Ted?" She answers sure Jody. Listen next weekend I'm making lasagna for the whole team so bring your appetite. Hold on just a minute." I hear in the back ground " Oh Teddy honey schnookums one of your gymnast is on the phone." Ted comes to the phone saying " If you ever repeat what you just heard I will be forced to end your life with extreme prejudice. Now what can I do for you?" I say "Well I got your letter and am wondering if maybe you made a typo about doing 1000 push up a day." Ted answers " Do I seem like the type of person who makes mistakes of that nature? If that's it I'll see you Sept 8th. Don't forget our deal!" He hangs up and I exhale preparing myself for the Herculean task ahead. Calling John back he answers "Let me guess Tinkerbell, we have to do them." I reply "Yup, I'm going to start mine right now." John says "I'll call when I got 500. Later biscuit breath." I reply : "Later retard." We hang up and begin pushing. After the first few sets of 25 I drop quickly to sets of 15 and then 10 finally ending with sets of 5 push ups at a time. It takes a total of 1 1/2 hours. John calls, I answer and "Well that sucked the big one." He replies " I'm going to be crippled tomorrow. Let's meet at Leonard park early so we can have all day to finish them." I answer " Amen to that. I 'll see you at the pool. I have a few new dives to show you. Later." I hang up and go back to my notebook to see how many more in the hopes that somehow I miscounted. It took me another 2 hours to finish the rest. I skipped the other stuff. I get up at 8am eat a bowl of cereal and tell Unc where I'm going. It's a 10 mile bicycle ride to the pool in Mt. Kisco. I 'm going to count this as the 3 mile run. I get to the pool and find John we catch up. Johns say "So McShultz I see you're back from yodeling in the Alps. Ready to get to work?" I answer " Yoda-lay-ee-who! Let's get this party started." I jump down and bang out 35 push ups. John follows with 40. I do an additional 30 to his 35. We continue this until we both are down to 1-2 push ups per set. We both have 500. After this we go diving. I show john my new 1 1/2 forward somersault dive. of the 1 meter. He tries and belly flops. I go to the 3 meter and perform the same dive. John follows suit to an additional flop and pink belly. We rest and walk over to Friendly's to get a snack. On our way there John jogs ahead and performs a Round off, back handspring, back flip. Being very impressed and eager to learn I say " Wow! That's awesome! How did you learn that?" He says " Trial and error first I learned a back handspring and put it together with the round off. I combined those two to a jump in the air. Then one day I just went for it and lived to tell about it. So that's when it began our quest for greatness. Everyday was an all out see who could out perform the other. I learned how to tumble on grass. John learned to flip and twist off the diving boards. Together we just about killed ourselves doing 1000 push ups everyday for over a month. After each day when I would begin m 10 mile return bike ride we would make bets. One bet that comes to mind is the day I said "John I bet I can do a full split by tomorrow." He said " There is no way that's happening. I'll bet you anything you want that by tomorrow you can't do a full split. I rode home and ate dinner with Unc and watched the Mets game on T.V.. After the game there was a western where a doctor had to take a bullet out of a cowboys' shoulder without anesthesia. The thought then occurred to me that if I was anesthetized I would be able to get down to a split. So I go through our rather extensive liquor cabinet and start drinking a bottle of red wine and stretching. I kneel down and place pillows under them and put one leg in front while holding on to the pool table. Little by little my body slowly releases and lets me down an agonizing inch at a time. I rest and drink more wine until finally I am both drunk and down in a full split. Almost immediately following this accomplishment I run to the bathroom and puke my guts out. The following morning Unc found the bottle and looked at me . I said " Unc before you get mad I want to show you something." I got down into a full split and smiled at him saying " Well? What do you think?" He just shakes his head and walks away. I rode the 10 miles to the pool and found John. I said "Hey check this out." I jump down to a split and stayed there smiling. John says " O.k. great what about the other side?" I try and am as far away as when I started the other leg. I say " O.k. but I did it so give me a little credit." John shrugs and says let go to the tower today." Having been thee once already this summer I agree and follow him up the concrete steps to the 10 meter platform. I go first doing a 1 1/2 forward pike with 1 1/2 twist to a perfect backdrop. All the air goes out of my lungs. I thought I had landed on the cement. I couldn't breath normal for almost 10 minutes . The life guard came to check me out and says just my ego was bruised. John climbed back down the ladder and retired from diving for that day. We did our push up and press to handstands until it was twilight. I went back to the pool and climbed the 10 meter platform again and did the dive I had crashed on earlier. Everyone clapped and John was steaming mad. I ride home and know in my heart that I have the courage to do what is necessary to get good. I didn't necessarily have the talent, but the strength and the balls to make up for it. The summer ends and school starts. I'll never forget everyones face when I walk into the gym . They all just stare and say " What the hell happened to you? You look like the Hulk." Ted came over and said "Nice job over the summer. Let's see if we can put that muscle to good use this year." John did the same amount of work, but his body reacted differently. He looks strong but not near the transformation that I'm going through. I jump up on the rings and feel light as a feather . I press to a handstand using the straps for balance. Then I lower to see if I can do a cross with my new found strength. Everyone is in shock when I get down. I say " What?" Ted says " That cross is as god as anyones in the world Jody." So the year begins and our team consists