Today is Thurs. and I'm dying to be in New York. Why is it that time drags when you want to go somewhere? Yet when it's something you dread doing it's like you were suddenly transported to that moment. The mysteries of the spacetime continuum continue to be a conundrum. Well, where did we leave off? I'm going to play a little with the continuum myself today. I leave Mrs Zaccardis' home in shock. I will get back to this later. The rest of the school year was crammed with preparation for the Regents exams. I stuffed so much academic information in my head that I hoped and prayed that one day I wouldn't have to ever go to school again. Ironically here I am today struggling to get back to school. Everyone in my class is talking about the Prom and the S.A.T. exams. It seems like I'm on the outside looking in. I am raised by extremely self educated parents who even to this day I can barely fathom the amount of information they assimilated. These people taught me to think for myself and not settle for less. Will I be like that when Ammba is in High School? Abbey Northrop is a 27 year old woman who spends more time at out house than her own. She belongs to a sect of society my mother loathes. This being the high society of the W.A.S.P.. Being a teenager raised with parents of mixed heritage and open minds it's incomprehensible that people could actually be that way. Picture the scene from Caddyshack at the Country Club. These people really exist and not only do they exist they are frighteningly powerful. It's 1976 and I remember my mother saying that the downfall of this country will be because of: narrow minded, fear based, power hungry, under educated W.A.S.P.s who feel they are entitled to rule the world. I thought she was being melodramatic at the time. Now with our present state of affairs in this country, I feel she was right on target. Abbeys' parents disowned her and we adopted her so to speak. My mother was her mentor and guided her continuing education. She pointed out the differences between Johns' and my minds. She said that John appeared to be much more intelligent because he skidded along the surface with a quick and facile grasp of the obvious. She said I was a deep thinker and appeared slow witted , but was actually more intelligent. This insight has allowed me to weather many a storm of people claiming I was just plain stupid. I struggled with school because I was trying to put all this knowledge into some coherent form of perspective that I could relate to. It appeared to me that the academic game was to just regurgitate the answer they wanted to hear.This ringed a little too much like that of a George Orwells novel. Conformity is good and will be rewarded. Original thought is a luxury you can't afford. Here I am surrounded by some of the finest minds I'll ever know and educated fools are blackmailing me to repeat what they want to hear or they will withhold the right for me to advance to learn any further. I 've always believed that to get ahead in anything you need balls and brains. It seems I have too much of one and not enough of the other. I have a running feud with the 11th grade english teacher. He says all jocks are stupid and he will do whatever he can to keep them out of college. He demands to be called Dr. Dicker. I admit that I have a problem with blindly acquiescing to any authority. This guy defines what it is to be an egomaniac with an inferiority complex. So in my inimitable style after completing one of the most important exams of my academic career I hand it in an say "Have a good summer MISTER Dicker" and leave. He comes running out after me and yells "Shultz you will pay for that insolence". Thinking I am done with him for good I respond "Hey buddy, I'm sorry and all but, it's not my fault you're a diabetic. Why should I have to pay for your insolence medicine?" He answers "I said insolence you moron, not insulin. Just how stupid are you?" Now I know now that this is less than brilliant and that I am feathering my own nest of misery, but I reply "Oh I don't know, maybe stupid enough not to base my entire self esteem around an honorary piece of paper from a Roncos discount corespondents course. Mister Dicker." Well at this he snaps and charges at me yelling "I'll kill you. You fucking little asshole." I see murder in his eyes and realize once again my big mouth has just created another unpleasant situation. Here we go again. He is a lot faster than he looks and is gaining on me. I round the corner accelerating and Blammo! I smash into somebody knocking them down. I go to help them up as Dicker rounds the corner and starts reaching for my throat. I look at the hand I'm holding and realize that it's none other than Mr. Mergardt. Before he can assess the situation Dicker shoves him to the floor and leaps on me pounding his fist into my arms that are covering my face. I see the array of possible scenarios and begin to laugh. This infuriates Dicker as he grabs my throat and tries to strangle me. Mergardt is yelling "Saul what are you doing? You're going to kill him stop." Dicker keeps squeezing but my chin is pinned to my chest crushing his fingers, so I'm in no immediate danger. I'm just about play the cymbols on his head by boxing his ears when Mergardt says "Jody, no!! please let me take care of this." I don't do it and push Dicker off of me as Mergardt holds him by his shoulders saying " O.k. Saul tell me what happened." Dicker is in a rage and says " You're what happened . You and the whole athletic department taking