of John, Jimmy Watson and myself. The new guys are Dean Defeo , Jack Gescheidt, Brad Kerr and some guys I don't know yet. There is one really dark skinned boy named Steve Scandale that is training with us because the program in his school is cut. Ted sits everybody down and say " For those of you who don't know me my name is Ted Nadeau. You can call me Ted, Coach, Mr. Nadeau or Coach Nadeau. Is that clear?" We all reply " Yes coach Nadeau" He say "Good. What I'm about to tell you may be shocking or seemingly impossible. I assure you it's not. You can see the obvious changes in Jody and John. These changes will happen to you as well if you doexactly as I say.Anyone who doesn't think or want to be sectional team champions this year please leave now. Jod and John are both sick. I want you to catch their disease. Is that clear?" Team replies "Yes Coach Nadeau." Ted goes on to say " Who received my letter this summer?" Everyone raises their hands. He continues " Can anyone tell me what that letter said " Dean says " You said do a few push ups, sit ups and run." Ted responds " Does anyone disagree with that?' No one says a word . Ted pont to me and says " Jody please stand up and tell your teammates what you thought the letter said." I say It said "Press 25 handstands and hold for 3 seconds each. Run 3 miles a day. Do 300 sit ups . " I pause for dramatic effect. Ted asks " Anything else?" I say " Yes 1000 push up s a day every day." Everyone else laughs Ted laughs with the team at me. He walks over puts his arm around me and says "My wife made a typo. This guy did what it said. He would have done 10,000 if I had asked. It's not normal. It's not sane. It is the behavior of someone who wants something so bad he will do whatever it takes to get it. We do not leave the gym until we do the same strength work Jody does. Whatever whenever however we will be the best team this county has ever seen." I sit down Ted walks over to Steve Scandale and says " Become 1/2 as good as this guy and we will win." He goes over to John and say " Learn 1/2 as fast as this guy and we will win. I will post the days work out on the wall every day." That was the first of many speeches that untited us against a common enemy. That enemy is Yorktown High School . Their leader is Vinny Savastano. They haven't lost in 15 years and have no idea what's coming there way. This is how our school year began. In my academic classes it got tough, real quick. This is the year for every test that determines whether or not you go to college. The only break I get is in ceramics. There is a girl who sits next to me that makes beautiful things on a daily basis. She is a tough looking girl and speaks to no one. One day I go to speak to her. I say " How do you get the clay to react that way?" She stares at me for a long time but says nothing. I figure she doesn' t want to talk. I can relate to that. Before the end of class she walks over and stands behind me. She wraps her arms around me and grabs my hands on the clay. She says quietly in my ear " Kick the wheel at an even tempo like a 4 count and kick. An important technique especially for beginners is to use or adjust the wheel so that one can work the spinning clay, with the hands in conjunction with the knees and thighs so that strength is applied to the hands by squeezing the legs together. Why don't you start with that hot shot gymnast. God you guys make me sick." I am in shock. The way she smells and how she touches me made me feel dizzy and my heart starts pounding out of my chest. Then she says gymnasts make her sick. She comes back and says "Well?" I say " Well what?" she answers " Ready to learn I'm only going to say this once so pay attention. Add the clay to the center of the wheel head. Throw it on there, or use moisture on the head, flatten the ball on one side, score and secure to the head with a plunk and some back and forth motion. Spin the wheel fairly fast. With a bowl of water wet hands and clay, which is in the form of a ball. The object here is to cup it in the hands, squeeze it using legs for extra strength, and raise, the object being to make a cone or vertical wall tower. Keep spinning and keep wet and slippery." I am watching her and like magic everything she says is happening in front of me. She then says"While the first hand is cupped around the top of tower, to hold it up and center, the second hand is placed on the top with elbow straight above. In conjunction the clay is pushed back down into a perfect cylinder with a flat top. The object of this step is to further wedge the clay and align the clay throughout in a more or less swirl pattern." I think to myself she knows a lot more than the teacher. She continues saying "I know it's a lot to take in. Why don't you go back to your wheel and try it I'll look over now and then and comment. Why did you have to be a stupid gymnast? God I hate that sport." She goes on to spin the most incredible pot I ever saw. She says "So what do you think? Do you like it?" I say "It's amazing you could be teaching this class you're so good." She frowns and says " Yeah, oh happy day, and have a whole room of idiots who don't care about pottery like you." I get offended and say " You know just cause you're good a something doesn't give you the right to think you're better than everyone else. God you're an arrogant asshole!" She smiles and says "Was that an original thought that emerged from that obviously simple mind? No seriously I'm impressed that a loser like you can see why someone like me hates them." I start to say F___ You! but am cut off when she interrupts by raising her finger and touching it to my lips. She says " Shhhh! I'm just playing with you, relax. Actually I'm jealous as hell of you guys. I always wanted to be a gymnast, but look at me." Taking her finger away she laughs and motions for me to wipe my mouth. I have some clay from her finger. The bell rings and she says "My name is Loredana. Do you need me to spell that for you.? " Before I can respond she's gone. I am spinning with different thought , emotions and physical sensations. I say out loud " Whooooa" Now I know why they do that. That's it for tonight. Thanks and goodnight. Jody
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