all the funding and squandering it on stupid sports. That money should b allocated to academics not encouraging a bunch under achieving monkeys. Then this fucker disrespects me by calling me Mr. Dicker." Mergardt answers " Well Saul I would hardly call Mister a form of disrespect. He had to of done something else. Just tell me what it is." Dicker says " I want him expelled for attacking me. I don't give a shit who you are Rod. Mr Big Athletic director. I want him destroyed." I pipe in "Don't forget gymnastics coach" Still holding Dicker Mergardt whip a look at me and says " That's not really helping. Go to my office now." I say "I 'm sorry. I'm going." I leave and sit in his office for over an hour when he walks in and slams the door. " I'm not back from my sabatical for even a day and you do this. Well what do you have to say?" I sigh and tell him the truth about how he taunts the athletes and the Mister Dicker thing. I leave out the insulin incident. Mergardt leans forward and says " Look I know this guy is a jerk. But he's tenured and has some clout. He can cause you some real problems. Did you think of that while you were being a wiseass? I don't know that I cn do anything to stop him. Stay here while I go call in a few favors." Mergardt leaves and John comes in pointing at me and mocks silent laughter. Then I see a hand grab him and yank him from behind. I can't see the face but by the gold cuff links and French cuffs it's Mergardt. Rod Mergardt is the Pat Reilly of our school. Not only because he looks like him , but because he dresses like him. Pat Reilly won best dressed man of the year several times. John disappears and I chuckle to myself. We haven't seen Mergardt since he returned and in less than 2 hours he's man handled both of us. Marylyn, Mergardts secretary peeks her head in and smiles saying " You were amazing this year. That's why Rod's back. He wants to beat Yorktown and that Savastano travesty of a man. More of a pimp if you ask me." I laugh and she goes back out to her desk. Wow, thats the first time in 3 years she ever talked to me. Mergardt returns and says with an arm motion that resembles him shooting a hook shot to follow him. We walk over to the administrative building. I think hmm, I always wondered what went on in here. This isn't how I wanted to find out though. We enter the building and go to Mr. Lamonicas office. He is the principle of Fox Lane. Dr. Dicker is in there and he is still steaming. Lamonica says to me "Sit down son we have some decisions to make." I do and he say " O.k. here's the situation as I see it. Jody left after finishing the Regents exam and said to you Dr. Dicker have a nice summer Mr. Dicker. is that right Saul?" He nods. Lamonica continues " Then you went out into the hall and for whatever reason. Believe me I don't care. Began screaming obcenities at Jody. Am I still on track?" Saul nods Lamonica then says " Following this you chase him down the hall and tackle him and try to strangle him in front of his coach. Is that it more or less." Dicker nods. Lamonica throws his pencil in the air and slaps his hand on his paper blotter and stands up yelling "Listen up soldiers! I've fought in Vietnam and regretfully killed people. I've worked as a NYC policeman and unfortunately killed people. Give me one reason why I shouldn't go for the hat trick and kill one of you Bozos? Never in my life have I had to deal with such a large group of misguided misfits fighting over god knows what, for god knows why. Jody here's what's going to happen to you. You are going to help the janitor with what ever he needs help with . If that means cleaning up puke and shit then you'll do it with a smile. Go report to him right now before I lose my temper." I get up to leave and see a smile on Dickers face . Wonderful, just how I want to finish out the year. Lamonica says " Sit down Jody I haven't dismissed you yet. "As for you Mr. I can't be fired I have tenure. As far as I'm concerned if you ever darken my door step for whatever reason I will make you piss up a rope. Do you understand me Saul. As for you Rod welcome back. Feel like running for principle next year? Well go on. What is everyone standing around for? Rod and I have some catching up to do." I leave and as I walk back Dicker says " I 'm looking forward to grading your final. Have a nice summer Jody." I say "Mazal Tov" As I walk in I see John running up to me. I put up my hand and say " I Promise full disclosure , but not right now. Come on I need help with something." John says " I can't I'm staying after to study with Nelson for tomorrows Chem final." I say " Later brainiac" I go down to the basement and knock on the door and some voice say " Come in Jody The office called to let me know you were on your way. Sit down." I say " Thanks I got in trouble that's why I'm here." He stands up and has ham hocks for arms and king kong sized chest. He reaches over the desk and says "I'm Billy, Billy Banks nice to meet you. You know my brothers don't you?" I say " I know Buddy mostly , but I've met John and heard about Bobby I'm sorry. We 've never met have we?" Billy laughs and says " I don't think so unless you've been visiting sing sing recently." Billy says I 'm here because my probation officer knows Lamonica and likes me. So look you can split if you want or stay either's fine with me." I say " I think I'll stay I want to ask you about something that happened a couple of years ago." Well that's it for tonight. Thanks for reading . Jody
No comments:
Post a Comment